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Old 10-15-2008, 10:12 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,441 posts, read 5,372,373 times
Reputation: 3108

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Okay... this really could have been posted in here, Politics and Controversies, or Parenting. But, I had just read an article about Lindsay Burke who was killed by her boyfriend after an abusive relationship she went into initially because of his "bad boy" charm.

To digress a bit, there's a very sticky point to the abortion argument. Of course, it's the woman's body to make the decision, but there's a factor that the cells separating in her womb are from two people. So, where does the guy play a factor? If the boy in the relationship decides he doesn't want the child, who cares? She can go on and have it, and then take child support from the guy for 18 years. Or, if he decides he wants the child and she doesn't, oh well.. he can attend the funeral (if there is one), or not. This post isn't about a pro or con for abortion, because I've seen plenty of arguments that say ... if he didn't want the responsibility of the child, he should have kept "it" in his pants... that it was a choice he made, no one forced him to have sex.

So... back to this poor girl who was senselessly murdered. If she didn't want to be abused... she shouldn't have chosen a "bad boy" right? Wouldn't that be a choice she made to be with a "bad boy" and the assumed behaviors that go with that type of personality? It may not be that easy. I don't believe that all "bad boys" abuse their girlfriend/wife. The same way, all men that kill or abuse their girlfriend/wife aren't considered "bad boys."

But this lead to my questions. First, if you were/are considered a "bad boy" do you find that women like being treated a little rough sometimes or do you border on abusing them? Second, if you ever had a "bad boy" did you find he was any more or less inclined to be more abusive than a non-bad boy? Third, is there a perception that a "bad boy" may be a little more dominating or controlling than a "regular" guy? If so, why would a woman choose to go out with a "bad boy" if the stats lead to possible abuse?
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:19 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,152 posts, read 34,658,063 times
Reputation: 16268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos View Post
If so, why would a woman choose to go out with a "bad boy" if the stats lead to possible abuse?
It's Darwin in action. If a woman is dumb enough to have a relationship with a "bad boy" and not being using birth control, then I don't really have much sympathy if she gets pregnant and suffers the consequences of abandonment or worse. But if he does abuse or kill her, of course he needs to be punished severely.

Perhaps these "bad boys" need to "think" ahead and get vasectomies. No pregnancies, no child support issues.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:29 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,441 posts, read 5,372,373 times
Reputation: 3108
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
It's Darwin in action. If a woman is dumb enough to have a relationship with a "bad boy" and not being using birth control, then I don't really have much sympathy if she gets pregnant and suffers the consequences of abandonment or worse. But if he does abuse or kill her, of course he needs to be punished severely.

Perhaps these "bad boys" need to "think" ahead and get vasectomies. No pregnancies, no child support issues.
So you don't think women bear any responsibility for "going after" the bad boy type? You wouldn't teach your daughter to stay away from them?

I've told my daughter that although I'm sure they're very appealing, unless you get to know one (a bad boy) from a platonic standpoint first (so you actually "know" them first), I wouldn't want to encourage her to date a bad boy.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Iowa
918 posts, read 1,470,701 times
Reputation: 369
I portray the "bad boy" image to those that don't know me, but have been told that I am one of the nicest and most caring people once you get to know me. I would NEVER abuse anyone, even the dude that I found in my house with my ex.... x_x

I am not portraying it intentionally... it's just the clothes that I like and all that nonsense make people jump to conclusions. I take it as the best of both worlds- I can be the bad boy fix for those looking for it, but have the decency to form a deep bond with the real women out there.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 16,378,233 times
Reputation: 10043
Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
I portray the "bad boy" image to those that don't know me, but have been told that I am one of the nicest and most caring people once you get to know me. I would NEVER abuse anyone, even the dude that I found in my house with my ex.... x_x

I am not portraying it intentionally... it's just the clothes that I like and all that nonsense make people jump to conclusions. I take it as the best of both worlds- I can be the bad boy fix for those looking for it, but have the decency to form a deep bond with the real women out there.
You imply that "real women" dont end up in relationships with bad boys. How absurd! They end up in relationships with whomever because they have a heart, desires and feelings. I think that makes them "real." Dont you?
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Iowa
918 posts, read 1,470,701 times
Reputation: 369
It's your opinion. You jump on me for "implying"? That is what is absurd...

I'm simply stating that "real" women, IMHO, aren't actively looking for bad boys, and if they are, then they aren't "real" to me. Don't jump to conclusions without clarification.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
You imply that "real women" dont end up in relationships with bad boys. How absurd! They end up in relationships with whomever because they have a heart, desires and feelings. I think that makes them "real." Dont you?
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:55 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 11,975,034 times
Reputation: 1841
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos View Post
Okay... this really could have been posted in here, Politics and Controversies, or Parenting. But, I had just read an article about Lindsay Burke who was killed by her boyfriend after an abusive relationship she went into initially because of his "bad boy" charm.

To digress a bit, there's a very sticky point to the abortion argument. Of course, it's the woman's body to make the decision, but there's a factor that the cells separating in her womb are from two people. So, where does the guy play a factor? If the boy in the relationship decides he doesn't want the child, who cares? She can go on and have it, and then take child support from the guy for 18 years. Or, if he decides he wants the child and she doesn't, oh well.. he can attend the funeral (if there is one), or not. This post isn't about a pro or con for abortion, because I've seen plenty of arguments that say ... if he didn't want the responsibility of the child, he should have kept "it" in his pants... that it was a choice he made, no one forced him to have sex.

So... back to this poor girl who was senselessly murdered. If she didn't want to be abused... she shouldn't have chosen a "bad boy" right? Wouldn't that be a choice she made to be with a "bad boy" and the assumed behaviors that go with that type of personality? It may not be that easy. I don't believe that all "bad boys" abuse their girlfriend/wife. The same way, all men that kill or abuse their girlfriend/wife aren't considered "bad boys."

But this lead to my questions. First, if you were/are considered a "bad boy" do you find that women like being treated a little rough sometimes or do you border on abusing them? Second, if you ever had a "bad boy" did you find he was any more or less inclined to be more abusive than a non-bad boy? Third, is there a perception that a "bad boy" may be a little more dominating or controlling than a "regular" guy? If so, why would a woman choose to go out with a "bad boy" if the stats lead to possible abuse?
Ok....I guess this depends on your definition of a "bad boy".......somone who chooses to abuse their spouse/girlfriend or anyone for that matter is NOT a "bad boy" he's a group of words I can't put down in this forum.....but to sum it up.....he's the opposite of a bad boy....he's a Pu$$y......a loser....and a sad excuse for a human being. Personally, if a guy I was dating or married to hit me or otherwise abused me....the least I would do would be leave him and never look back. Eventhough I don't consider it to be the "fault" of the abused woman, if she stayed in a situation like that I would have no sympathy for her........
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:59 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,152 posts, read 34,658,063 times
Reputation: 16268
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos View Post
So you don't think women bear any responsibility for "going after" the bad boy type? You wouldn't teach your daughter to stay away from them?
No. I do think that us women have to take responsibility for our choices in relationship partners. And we do get "punished" for going out with the wrong man by having our heart broken or worse. But not every "bad boy" is obvious, most are charmers, and some "bad boys" are just putting on an act and are really nice guys inside.

And if I had a daughter, I would make sure that she was using birth control and practicing safe sex in all of her sexual relationship. I would tell the same to any female friend. But not matter what we teach our young people or advise our female friends, ultimately they will do what they want to until experience teaches them not to. Just like touching a hot stove top. Everyone usually gets burned once, and that should be enough to teach them about the physics of fire and hot surfaces. And some smart people don't need to experience the burn to know to stay away from a dangerous situation.
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Old 10-15-2008, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 16,378,233 times
Reputation: 10043
Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
It's your opinion. You jump on me for "implying"? That is what is absurd...

I'm simply stating that "real" women, IMHO, aren't actively looking for bad boys, and if they are, then they aren't "real" to me. Don't jump to conclusions without clarification.
I suggest you pick up a dictionary and look up the word "real." I suggest you walk up to a woman who is with a "bad boy" and tell her that she isnt a "real" woman. I assure you the slap across your face will feel "real." I'm done. I refuse to argue with a troll.
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Old 10-15-2008, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Iowa
918 posts, read 1,470,701 times
Reputation: 369
A troll, haha. You are funny. Ridiculous, but funny.

Life is a matter of perception.

One definition of real: existing objectively; actual (not merely possible or ideal), or essential

My use of the word is quite obvious.
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