Help me!!! (Christian, respect, remarried, school)
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I am not trying to get anything from him. I am far from a selfish pig. I just dont see the point in staying and all of us being miserable. I am not a golddigger. I will let him have it all. If I was selfish I would have left a long time ago. I am trying to save everyones feellings
She was going to leave the kids with me and move into an apartment too. Then she got a lawyer and my lawyer said I've never seen anybody demand that the husband carry a $1,000,000. life insurance policy??? "That only says one thing, she hopes you die!"
She was going to leave the kids with me and move into an apartment too. Then she got a lawyer and my lawyer said I've never seen anybody demand that the husband carry a $1,000,000. life insurance policy??? "That only says one thing, she hopes you die!"
I've been through exactly this. Except she kinda led me to believe there was always a chance. According to you there isn't, so cut the ropes.
She told me she was going to try and we had a great last weekend. My daughter had a mom and her friend at the bus stop so I thought I'd surprisedly join her for coffee that monday. I was two stops behind her, she was meeting him. She got out of her car and ran up and tthey embraced and they kissed. Later that day she emailed me to tell me how committed she was to trying. DON'T DO THIS TO HIM, PLEASE!
And when finally confronted about that a week later? I was stalking her. We always used to meet for coffee at the conveinance shop just before her work. When I did admitadly watch her after that? I noticed a lot of things she had set up years ago to have her affairs. She always told me that her work didn't want family around. Like hanging out for them in the lobby. I noticed he marched right into her work 15 minutes early everyday and hung out in the lobby, something her husband was told not to do fifteen years ago. Then I realized my wife was quite practiced at this. Later on I found out from a male friend who witnessed the initial encounter that she was the one who went after him. Something she always painted exctly the opposite. He was some interfeering home wrecker in my eyes. A perception she put in my head. She's tired of him, BTW. Now all she does is rip him apart, behind his back. History repeats itself. And all our old friends finally realize it wasn't me being a total ogre.
That's what I fear your going to become. You'll stay with him for finacially reasons and become her, waiting to ladder climb. Because the REAL thrill is in the cheating! And it becomes so much easier to get partners out of sympathy so pretty soon your making up stuff about him, while right now its all your libido's fault.Why lose everything until something better comes along. And I sense you're on the virge of doing this.
so can you help me put a plan into action to help things go as smoothly as possible. Any adivise from anyone who has been through this
MS., you know, I thought about this during my pedicure - and actually, I am pretty annoyed right about now...I thought about my own circumstances when I was married and why I needed out - VS - yours.
Leave your situation that's "OH-SO BAD." Poor little woman. I really think you are in the absolute wrong for the reasons you want to leave. You are very selfish. You have a man at home who was willing to have fat sex with you and you want to leave for hormonal reasons because your waistline shrunk. You remind me of a 16 year old girl. I think it's mighty cheap of you, personally. I left my husband because he was extremely controlling, verbally abusive, he fought a Cocaine addiction for 20 years, never quite staying sober for long - and I was sick of bailing his azz out when he got DUI's or drug related charges AND I did a prison sentence with him - NOT WITH HIM - as in, I STOOD BY HIM loyally...(which I have omitted from CD conversation until now because I was so fricken' ashamed), AND he couldn't even make it to our daughter's wake or funeral because he was too busy being stupid locked up (our daughter, our son's twin sister). I could have easily stayed for the stability of all his businesses and a big home, and the fluff - I had VALID reason to leave him - I was TRULY miserable and iin *constant* denial. You haven't even got a clue what true misery is. Nada. I hope you leave him and get so arrogant one day that your pounds come back and when you go crawling back to him crying and BEGGING him to take you back, he says NO and waltzes into the sunset with his size 5 girlfriend hand in hand. He deserves better than what you are doing to him.
Congrats, you squeezed THEE most beotchy post out of me in all of my CD history, MS.
I hope this thread goes to pages 2, 3, 4 soon.
Last edited by JeepGirl118; 10-24-2008 at 04:29 PM..
Reason: Mad-Typos. Wanted to clarify that I stood by him, did not serve time with him! Clean record here!!! =)
I am not trying to get anything from him. I am far from a selfish pig. I just dont see the point in staying and all of us being miserable. I am not a golddigger. I will let him have it all. If I was selfish I would have left a long time ago. I am trying to save everyones feellings
You are entirely wrong here, you have two kids to THINK ABOUT...Your the only one miserable and making the rest miserable to. Did you ever hear of that saying If Mama Ain't Happy Not No One Is Happy.. It is so true. You keep saying that your not a gold digger and that you will let him have it all. You will have two little months to feed and support. So you are entitled to what is yours and your husband is a decent husband he will provide for them. Stop with the attitude that you don't want anything. He may fight you on custody, do you want that?
Is your mom still alive? an older woman whom you respect and can go for guidance ? Like many mentioned here you need a financial plan end of story. Think of those children for Gods sakes.. Your not thinking rationally. Wake up! Think this through and get help for your like a mouse in a cage. Going round and round and you can't get out of your own way.
Ok So I told him this morining that I want a divorce. He really was not surprized. Which is understandalbe with all the tension here. He is going to start looking for his own place and so will I. He asked if I would be willing to go to councling with him, just a last restort. I agreed, but told him that with the way I am feeling, I dont think it will change anything. He says he understands but, at least going to talk to a therepist will make him feel like we tried. He also asked it we can wait a few months before actually filing for the divorce. I agreed. I hope I did the right thing agreeing to all this. I dont want to lead him on but if I makes it easier for him to deal with it this way, then i will do it. We also decided not to tell the kids, until we have our new places to move into. What's all your opinions on this.
Ok So I told him this morining that I want a divorce. He really was not surprized. Which is understandalbe with all the tension here. He is going to start looking for his own place and so will I. He asked if I would be willing to go to councling with him, just a last restort. I agreed, but told him that with the way I am feeling, I dont think it will change anything. He says he understands but, at least going to talk to a therepist will make him feel like we tried. He also asked it we can wait a few months before actually filing for the divorce. I agreed. I hope I did the right thing agreeing to all this. I dont want to lead him on but if I makes it easier for him to deal with it this way, then i will do it. We also decided not to tell the kids, until we have our new places to move into. What's all your opinions on this.
You already know it's not going to work? That sounds like a good way to go into counseling. I've just scanned this thread a little and it sounds like what I went through in my divorce after 19 3/4 years. She wasn't happy. She went from "Dick and Jane's" daughter, to "Joe's" wife, to "Junior's" mom. She was never just "her".After a few years of arguing about it we realized how bad what we were doing was hurting our son, so I moved out. Want to kow why she wouldn't go to counseling? "It cost too much". I don't think there is too high an amount to try to get things out in the open and really get some help talking about it. But, as usual, the lady is the one who always gets what she wants.
I know that the way things have been in our house lately has not been good for my girls. I have had no patience or no motviation to do anything with them because I am so unhappy and so preocuppied. I hope I am doing the right thing by going to the counsiling with him. I just dont want to give him false hope. How did your children handle the divorce?
Come on everyone, dont give up now. I am really going to need some advice throughout this.
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