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Old 10-22-2008, 01:34 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
7,087 posts, read 8,583,826 times
Reputation: 9978

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Hmm, yeah it's not usually that hard to figure out if someone isn't into you. I take a hint pretty well. But then again, it can be difficult in rare cases. I mean I have this friend, she's gorgeous, a model, I've known her since I was 19 I think, in college, and we're just friends. Sometimes, I assume because she doesn't call me back or doesn't seem to hang out that often when I'm in town, she would just as soon not have me as a friend. But then she'll call me out of the blue and say how she misses me or send me a message and say she wants to hang out, etc. It's just because she's the flakiest person I've ever known. I guess everyone has to have a flaw. I mean besides that in my opinion she's the perfect girl -- gorgeous, intelligent, atheist, doesn't want kids. If I made myself a perfect girl, it would be her, only without the flakiness. I don't hit on her, because she's a friend, and I value her friendship anyway, I've seen 3-4 guys come and go, I'm still around.

With super flakey girls it can be tough to "get the hint," because sometimes it's not a hint, sometimes it's just her being flakey. In the case I'm talking about, it's just friendship. Even though I sound like I think she's the perfect girl, it's not that simple, I'm over that crush, she's just a friend
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:24 AM
 
Location: in purgurtory in London
3,722 posts, read 4,286,595 times
Reputation: 1292
I always wonder why I keep getting restraining orders to stay away. The least they could do is respond to my emails and vials of blood I send.
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Old 10-22-2008, 08:09 AM
 
3,490 posts, read 8,198,673 times
Reputation: 3971
Yes, and it's awful. If you have actually dated them then the only thing that works is no contact at all. Otherwise the message just doesn't get through. The 'being friends' thing just doesn't cut it.

I just thought of another one. A guy who I met at a party in college, but I ended up dating a friend of his for a few months. I knew he liked me, but there was just no physical attraction at all, plus he moaned that the better man had won with me which made him sound weak and lacking in confidence, neither of which are attractive. I got annonymous valentines cards for years - eventually someone told me they were from him. I did feel bad, but not SO bad, because I never led him on for one second. It was all his idea and none of mine.

The exes are a whole different ball game, and I still feel a bit guilty about a couple of them to this day. But you can't marry someone out of sympathy. It just doesn't work that way IMHO.
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Old 10-22-2008, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
7,087 posts, read 8,583,826 times
Reputation: 9978
You can't marry someone out of sympathy?! Uhh, ok, this is awkward and not to thread-jack, but do you know what the annulment laws in the state of California are?

Haha, just joking.

I've never acted that way about a girl, I mean if she doesn't like me I don't really like her either, haha, that's how I am. I'm quick to be vengeful and if a girl doesn't like me I usually just think it's her loss, I mean after all it's not the end of the world, there are lots of girls out there and I'm not too attached to any one of them I meet.

He admitted the other guy was the better man?! That's hilarious. I wouldn't admit that of anyone, almost. Ok if you managed to score a date with Brad Pitt instead of me, honestly all I could do is high five you and be like dang you rock. I can't compete with that!
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Old 10-22-2008, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,349,515 times
Reputation: 2979
Its weird how I can appreciate a women so much as a friend regardless of looks but when I've been put in that position in the distant past I remember feeling so repulsed I would generally freeze. I always wondered why they would even think I might want that.
I've never actually come out and said it but I always thought, you've seen who I go out with. Too bad it kills friendships.
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,839 posts, read 30,065,940 times
Reputation: 19011
Quote:
Originally Posted by spikeboy25 View Post
I posted a thread not so long ago about a situation I was in concerning unrequited love with a close friend. When unrequited love is discussed, it is often spoken from the perspective of the person who is in love and not having their feelings reciprocated. I want to know the other side of this type of love.

Can anybody tell me if they have had to reject someone close to them who was in love with them and if they felt any serious guilt about not being in love with that person when they knew it would hurt them?
Yes, I did, and felt severe guilt...for a long time...awful situation to be in...but, also made me realize how important it is, to be aware enough to know, the significance of dating someone who has something in common with your thoughts, beliefs, morals, creativity, faith, etc. In my case, I just lost interest I was always, looking for something more intellectually, and didn't know it at the time...it isn't always about chemistry...yanno?
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:26 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,194 posts, read 17,729,493 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spikeboy25 View Post
Can anybody tell me if they have had to reject someone close to them who was in love with them and if they felt any serious guilt about not being in love with that person when they knew it would hurt them?
Yes, in high school, one of my best friends was a guy and he made it clear from the day we met that he had a crush on me. As our friendship went on, he fell in love with me. I just never felt that way about him and I made that clear to him. After high school, there was an incident that made me realize our friendship was not healthy for him, he could never get over me if we remained friends (we'd been friends for about 4 years with no signs of his feelings changing). So I had to tell him we could no longer be friends, he couldn't call me or see me anymore, etc. It broke his heart but I know it was the best thing I could do for him since I knew I'd never reciprocate his feelings.

Did I feel guilty? Not really and I don't think that makes me coldhearted. I did feel sympathy for him and I hated to lose a friend I cared about. It made me very sad to cut him out of my life but feeling guilty would imply that I had done something wrong, which I knew I hadn't. It's not my fault I never developed feelings for him, I can't control who I feel what for. Neither could he, which is why it was just a very sad, unfortunate situation.
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Mid Missouri (Miz-oo-ree)
625 posts, read 1,580,082 times
Reputation: 721
Default Only once

I had a friend who was 1 year older than me; she was my good friend from age 15 on for about 20 years. She was so pretty, and had a body that would stop traffic, literally people would stare at her wherever she went. She was very strong and well planted. But after twenty years or so I finally had to push her away. I needed more, someone mature and settled. It was very hard. I still think about her along. I never was able to ask her how she felt about it. I heard that she ended up with a good man who took good care of her and made her even better and stronger than before. Only thing that did bother me when I heard about it was the fact that he painted her purple. Ruined that beautiful White with a red stripe paint job. I Still have her heart (I pulled the hipo 289 out). She used to turn the 1/4 in low 11's in street trim. Good car, brought some good cash...........what.....a woman, nah I would never do that to a woman..sheeze
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:52 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,832,515 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyC64 View Post
I had a friend who was 1 year older than me; she was my good friend from age 15 on for about 20 years. She was so pretty, and had a body that would stop traffic, literally people would stare at her wherever she went. She was very strong and well planted. But after twenty years or so I finally had to push her away. I needed more, someone mature and settled. It was very hard. I still think about her along. I never was able to ask her how she felt about it. I heard that she ended up with a good man who took good care of her and made her even better and stronger than before. Only thing that did bother me when I heard about it was the fact that he painted her purple. Ruined that beautiful White with a red stripe paint job. I Still have her heart (I pulled the hipo 289 out). She used to turn the 1/4 in low 11's in street trim. Good car, brought some good cash...........what.....a woman, nah I would never do that to a woman..sheeze

LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You had me going for a long time. This was awesome. +1.
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:57 AM
 
6,565 posts, read 14,247,424 times
Reputation: 3229
Well, in order to make it all work, the un-loved one needs to believe that relationship "code words" are in fact that....

What I mean is: "I like you as a friend" REALLY means that and it isn't saying that right now it's just friendship and it could grow into something. No, it REALLY means that you're a friend and they aren't interested in anything more!!!

Boy I tell ya I had to wrap myself in an electrical fence to keep the flocks of women away at times, but they're like flies attracted to one of those bug zappers....

It's really quite scary!!! BZZZZZZZZZZT, ZZZZZZZZZZAPPPP, POP!!!!, POW!!!!

Electrocuted women piled at my feet.....

I figured it out though..... I stopped showering....
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