Help me!!! (attractiveness, wedding, abusive, handsome)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I feel this is the best advise I have found so far. I will get myself in counselling and after the holidays, I will try a separation. As far as the work guy, I will not act on my feelings at this time. My girls are 9 and 7 and I am positve they feel the strain that is probably why they are so on edge when we are all home togethter. When it is just me with them the never fight with eachother or answer me back. They seem clam and at ease. Same as when It's just them and their dad, but as soon as we are all together--watch out
I don't want to make you feel any further guilt. Instead of just giving up I was desperatly trying to point out you cannot only make yourself better but possibly get y9our husband to be more attractive in your eyes too, with some slight tweeking.
As for the effect of on the children? Well we'd like to pass the role model thing off on the Derrick Jeters of the world but here's the truth..WE ARE THEIR ROLE MODELS.
I've never been more wracked with guilt than when my daughter first shared...
She was just 15, she watched her mom blatently cheat on her husband.
She finally opened up one day at a meeting and explained that she was feeling bad because although her best friend had always treated her good, she had had an affair with her boyfriend, and was feeling really guilty because the friend forgave her."Why do me and my mom hurt people who only want to love us?
I hope you never have to hear that from one of your little girls. Good luck
My daughter was 11. My wife was one of those "she's not going to date till she's thirty", "she's going to be a nun", it's awful hard to get that if you let your daughter do whatever she wants after the breakup so long as she remains loyal to you. She's been raising herself since 11, when her mom wasn't trying to pass her off on a sister, friends, or rehabs. And then going into court and saying things like "as a maother.." the judge stopped her, a female judge btw and said "what mother? you never know where she is until the police call!"
I was never so happy as when my daughter got a female parole officer who saw through my wife instantly. Before that she had a male who ate my wifes ohh me, ohh my stories up, I even suspected an affair, my wife has that princess diana sidesways glance eyes slightly raised, little quiver down pat around guys. the guy would ignore everything and used the tag lline, "she's doing everything she can", that all changed the minute my daughter got a female, the woman works with me constantly and has confided in me she thinks my wife is just plain evil. And she cannot understand how I can remain so calm and never say anything in court, even when the accusations start flying. I figure why fight back, give her enough rope she always wins for me. If your in an arguement and you refuse to raise your voice or even get angry,,,the other person starts looking like a jerk even if some of their points are right, the observers don't even listen anymore to the agressor.And if the agressor is used to getting the other to blow up, they just keep trying harder and harder figuring they'll break them. If you watch poker on tv you know whose really getting good at not blowin up? mike the mouth matasow! And a guy who was considered a jerk by the general veiwing public is now becoming a beloved poker icon, in just about two years! And the courts are trained to look for stuff like that. I wish I could go back in time and drill that into a young hot head. I win in court with her all the time now because I don't fight.
She used to show up, start acting like I said something to her, get bailifs and cops around her "protecting her, and me all frustrated on my heels all defensive. Then I started going Wayyyy early, grabbing an officer,explaining this tactic and having them watch. End result? The cop caught her doing it. The cops down there now can't stand her! And are on a first name basis with me. And if you don't think they don't tell the judge about this stuff at like lunch after court...ROFLMAO.
But it's pretty sad. I cannot fix her, or change her opinion of me, I can only keep doing what I do to improve myself, and hope things calm down one day to the point we can talk and only appologize for my part in it. Might be 30 years from now..but I'm willing if god lets me.
How is your daughter doing now? Any advice on how to make this as easy as posible on my girls. I will remain mature about it and not belittle my husband around them or use them to hurt him, but I have no control over how he handles it. He has a history of saying things to me in front of the girls that should not be said
But it's pretty sad. I cannot fix her, or change her opinion of me, I can only keep doing what I do to improve myself, and hope things calm down one day to the point we can talk and only appologize for my part in it. Might be 30 years from now..but I'm willing if god lets me.
Going to court usually shakes me up pretty good. I only had to go because I needed a restraining order for a short time. Luckily, child issues never reached a court room. Reading about your story makes me count my blessings. My ex and I really love our kids very much and are truly keeping them out of everything. It hasn't been easy on them, but we appear so 'happy' around them even when we're together which is almost every day that I think the kids will eventually recover.
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. I hope you stay strong and keep the faith.
My daughters a typical 16 yr old whose gone through what she's gone through. She's in her hate mom phase. Likes to rub it in moms face how happy she is with me, which is not true. Likes to mention how much she likes this new girlfriend to watch mom explode. But I better not say anything bad about mom, only she can. Loves the attention any new girlfriend gives her, realizing they'll give in to her very easily to impress me, which I don't find impressive at all.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.