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You know, I also question this. I have always offered or just excused myself as if to go to the restroom and then picked up the tab. I wonder how many women actually demand that the man pay.
Sidenote: I talked to a guy last night who was meeting this woman at a restaurant. She arrived with THREE young kids in tow without telling him they were coming, saying she could not get a babysitter. Yes, he was disturbed. Kids ordered, all ate - meal came out to almost 70 bux. She all the sudden said when the bill came, (with the drama of looking through her purse as he watched her - did not even say she had to pay), she goes, "OMG, I left my wallet at home!" Obviously that was the end of it right then and there.
I think it's so awkward with the whole who pays thing. I guess if I asked her out, I'm supposed to pay. So fine whatever, I don't care that much. I'm cool with it. It's too awkward to say, "So... yeah are you going to pay for your half." Whatever it's not worth that social awkwardness for a few bucks. But I really appreciate it if a girl insists on paying for her half, even though I'll resist at first, "Are you sure? I don't mind paying," if she's like, "No, I want to pay for my half," I guess I just think of her as a really respectful girl. It seems like right away, she isn't trying to use me for my money, which is awesome, and she has an appreciation for the fact it can add up paying for other peoples' meals.
I had a really awkward situation like this, though, last year. I had went on one date with this girl, but we've known each other since high school, and talked a bunch online, so it wasn't like a first date quite as much. I mean, it was just dinner and a movie, but she wasn't a stranger by any means -- she knew my mom, she had been to my house before apparently hanging out with my sister, I didn't even know that, so she was somewhat of a family friend I guess. We didn't talk in high school much. She got a lot better looking after, let's just put it that way. I never remembered her as being so good looking, haha. I got really busy after the first date, and didn't have a chance to see her, so I guess I kind of blew it in that sense. She started dating some other guys, and when I tried to hang out with her again she kept flaking. So I just ended contact with her. Then randomly a while later she asked if I wanted to come and hang out and watch a USC game with her at the bar, as friends. I was like sure ok, sounds fun why not. I go there, and it was like $60 for dinner and drinks, and her share was more than mine even, but she gave me $20 and was like, "How's this? I wouldn't want to make you pay for it all." I was just sort of like... umm.... ok??? This isn't even a date, why should I have to pay for a friend's meal and drinks just because she's a cute girl? That's not fair at all. I don't pay for my guy friends, that's just weird. So I felt kind of used and awkward to be honest. Then back at her place we were hanging out just watching some TV when she goes over to her neighbor's place, without really saying anything but "be right back," and is gone for 30 minutes. I'm not joking. I was just sitting there for 30 minutes wondering what the hell was going on. He was some guy, the neighbor, I don't know what the deal was but she just returned like nothing was wrong, like it was perfectly acceptable. Even though I drove 25 miles there and 25 back just to hang out with her. If a guy friend did that I would be equally annoyed, so again it's not a matter of that. I haven't seen her since, and after that deleted her from my Facebook, phone, etc. So maybe she wanted to stick me with the bill and somehow get back at me or something, I don't know.
I think it's so awkward with the whole who pays thing. I guess if I asked her out, I'm supposed to pay. So fine whatever, I don't care that much. I'm cool with it. It's too awkward to say, "So... yeah are you going to pay for your half." Whatever it's not worth that social awkwardness for a few bucks. But I really appreciate it if a girl insists on paying for her half, even though I'll resist at first, "Are you sure? I don't mind paying," if she's like, "No, I want to pay for my half," I guess I just think of her as a really respectful girl. It seems like right away, she isn't trying to use me for my money, which is awesome, and she has an appreciation for the fact it can add up paying for other peoples' meals.
I had a really awkward situation like this, though, last year. I had went on one date with this girl, but we've known each other since high school, and talked a bunch online, so it wasn't like a first date quite as much. I mean, it was just dinner and a movie, but she wasn't a stranger by any means -- she knew my mom, she had been to my house before apparently hanging out with my sister, I didn't even know that, so she was somewhat of a family friend I guess. We didn't talk in high school much. She got a lot better looking after, let's just put it that way. I never remembered her as being so good looking, haha. I got really busy after the first date, and didn't have a chance to see her, so I guess I kind of blew it in that sense. She started dating some other guys, and when I tried to hang out with her again she kept flaking. So I just ended contact with her. Then randomly a while later she asked if I wanted to come and hang out and watch a USC game with her at the bar, as friends. I was like sure ok, sounds fun why not. I go there, and it was like $60 for dinner and drinks, and her share was more than mine even, but she gave me $20 and was like, "How's this? I wouldn't want to make you pay for it all." I was just sort of like... umm.... ok??? This isn't even a date, why should I have to pay for a friend's meal and drinks just because she's a cute girl? That's not fair at all. I don't pay for my guy friends, that's just weird. So I felt kind of used and awkward to be honest. Then back at her place we were hanging out just watching some TV when she goes over to her neighbor's place, without really saying anything but "be right back," and is gone for 30 minutes. I'm not joking. I was just sitting there for 30 minutes wondering what the hell was going on. He was some guy, the neighbor, I don't know what the deal was but she just returned like nothing was wrong, like it was perfectly acceptable. Even though I drove 25 miles there and 25 back just to hang out with her. If a guy friend did that I would be equally annoyed, so again it's not a matter of that. I haven't seen her since, and after that deleted her from my Facebook, phone, etc. So maybe she wanted to stick me with the bill and somehow get back at me or something, I don't know.
What would you do if she showed up with 3 kids in tow to your date without telling you? (like what happened to the guy I talked to?)
HAHA, I hate kids so if I found out she even had kids I wouldn't be on a date, and if she brought kids to the date I would so bail. I'm sure that's due to happen to me, I have some of the worst luck with girls of anyone I know. My friends at least tell me I have terrible luck with girls, what do I know? Based on my experience most girls suck and are totally crazy, but they tell me while that may be true, it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be for most people, I've just gotten burned more than usual. So, I guess I hope they're right, but I have no luck with that sorta thing.
Twice since I've moved to Los Angeles I started talking to really cool, great girls I had a lot in common with online, who found me through MySpace or Facebook or something, and they ended up moving away within 3 weeks, without me even getting to meet them. One to San Diego, one to IRELAND.
Yeah I don't even really think to ask that, honestly, but I guess I'm old enough girls my age do sometimes have kids. It's terrifying. It's like the whole married thing. I am not old enough that I think I should have to worry about a girl being married, but I guess I do. I don't check for rings, because to be totally honest I can't even remember what hand and what finger means she's married, I just never pay attention, all girls wear rings it seems like so I don't really pay that much attention. Ok, ok, I know it's the ring finger, but I can't remember what hand. I've probably been told about 5 times but I always forget. I only tend to remember information that I find useful and so far that bit of info hasn't been useful
I'm glad my son is 17-1/2 and men I meet that ordinarily will not date Moms, do not see his being 17-1/2 an issue since he is practically grown now, although I still have Mom duties. I have a lot of freedoms to travel and so forth without worrying about sitters, as compared to if he were younger.
That's a good point. I mean if I were older, and a girl had a kid who was that age, that wouldn't bother me at all. As you said he's basically grown up. It's not like he's 6 and going to be super needy and barge in on us and be like "Mommy why is that strange man tasting your lips?!" lol
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