Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Sputnik Planitia
7,823 posts, read 11,712,702 times
Reputation: 9044

Advertisements

I've been dating this girl for 2 dates now and I don't feel the stuff that you're supposed to feel...week in the knees, butterflies in your stomach, thinking about her everyday etc. etc. After how many days are you supposed to feel this, and when is it time to move on? She seems nice enough, but I have been told that nice is "settling" and I need to experience the above feelings to determine if she is "the one".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,260,350 times
Reputation: 5512
To answer the question, when you realize it's completely over.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,445,437 times
Reputation: 710
I think you're putting a lot of pressure on your dates. Relationships take time to develop and some of the qualitites you mentioned you will feel with more than one person because it's called lust not love. If you're only looking for that then you're looking for the wrong things. You want to look for compatibility. Sometimes, it's only after getting to know someone that you realize that this person is special and then the "weak in the knees" phase may begin.

My advice, instead of focusing on forever, focus on here and now. Just ask yourself 2 things: Do I like this person? and Am I enjoying spending time with them? If the answer is yes, continue to date them. If it's no, move on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:40 PM
 
Location: 👶🏾CHI🛫CVG🛬AVL🛫CMH🛬CHI🛫?
926 posts, read 2,738,897 times
Reputation: 401
I know after the 1st date if we have a connection. If you are on the 2nd date and you dont have that connection then I'd say just enjoy the friendship. You never know- the friendship can turn into more down the road since it is the foundation of good relationships but I know after a first date whether Im feeling a spark, 2nd date whether I feel a connection. Im friends with alot of guys I started out dating and I didnt feel that connection and still dont but we are great friends now so I havemt lost anything
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,920,671 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by babigyrl5 View Post
Im friends with alot of guys I started out dating and I didnt feel that connection and still dont but we are great friends now so I havemt lost anything
Do you know if they did? Just testing that "friendship" theory...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 10:57 PM
 
Location: 👶🏾CHI🛫CVG🛬AVL🛫CMH🛬CHI🛫?
926 posts, read 2,738,897 times
Reputation: 401
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Do you know if they did? Just testing that "friendship" theory...
oh yeah, they wanted me to give it more time or give them a chance and I did, I tried to be open minded and receptive to a possiblity but I stayed honest with them in the end, nothing was there for me. I still have a guy trying after 2 years, every 6 months he asks me if my feelings have changed. sheesh! lol I feel sometimes people can be "the One" to us, be we arent "the One" to them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,920,671 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by babigyrl5 View Post
I still have a guy trying after 2 years, every 6 months he asks me if my feelings have changed. sheesh!
See? So much for the innocent friendship theory...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2008, 11:27 PM
 
Location: 👶🏾CHI🛫CVG🛬AVL🛫CMH🛬CHI🛫?
926 posts, read 2,738,897 times
Reputation: 401
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
See? So much for the innocent friendship theory...
oooooh I thought you meant like did they have a connection with me too, like itf they didnt like me either then it didnt matter- gotcha
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2008, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,029 posts, read 30,773,910 times
Reputation: 16264
It depends...I feel there should be some connection when speaking with the person that says 'I want to get to know you better'. With that said I may take her out a third time, as things dont always click right away. If you dont get at least a little spark i would look for other folks. If she is into you then she might offer to take you out.

I think its worth taking someone out three times if there seems to be some potentail. But I agree after two dates if there is nothing then I'd keep her on the friend list, and wouldn't throw any more $$$ at her unless you get a different vibe in the furure.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2008, 09:02 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 13,131,140 times
Reputation: 1850
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374 View Post
I've been dating this girl for 2 dates now and I don't feel the stuff that you're supposed to feel...week in the knees, butterflies in your stomach, thinking about her everyday etc. etc. After how many days are you supposed to feel this, and when is it time to move on? She seems nice enough, but I have been told that nice is "settling" and I need to experience the above feelings to determine if she is "the one".
Only you know what you want but if It were me and I didn't have any of those feelings after the second date......I would have to change the relationship into a completley platonic one so I could date other ppl. And you very well could develop those feelings for her down the road but don't force it......and definitly don't "settle".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top