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Old 10-21-2008, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Boston
3 posts, read 3,195 times
Reputation: 10

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I'm perplexed. For once, I've met a guy that's great and funny and cute and smart and has a great career. The only thing is, he's simply weird. (Or so I think.)

He's a salesman of sorts, and he just switched companies. So, for the past two months he's been traveling on and off for orientations, retreats, etc. When he's home, he makes time to see me and has never said "no" to my requests for dinners, etc. - but it's always ME asking for them now (compared to before, when we were dating, when it was always him making the plans.) When he's home, it's great.

My problem: When he's away, he doesn't call. He doesn't text. He doesn't do anything. He takes a day or so to unwind afterward, and then typically sends me a text. But, I usually call him on the day I know he's supposed to return to see how he is, because really, I missed him. And that's the only time I try to contact him - when I know he's home. That's it.

When he's home, he tells me he missed me. He tells me I make great dinners. He laughs with me and cuddles me. He's sweet and affectionate.

When he's away, he falls off the face of the earth. Right now it's Monday, about 5 p.m. The last time I talked to him was Friday at 7 a.m. when he left my place to go D.C. for work. No calls. No texts.

The last time this happened (two weeks ago), I asked him if he would call me more because I just want to know if everything is OK. I said, "I don't need an epic phone call... I just want to know." He thought that was cute, and said, "Yes, I'm sorry. I should have done that. I'm glad you said that - that's a good thing." He said he got wrapped up in meeting the new bosses and all that. I thought it was a positive step forward.

Until the next time it happened... which is now. I don't get it. Does anyone have any insight for me?
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:17 PM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,410,134 times
Reputation: 6709
Maybe he has another lifestyle or person in his life
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,250 posts, read 6,696,102 times
Reputation: 5924
This reminds me of that one movie with Goldie Hawn - um, "Deceived" - where her Husband has two lives, two families. . .
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:22 PM
 
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker;)
4,085 posts, read 8,578,152 times
Reputation: 1859
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Maybe he has another lifestyle or person in his life
For once, I agree with artsyguy. I thought that'd never happen! Sounds super shady. Time for some sleuthing, I'd say. Of course, there is also the possibility that everything's kosher, and he's just not that into you, that he's in the relationship because it's convenient. Have you only been seeing each other for two months or has it been longer than that?
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,857,697 times
Reputation: 22812
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklingblues824 View Post
I'm perplexed. For once, I've met a guy that's great and funny and cute and smart and has a great career. The only thing is, he's simply weird. (Or so I think.)
You've just answered your own question.
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Boston
3 posts, read 3,195 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstoner View Post
For once, I agree with artsyguy. I thought that'd never happen! Sounds super shady. Time for some sleuthing, I'd say. Of course, there is also the possibility that everything's kosher, and he's just not that into you, that he's in the relationship because it's convenient. Have you only been seeing each other for two months or has it been longer than that?
We met in May and made things exclusive in August - after HE starting calling me his girlfriend in front of other people at parties and gatherings. So, it's been almost six months now, which is why it's odd. I've never had any doubt that he liked me, but maybe I'm just naive?
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,237 posts, read 25,509,087 times
Reputation: 12417
Ummmmm yeah .... I don't think this guy is a salesman. I think he's a mob hitman and he can't really be on the phone talking to you or texting you while he's in the middle of dismembering a body so it will fit in trash bags. Simple, but sad fact of life. If you're in the middle of a murder you can't just drop everything to yap on the phone!
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Boston
3 posts, read 3,195 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Ummmmm yeah .... I don't think this guy is a salesman. I think he's a mob hitman and he can't really be on the phone talking to you or texting you while he's in the middle of dismembering a body so it will fit in trash bags. Simple, but sad fact of life. If you're in the middle of a murder you can't just drop everything to yap on the phone!
As amazingly disturbing as that would be, that would actually be a relief - take some weight off my "I'm too much of a chick, why doesn't he like me?" shoulders.
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,237 posts, read 25,509,087 times
Reputation: 12417
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklingblues824 View Post
As amazingly disturbing as that would be, that would actually be a relief - take some weight off my "I'm too much of a chick, why doesn't he like me?" shoulders.
Yeah, I hear ya. Just be thankful he's not out killing people you know!
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:04 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
7,140 posts, read 12,315,842 times
Reputation: 6462
It sounds like he's got something else going on. Someone else.

If that's not the case, do you really want to be in a relationship where communication is cut off every time he's out out of sight? Doesn't sound like a happy existence to me.

Start shopping for someone new. If things don't pan out with Mr. Mysterious, you'll already have Mr. Plan B lined up to distract you.
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