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Old 10-19-2008, 01:36 PM
 
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Ellie, you've just realized something. Namely, that you're bumping around in a comfort zone. It's easy to stay with your current set of friends, but at the same time you have this vaguely dissatisfied feeling that you're missing out on a lot of what's interesting in life. Right?

Now, you don't want to punt your current friends. At the same time, you need new blood in your life. People whose interests are different, allowing your mind to grow in new and exciting ways. The problem is, they aren't going to be found at your usual stomping grounds. And, chances are, you're not going to find people of quality down at the bar.

So, here's what you should do. Make a list of the things you're interested in doing in life, but really haven't done. I would make those my first priority. Interested in pottery? Then take a class. Interested in getting into shape? Join a gym. Interested in getting another degree? Then go back to school. When you do those things, you're stepping beyond your comfort zone and forcing yourself to meet new and different people--rather than simply stick with the tired and the familiar.

Case in point? A long time ago, I was going to New Zealand with a friend/girlfriend of mine. Then, a few weeks shy of the actual trip, she backed out. Now, I could have been nervous about going because I would be traveling alone and not knowing anybody for four weeks. But I decided to make an adventure of it, and was determined to talk to people. I stayed in youth hostels, talked to people on airplanes, went on three-day hikes with people I'd known ten minutes, and had a BLAST. Yet, if I had gone with my girlfriend, chances are I would have spent most of my time talking to her or making sure she was happy. So I'm pretty glad I went by myself.
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Old 10-19-2008, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
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I would say that the gym is a good start. Not so you get in better shape but because when you exercise, you become happier and healthier and you show it when you walk into a room. If you are a size 16 but exercise, people find you attractive because of the self-confidence you let out! Exercise= endorphins=happiness!
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Old 10-19-2008, 05:21 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,376 posts, read 24,364,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Interested in getting another degree? Then go back to school. When you do those things, you're stepping beyond your comfort zone and forcing yourself to meet new and different people--rather than simply stick with the tired and the familiar.
LOL, you know, I recently returned to where I live now after going away for a couple of years to get another degree. When I returned everything was fresh, there was a new job, new faces, and familiar people all around me.

So I can't do that again so soon.

I'm just recovering from a back injury that has had me out of commission all summer. I've been out a couple of weekends now, to a variety of events like art openings, fund raisers, and casual get togethers, as well as the same old same old. But I've lost my momentum. Seemed like a year ago everything was fresh, and now, I'm not seeing anything that sparks me. Bleh. Where did all the cute men go?

So yes, I have to get up and actively seek out some healthy and fun activity that will allow me to re-engage and see new people and new opportunities. It's just hard to get moving.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal View Post
I would say that the gym is a good start. Not so you get in better shape but because when you exercise, you become happier and healthier and you show it when you walk into a room. If you are a size 16 but exercise, people find you attractive because of the self-confidence you let out! Exercise= endorphins=happiness!
You are so right. I have to get my blood flowing again. It's so hard to feel attractive when all I've done for months is a bunch of nothing.

And this will certainly get me out of my comfort zone. I'm sure it will be hysterical and slightly mortifying to go to a gym and exercise. I've never done that before!

Last edited by ellie; 10-19-2008 at 05:31 PM..
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