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I am in love with a married man for almost 2 years now. We used to work at the same workplace and because I knew I was starting to have feelings for him and knew that he was married, I moved quickly to another company to avoid being in that situation. I tried to be his friend only in the beginning and told him repeatedly that it would be best for him to work out his marriage and resolve any issues they had. His reasoning was that he was in a "loveless marriage held together by two kids." I tried and tried to tell him that it would be best for the both of us if he only pursue a relationship with me after he is really single. However through time, I really started to develop feelings for him and really wanted to help him and we started seeing each other on a regular basis.
Through the entire relationship, there were many issues with trust and jealousy. He couldn't trust me and I couldn't trust him. For a period of 3 months during this 2 year span, his wife had decided to leave with the kids. During this time, he expected me to move in practically but I was not ready for it. I have always be very conservative and extremely reserved with my feelings. I wanted to wait and see how things progress before I jump in with both feet. After the three month period without discussing it with me, he announced that his wife was coming back with the kids, one week before Christmas. I was completely devastated.
He explained to me that he wanted them back because of the kids and that I wasn't giving him what he needed because he wasn't just looking for a girlfriend but a wife. I kept trying for the next 10 months to give him what he needed on the sidelines. I was not allowed to call and he can only call him. I waited for him to call all the time. By this time, I have completely isolated myself from my friends and family and felt more and more insecure everyday. At the same time, I am going through a lot of changes in my life as well. I felt that he didn't love me anymore because he took his wife back but I kept trying and trying. Nothing I did seemed good enough and we were constantly arguing.
Finally, months and months of agony of feelings of insecurity, isolation, and loneliness, I broke down emotionally and mentally and did something I really regret - vandalizing his car. He decided that he never wants to be with me again.
I don't know how to feel better and I feel like I have lost myself. I am so ashamed of everything and I don't know where to begin to find myself again. Please help me. I feel so alone with my thoughts and sadness. I really believe and still do that he is my soulmate and that I have really messed up things. He says that he needs time to heal before he can talk to me again.
I still have hope and don't know how to move on. I haven't been able to sleep or eat or work. I can't bear to face myself. Please shed some light on my situation.
Don't live in the past, you can't change it. All you can do is be in the present and work on yourself. Keep busy, exercise, therapy may be a good idea and could help. Chalk this up to a learning process...don't get involved with an unavailable man. It really is just heartache for everyone involved.
And his car, oh well. (but really, don't do that again)
He is not worth it. You should really not get involved with married men in the first place, but you deserve someone who is available to be with you, not someone who is only available when he wants to be.
I think cheating men are very lowly creatures indeed and wonder what woman would want one willing to do that, and why.
Let him go. If he was your soulmate, you'd be together right now, not posting on some intenet forum about your broken heart.
Find someone else. Someone who is not married. And don't beat yourself up over it, just move on. What is done is done. It is better this way. You would never want to stand in front of his kids and say, "I was part of the reason your dad left your mom" would you? This way you get to start all over with someone new.
Don't live in the past, you can't change it. All you can do is be in the present and work on yourself. Keep busy, exercise, therapy may be a good idea and could help. Chalk this up to a learning process...don't get involved with an unavailable man. It really is just heartache for everyone involved.
aww you poor tiny little thing let the friends of the forum comfort you in their cyber arms. Let them sing Kumbaya to you in their soothing cyber-tronic voices.
Why would you vandalize HIS car when you are sleeping with a married man??? You should be glad his WIFE didn't do worse to you...I'd be a bit more humble if I were you.
Maybe she has bipolar or autism...let's be concerned and caring for those that are out of control.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
Why would you vandalize HIS car when you are sleeping with a married man??? You should be glad his WIFE didn't do worse to you...I'd be a bit more humble if I were you.
Maybe she has bipolar or autism...let's be concerned and caring for those that are out of control.
I guess...I just cannot believe this person is upset he will not talk to her because she vandalized his car because he decided to stay with his wife and kids Good grief
She should be glad no charges were pressed or a crazy wife did not come after her with the wrath of God
I guess...I just cannot believe this person is upset he will not talk to her because she vandalized his car because he decided to stay with his wife and kids Good grief
She should be glad no charges were pressed or a crazy wife did not come after her with the wrath of God
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