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The only reason I am still living in a place I hate, helping the stbx...complains about his landscape business (I paid 10k for equipment/machinery, etc.),
he has major medical issues...I have so had it, I have tried to be a good person but I am sick of supporting a selfish person who takes from me, and gives nothing in return......
I definitely can relate. I lasted almost 12 years in an abusive bipolar relationship. I supported him in every way possible and withstood much horrible things in the process. It wasn't until it started affecting the kids, that I had to do something drastic about it. He started seeing doctors years ago, but it takes a long time to find the right coctail of medications and even then, there's no cure. I put the kids into therapy and moved him out of the house (paid for all his expenses too). He needed some tough love. It's been a few months and he's starting to appreciate it eventhough, he still hasn't found a job yet.
Go to counseling immediately. Together and separately. Don't pick someone out of the yellow pages either. Get a referral and then interview the person to make sure they understand what you want to get from therapy.
Quitting might be the solution for your situation, but you have to get help. Friends, family, internet, etc... can't be the place where you turn to for this type of guidance.
If you need to vent and rant though, we're here for you. I feel your pain. Hang in there.
I understand that while there are medical issues, you might not want to leave, but it sounds like it's becoming him or you, and there's nothing wrong with saving yourself. Find someone else to become caregiver. You may be experiencing "caregiver burn-out". Check with your insurance company, some of them cover respite care. You might fell better if you can step back for a while. If they don't cover it , maybe a family member can take over.
Here's a thought. Put all that landscaping equipment up for sale. Then sell it. Then leave with cash in hand.
That was my first thought too.
I don't really know anything about your relationship. Taking some time away is not a bad idea. Counseling isn't bad idea either, especially if there is a reason to save the marriage...
...I haven't taken the time to read your past posts, though to my faulty memory, you're not an irrational person.
But don't beat yourself up over it. I have the feeling you need permission to leave. So do it.
No it isn't. She paid for everything to begin with. Why not at least get her money back? No reason why she should get the short end of the so called stick.
I don't really know anything about your relationship. Taking some time away is not a bad idea. Counseling isn't bad idea either, especially if there is a reason to save the marriage...
...I haven't taken the time to read your past posts, though to my faulty memory, you're not an irrational person.
But don't beat yourself up over it. I have the feeling you need permission to leave. So do it.
Thanks everyone.
Counseling is so over. Ive done it- I am healthy- I am no longer going to Al-anon I know what I need to do for ME.
Everything else, well the medical issues are still there. No way am I becoming a caretaker. If surgery is eventually needed, I may take Rance up on the idea, sell the equipment, there is a long history, and I have done more than my share.
Counseling is so over. Ive done it- I am healthy- I am no longer going to Al-anon I know what I need to do for ME.
Everything else, well the medical issues are still there. No way am I becoming a caretaker. If surgery is eventually needed, I may take Rance up on the idea, sell the equipment, there is a long history, and I have done more than my share.
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