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Old 10-24-2008, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,506,167 times
Reputation: 11081

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Why do some people feel SO threatened when someone expresses an opinion that differs radically from theirs? If it's my belief, I'm not going to deny my belief...and I'd be happy to find people that AGREED with my belief...but if you don't agree with someone's opinion or belief, is there any reason to ATTACK them personally?

If they try to pass off opinion, or personal experience, as fact, that's understandable--you want to illustrate that it is NOT fact, but merely opinion. No, no...there's still no reason to attack the person instead of the idea.

Also, I have no power to force or coerce others to share my belief. Realistically, no one has the power to do the same to me. If the "belief" becomes law, I still have the option to disobey the law. There are beliefs I have that I would be willing to die for. So there is no coercive power, where beliefs are concerned.

So the question is: why do some people feel so threatened by opinions?
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,579,213 times
Reputation: 24104
Opinions are like a$$holes...everybody has one.I think sometimes in certain circumstances, the "truth" hurts. Its not something that they are wanting to hear, so they will develop this chip on their shoulder, and become defensive.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:45 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,849 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52310
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
Why do some people feel SO threatened when someone expresses an opinion that differs radically from theirs? If it's my belief, I'm not going to deny my belief...and I'd be happy to find people that AGREED with my belief...but if you don't agree with someone's opinion or belief, is there any reason to ATTACK them personally?

If they try to pass off opinion, or personal experience, as fact, that's understandable--you want to illustrate that it is NOT fact, but merely opinion. No, no...there's still no reason to attack the person instead of the idea.

Also, I have no power to force or coerce others to share my belief. Realistically, no one has the power to do the same to me. If the "belief" becomes law, I still have the option to disobey the law. There are beliefs I have that I would be willing to die for. So there is no coercive power, where beliefs are concerned.

So the question is: why do some people feel so threatened by opinions?
I'm not a head shrinker, but I think what happens is that people on a subconscious level associate their thoughts and opinions with their sense of "self", so what happens is when you contradict their opinions your are "attacking" them.

Kind of sad really
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Old 10-24-2008, 07:19 PM
 
809 posts, read 2,876,030 times
Reputation: 497
some people just lack the maturity or the knowledge to NOT be defensive when it comes to opinions. Or perhaps they've had something in their past that just made them that way........

I know for a long time I hated peoples opinions and I tried to conform to society a lot..... but not anymore. I LIKE constructive criticism..... I can tolerate opinions unless they are directed at me in a hateful way..... if there is some sort of threat involved THEN I'll react usually.... but for the most part I don't give a crap what people think of me.......
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:45 PM
 
Location: NJ/SC
4,343 posts, read 14,736,360 times
Reputation: 2729
Good question. I have had problems with this also, so I tend to keep my opinions to myself more then I would like. It seems like everytime I have an opinion and the person I'm talking to opposes it they need to send me emails every day after that proving they are right. What they don't get is, it's just an opinion and everyone has a right to one.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:17 PM
 
Location: USA
11,169 posts, read 10,624,903 times
Reputation: 6381
I find people's opinions and refute a challenge, often amusing, makes me think. . . I love to figure things out and I know a time will come where the tables will turn and it'll be my turn. No two people have experienced and seen the same things in life and you have to expect whatever knowledge that person has obtained/attained to be provided/offered. I believe too many put a "cap" on how much they are willing to expand their mind. Oftentimes, no one way is the right way.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:30 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
2,807 posts, read 7,552,809 times
Reputation: 3294
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Opinions are like a$$holes...everybody has one.I think sometimes in certain circumstances, the "truth" hurts. Its not something that they are wanting to hear, so they will develop this chip on their shoulder, and become defensive.
I love that line!!!
What ever happened to a good, old-fashioned debate??? People get their britches all in a bundle when they should be enjoying the variety of other viewpoints. I love it when discussions get going and people express different opinions...sometimes it makes me see things in a different light, which is great. My views have changed drastically in the last 10 years...we are supposed to be on a path of growth and enlightenment, not stagnation!!!
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
7,087 posts, read 8,586,420 times
Reputation: 9978
I think it's human nature a lot of the time to feel threatened by people's opinions. I would say usually other people's opinions aren't threatening to you, but sometimes, they can be. I mean honestly if someone is a socialist, their opinions are threatening to me -- they want to vote to take away my money and have someone else choose how to spend it. That's extremely threatening to my personal freedoms. But I majored in philosophy, and we scored no points for personally attacking anyone else, that's ad hominem attacks, so you need to attack the opinion not the person who holds it.

One thing I think happens very commonly, especially on forums though [people are nicer in person, including myself -- I'm the ultimate diplomat in person, I have to be, whether it's assisting a class as a black belt or directing a film shoot, I need the respect of the people who I'm leading, but on a forum I'm less concerned with what people think as it's not going to affect my life, really], is people have their opinion attacked, then they take that personally and attack the other person back. It's one reason people FEEL like you attacked them, when you actually didn't, so they attack you back. In other words, if you say you're a die-hard Christian who thinks the Bible's values should be made into law, and I respond by saying that's the stupidest idea imaginable because our democracy is founded on a separation of church and state, and your values should not be forced upon other people, then the person often thinks I just attacked them. But if they read what I wrote, I never attacked them, I attacked their ideas. People are very attached to their ideas and opinions, however, sometimes inseparably so, and to attack their idea is to attack them, in their mind, so they respond in kind, "You're a godless heathen who has no idea how to treat others well or live a good life! It's people like you who make this country immoral and bad!" Whoa whoa whoa, hey, that's not attacking an idea! A proper response would be, "I believe that church and state can be separated, but the values in the Bible are not religious values only, rather they are humanist values that we can all embrace, and that's why I think they should become law because they are founded on the way people interact with one another and basic values of human decency." I would disagree with that, but it's a reasonable, more rational response, addressing the conversation at hand rather than lashing out at the person.

I find 9 times out of 10, on this forum especially, people attack you, not your opinions. I've been attacked on here already more times than I can count. But it doesn't bother me in the slightest, because you've lost the argument once you attack the person rather than the idea. You've stooped to such a low level, you've implicitly admitted, "I couldn't find a good way to refute what you just said, so I'm going to try to assassinate your character and then hope nobody notices, so if I'm lucky everyone will think you're a jerk and nobody will take your opinions seriously." But the great thing about ideas, as V says in V for Vendetta, is ideas are bulletproof! You can assassinate my character but my ideas are present in numerous other people, so you cannot defeat an idea by assassinating an individual or his character.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,719,542 times
Reputation: 8575
Very good well-written, thoughtful post, Jonathan.
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:34 PM
 
Location: USA
11,169 posts, read 10,624,903 times
Reputation: 6381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB View Post
I think it's human nature a lot of the time to feel threatened by people's opinions. I would say usually other people's opinions aren't threatening to you, but sometimes, they can be. I mean honestly if someone is a socialist, their opinions are threatening to me -- they want to vote to take away my money and have someone else choose how to spend it. That's extremely threatening to my personal freedoms. But I majored in philosophy, and we scored no points for personally attacking anyone else, that's ad hominem attacks, so you need to attack the opinion not the person who holds it.

One thing I think happens very commonly, especially on forums though [people are nicer in person, including myself -- I'm the ultimate diplomat in person, I have to be, whether it's assisting a class as a black belt or directing a film shoot, I need the respect of the people who I'm leading, but on a forum I'm less concerned with what people think as it's not going to affect my life, really], is people have their opinion attacked, then they take that personally and attack the other person back. It's one reason people FEEL like you attacked them, when you actually didn't, so they attack you back. In other words, if you say you're a die-hard Christian who thinks the Bible's values should be made into law, and I respond by saying that's the stupidest idea imaginable because our democracy is founded on a separation of church and state, and your values should not be forced upon other people, then the person often thinks I just attacked them. But if they read what I wrote, I never attacked them, I attacked their ideas. People are very attached to their ideas and opinions, however, sometimes inseparably so, and to attack their idea is to attack them, in their mind, so they respond in kind, "You're a godless heathen who has no idea how to treat others well or live a good life! It's people like you who make this country immoral and bad!" Whoa whoa whoa, hey, that's not attacking an idea! A proper response would be, "I believe that church and state can be separated, but the values in the Bible are not religious values only, rather they are humanist values that we can all embrace, and that's why I think they should become law because they are founded on the way people interact with one another and basic values of human decency." I would disagree with that, but it's a reasonable, more rational response, addressing the conversation at hand rather than lashing out at the person.

I find 9 times out of 10, on this forum especially, people attack you, not your opinions. I've been attacked on here already more times than I can count. But it doesn't bother me in the slightest, because you've lost the argument once you attack the person rather than the idea. You've stooped to such a low level, you've implicitly admitted, "I couldn't find a good way to refute what you just said, so I'm going to try to assassinate your character and then hope nobody notices, so if I'm lucky everyone will think you're a jerk and nobody will take your opinions seriously." But the great thing about ideas, as V says in V for Vendetta, is ideas are bulletproof! You can assassinate my character but my ideas are present in numerous other people, so you cannot defeat an idea by assassinating an individual or his character.

Nope. You are wrong. Wrong. WRONG! What I said is right.
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