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Old 10-27-2008, 09:23 AM
 
2,482 posts, read 8,719,017 times
Reputation: 1972

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
I am not worried about getting a divorce. To me the worst that can happen is he will never leave me alone. He will always have that hope that we will get back together. Or worst he will break emotionally and do something horrible to himself. Those are my biggest fears. That is why I am afraid to go to couceling. I am afraid I will be the one to make him snap
You're being ridiculous and full of yourself. If he is the mature adult you describe him to be, he'll know when to stop. You, on the other hand, don't seem to have a concept of what vows or responsibility means at all. All I can tell you, without flying off the handle and getting overtly nasty, is please---grow the heck up and stop making a mountain out of a molehill.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:26 AM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
4,589 posts, read 13,142,316 times
Reputation: 1850
You know what.....it truly amazes me how heartless people can be....he sounds like he loves you and he wants to work things out....that's so unbelievably sad anyone could do that....just the way you come across and the way your going about it is so shady....yuck and ewwww. I actually don't feel bad for your soon to be x but I do feel for the work dude.....
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:31 AM
 
542 posts, read 1,681,557 times
Reputation: 329
Seriously...if someone told you that in 1 years time of hard work, you were going to be in love with your husband and your marriage was going to be stronger than ever..what would you do? Would you make the effort?

You have literally shut your mind to any other possibility than its over and you can't stand your husband. Why do you believe it will always be this way? Haven't we learned that most things change over time?
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,428,182 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by vukinjo View Post
Seriously...if someone told you that in 1 years time of hard work, you were going to be in love with your husband and your marriage was going to be stronger than ever..what would you do? Would you make the effort?

You have literally shut your mind to any other possibility than its over and you can't stand your husband. Why do you believe it will always be this way? Haven't we learned that most things change over time?
She is too young and immature to get this - but nice try
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:34 AM
 
305 posts, read 372,836 times
Reputation: 47
you know what - My feelings are my feelings. I cannot control them. This is the way I feel. I do not love him. I have not loved him for a long time. I have not been happy in this marraige. I thought I was unhappy because I was so big. When I lost all the weight I was still just as unhappy. I was unhappy in my marraige. I have a right to be happy. We all do. How can he really be happy married to someone who is there just because it is her DUTY to do so.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,428,182 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
you know what - My feelings are my feelings. I cannot control them. This is the way I feel. I do not love him. I have not loved him for a long time. I have not been happy in this marraige. I thought I was unhappy because I was so big. When I lost all the weight I was still just as unhappy. I was unhappy in my marraige. I have a right to be happy. We all do. How can he really be happy married to someone who is there just because it is her DUTY to do so.
You are right - feelings aren't good are bad, they just ARE, and you can't always control them. HOWEVER, you can control what you decide to DO about those feelings. This is why you need to do the counseling the way MommyV suggested it. Even if you don't decide to stay married, counseling clarifies the issues for you and gives you a way to accomplish the breakup as maturely as possible, which as a mom you should want more than anything for your kids.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:37 AM
 
2,482 posts, read 8,719,017 times
Reputation: 1972
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
you know what - My feelings are my feelings. I cannot control them. This is the way I feel. I do not love him. I have not loved him for a long time. I have not been happy in this marraige. I thought I was unhappy because I was so big. When I lost all the weight I was still just as unhappy. I was unhappy in my marraige. I have a right to be happy. We all do. How can he really be happy married to someone who is there just because it is her DUTY to do so.
So duty means nothing to you then? Do you even realize what the word means? You disgust me.

For his sake, get this done and over with because I have a feeling you will never change.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,428,182 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmerkyGrl View Post
So duty means nothing to you then? Do you even realize what the word means? You disgust me.

For his sake, get this done and over with because I have a feeling you will never change.
She's just young, there is still hope she'll grow up and out of herself.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:45 AM
 
1,882 posts, read 4,609,810 times
Reputation: 2683
Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
My issue now is, how do I deal with being under the same roof as him for the next 2.5 months if he keeps on trying to act like everything is going ok? He text me this morning telling me he loves me. then he asked if I made the appt. with the councelor. Which I did. i am kind of nervous to go. I dont know what kind of questions she will be asking. Does anyone know what I can expect. And how long to you think is sufficent to go so he will be content with us trying.
Your last statement finished it for me. Do your kids a favor, give your husband 100% custody and get a divorce NOW. Go have YOUR fun, do what YOU want, and live YOUR life. Just do everything for YOU. No counceling, nothing. Pack your crap and go and don't talk to your husband again, don't even come w/in "binocular sight" of the guy. Best thing you can do for him/kids.

I wish the best for your husband and kids........I'll quit there.
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:45 AM
 
305 posts, read 372,836 times
Reputation: 47
i am taking mommyv advise and going to counceling. But I know where my heart is and where it is not. I am hoping my husband will gain some closuer from this.
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