When are you supposed to move on? (dating, girl, love)

[k374]

I've been dating this girl for 2 dates now and I don't feel the stuff that you're supposed to feel...week in the knees, butterflies in your stomach, thinking about her everyday etc. etc. After how many days are you supposed to feel this, and when is it time to move on? She seems nice enough, but I have been told that nice is "settling" and I need to experience the above feelings to determine if she is "the one".

[Mr.Cat]

To answer the question, when you realize it's completely over.

[LovelyinLa]

I think you're putting a lot of pressure on your dates. Relationships take time to develop and some of the qualitites you mentioned you will feel with more than one person because it's called lust not love. If you're only looking for that then you're looking for the wrong things. You want to look for compatibility. Sometimes, it's only after getting to know someone that you realize that this person is special and then the "weak in the knees" phase may begin.

My advice, instead of focusing on forever, focus on here and now. Just ask yourself 2 things: Do I like this person? and Am I enjoying spending time with them? If the answer is yes, continue to date them. If it's no, move on.

[babigyrl5]

I know after the 1st date if we have a connection. If you are on the 2nd date and you dont have that connection then I'd say just enjoy the friendship. You never know- the friendship can turn into more down the road since it is the foundation of good relationships but I know after a first date whether Im feeling a spark, 2nd date whether I feel a connection. Im friends with alot of guys I started out dating and I didnt feel that connection and still dont but we are great friends now so I havemt lost anything

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by babigyrl5

Im friends with alot of guys I started out dating and I didnt feel that connection and still dont but we are great friends now so I havemt lost anything

Do you know if they did? Just testing that "friendship" theory...

[babigyrl5]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Do you know if they did? Just testing that "friendship" theory...

oh yeah, they wanted me to give it more time or give them a chance and I did, I tried to be open minded and receptive to a possiblity but I stayed honest with them in the end, nothing was there for me. I still have a guy trying after 2 years, every 6 months he asks me if my feelings have changed. sheesh! lol I feel sometimes people can be "the One" to us, be we arent "the One" to them.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by babigyrl5

I still have a guy trying after 2 years, every 6 months he asks me if my feelings have changed. sheesh!

See? So much for the innocent friendship theory...

[babigyrl5]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

See? So much for the innocent friendship theory...

oooooh I thought you meant like did they have a connection with me too, like itf they didnt like me either then it didnt matter- gotcha

[Oildog]

It depends...I feel there should be some connection when speaking with the person that says 'I want to get to know you better'. With that said I may take her out a third time, as things dont always click right away. If you dont get at least a little spark i would look for other folks. If she is into you then she might offer to take you out.

I think its worth taking someone out three times if there seems to be some potentail. But I agree after two dates if there is nothing then I'd keep her on the friend list, and wouldn't throw any more $$$ at her unless you get a different vibe in the furure.

[lola8822]

Originally Posted by k374

I've been dating this girl for 2 dates now and I don't feel the stuff that you're supposed to feel...week in the knees, butterflies in your stomach, thinking about her everyday etc. etc. After how many days are you supposed to feel this, and when is it time to move on? She seems nice enough, but I have been told that nice is "settling" and I need to experience the above feelings to determine if she is "the one".

Only you know what you want but if It were me and I didn't have any of those feelings after the second date......I would have to change the relationship into a completley platonic one so I could date other ppl. And you very well could develop those feelings for her down the road but don't force it......and definitly don't "settle".