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Old 10-21-2008, 07:43 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,196 posts, read 17,740,824 times
Reputation: 13903

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum Mike View Post
I am a fair person and I will never give a girlfriend a reason to yell at me.

I also know that I would NEVER hit a woman, not matter how wrong she is, or what she did that would make somebody very angry. I've always believed that a man who hits a woman and abuses her physically, will be more in the wrong than she is. It is just wrong to hit a woman, plain and simple.

Verbal abuse is also wrong, and it's something I would never do to a woman, or anybody for that matter. I've never called any of the gals I dated in the past any names, including the one short-tempered redhead I had a couple of problems with.
I don't think raising your voice occassionally is necessarily the same thing as verbal abuse. I have never verbally abused my husband, nor has he done so to me. But have we gotten in arguements and yelled at each other? Yes, and I don't see anything horribly wrong with that. I also find it hard to believe that you are perfect and never done anything wrong in a relationship. No, it doesn't mean you deserve to be yelled at but people get angry, they yell, they calm down, they apologize. So what? Yelling itself is not a problem unless it's frequent. What you say when you yell is what determines whether it's verbal abuse.

I never mentioned anything about hitting or name calling. We might raise our voices sometimes at each other but neither of us would ever dream of hitting or even resorting to name calling.
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Old 10-21-2008, 10:30 AM
 
809 posts, read 2,876,311 times
Reputation: 497
I've been with my guy on and off for like 4 years. Got pretty serious almost 2 years ago and we moved in about that time together. well 4 months into living together he started acting weird and me being suspicious (cuz I'm female and I get those gut feelings) check his phone only to see he had been conversing with a certain OTHER female that he KNEW I despised (because he had slept with her in the past just to **** me off when we weren't together).......

I was appalled and hurt that he had talked to her (since he had PROMISED never to talk to her ever again) ..... well when I confronted him with it of course HE gets angry at me for looking at his phone (NOT A CRIME!) and doesn't even apologize for breaking his promise. He takes off (and I know hes going to meet up with her) so i call him and ASK him if he even still wants to be with me? (mind you everything had been FINE up until a week before when he started acting weird)..... he says NO. (CRUSHING!!! that hurt so bad!) SO I'm angry at him for being the one to initiate our serious relationship and make all kinds of promises to me only to go back on them........ so later that night I go over to a friends house (mutual friend of ours) to watch a UFC fight and LO and BEHOLD he is THERE with HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My blood has never boiled any hotter then when I saw them sitting together when JUST the night before he was holding ME! He won't talk to me, refuses to explain himself. So a friend of mine nonchalantly, in a joking way tells me I should go get laxatives and put them in their drink (They were sharing a bottle of Captain Morgans)........ well I think it's a GREAT idea at the time because I am so livid and not thinking logically (and this was just the last straw of him pissing me off with her)....... so we go and buy clear liquid laxative, dump into the bottle and WAIT .........

We watched as her jovial, bubbly manner turned into a sort of green faced, clutching the stomach manner. (it didn't hit him until later apparently)..... in the long run they never admitted whether or not they crapped their brains out, but I know for sure I wrecked their night of "fun"...........

He eventually found out, I was "kicked out" of the apartment we shared (i was planning on leaving anyways)..... I slept with his best friend to get back at him (STUPID ME)....... he found that out too.......... and then a month later we sat and almost literally talked for a month straight about what we'd done wrong, where we could have acted more mature, what needed to be fixed and to this day we are stronger then EVER. For the first year after that we both had trust issues, but those have passed. And now we look back and how stupid we acted and laugh (especially about the laxatives!)

And yes, i realize this all sounds childish, because it WAS. WHich is definitely one of the things we talked about. But seriously..... getting to dump laxatives into a cheatin partners alcohol when you KNOW they are guna try and go back home and sleep with that person and you just MESSED up their plans (not to mention made them have to crap like no other) was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY satisfying.... (I'd never really stood up to him in the past, and that time I did, FINALLY, albeit in a CHILDISH way..... dah well. It's in the past)
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:57 PM
 
71 posts, read 227,650 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by SubaruFiend View Post
I've been with my guy on and off for like 4 years. Got pretty serious almost 2 years ago and we moved in about that time together. well 4 months into living together he started acting weird and me being suspicious (cuz I'm female and I get those gut feelings) check his phone only to see he had been conversing with a certain OTHER female that he KNEW I despised (because he had slept with her in the past just to **** me off when we weren't together).......

I was appalled and hurt that he had talked to her (since he had PROMISED never to talk to her ever again) ..... well when I confronted him with it of course HE gets angry at me for looking at his phone (NOT A CRIME!) and doesn't even apologize for breaking his promise. He takes off (and I know hes going to meet up with her) so i call him and ASK him if he even still wants to be with me? (mind you everything had been FINE up until a week before when he started acting weird)..... he says NO. (CRUSHING!!! that hurt so bad!) SO I'm angry at him for being the one to initiate our serious relationship and make all kinds of promises to me only to go back on them........ so later that night I go over to a friends house (mutual friend of ours) to watch a UFC fight and LO and BEHOLD he is THERE with HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My blood has never boiled any hotter then when I saw them sitting together when JUST the night before he was holding ME! He won't talk to me, refuses to explain himself. So a friend of mine nonchalantly, in a joking way tells me I should go get laxatives and put them in their drink (They were sharing a bottle of Captain Morgans)........ well I think it's a GREAT idea at the time because I am so livid and not thinking logically (and this was just the last straw of him pissing me off with her)....... so we go and buy clear liquid laxative, dump into the bottle and WAIT .........

We watched as her jovial, bubbly manner turned into a sort of green faced, clutching the stomach manner. (it didn't hit him until later apparently)..... in the long run they never admitted whether or not they crapped their brains out, but I know for sure I wrecked their night of "fun"...........

He eventually found out, I was "kicked out" of the apartment we shared (i was planning on leaving anyways)..... I slept with his best friend to get back at him (STUPID ME)....... he found that out too.......... and then a month later we sat and almost literally talked for a month straight about what we'd done wrong, where we could have acted more mature, what needed to be fixed and to this day we are stronger then EVER. For the first year after that we both had trust issues, but those have passed. And now we look back and how stupid we acted and laugh (especially about the laxatives!)

And yes, i realize this all sounds childish, because it WAS. WHich is definitely one of the things we talked about. But seriously..... getting to dump laxatives into a cheatin partners alcohol when you KNOW they are guna try and go back home and sleep with that person and you just MESSED up their plans (not to mention made them have to crap like no other) was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY satisfying.... (I'd never really stood up to him in the past, and that time I did, FINALLY, albeit in a CHILDISH way..... dah well. It's in the past)
Wow after reading that I would have thought you guys
would have no chance of making it.Just goes to show you never really know do you.
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:06 PM
 
809 posts, read 2,876,311 times
Reputation: 497
Quote:
Originally Posted by timmy22 View Post
Wow after reading that I would have thought you guys
would have no chance of making it.Just goes to show you never really know do you.

Yep.... it was definitely a ROUGH month of talking it all out, lots of crying and "I'm sorry" (on both parts).... we both just acted really stupid. And we both came to terms with that and agreed never to act like that again.... Time really does heal though. It's been a year and a half since the laxative incident and we are going even STRONGER then ever. And NOW we're in a long distance relationship (he's in Denver I'm in Chicago)..... I plan on moving there in about three months.
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Old 10-23-2008, 04:56 AM
 
Location: New York
431 posts, read 1,306,740 times
Reputation: 205
I had a GF once who broke a lamp over my neck, hit me in the head with a tire iron and eventually got her face tore up by my then best friend/sometimes gf and now wife.

I've had some nasty fights with the wife. Screaming at the top of our lungs. Not in a long time though. One of those fights ended in a split for over a year. Hardest time of me life even though I'm the one who walked out. I think I slept an average of 3-4 hours a day for 5 months during that time. Actually I sleep 4-6 hours now, lol. She turned very cold on me around that time. It was surreal because we were so close. But now it's like it never happened. But I will never forget what happened and how I felt.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,635,613 times
Reputation: 3750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Livewire View Post
Ive never really fought, it was always more fun to just stand quietly, so patiently, and listen to them yell, get mad, get all worked up, raise their blood pressure, while I kept my cool, sometimes turning away to smile because watching them get all steamed up and get no reaction, that made them even madder, lol. Some people hate that!
Only one time did I let loose though, but that was regarding the safety of my kids that night.
Did you know you could get seriously hurt that way.
My husband likes to ignore me during arguments and sometimes I feel like I could smash his face in.

Last edited by asitshouldbe; 10-23-2008 at 05:51 AM..
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,635,613 times
Reputation: 3750
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum Mike View Post
For people who get worked up like that and yell, you can also calmly tell them: "I can hear you just fine, you don't have to yell". That's what I did whenever my 3rd girlfriend started yelling. She was a redhead and short-tempered, and I can remember a couple of times when simply walked away from her, or told her "You don't have to yell, I can hear you just fine".

I've never been in any real bad fights with any of the girlfriends I dated in the past, one reason is, with the exception of the redhead I knew in the past, we never gave each other a reason to start a fight. I can remember just 3 or 4 very minor things, that definitely weren't worth arguing or fighting over, and that's about it.
Did you have to mention the hair color? Its not like redheads have a reputation. That is just a rumor.
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Old 10-23-2008, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,351,989 times
Reputation: 2979
I think I already told this story

The kids and I were in the front yard one day and my middle son was sitting on his KX85 and my wife walks out and tells him to get off and she swings a leg over and says ok how do I ride it so my son holds in the clutch and kicks it into gear, I don't say anything because I figure hes going to talk her through it but he tells her to give it some gas and she does and then he just lets go of the clutch. The bike takes off like a rocket and she flies into the van. Not thinking I run over to look at the bike and after she gets up crying she storms into the house. I have an immediate cartoon vision of an ambulance pulling up and two guys carting the motorcycle off on a stretcher and I know I've screwed up so I go in to try and make up and see if shes ok. I think she spoke to me 2 days later.
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