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Old 10-28-2008, 04:58 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,888 posts, read 30,136,994 times
Reputation: 19062

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MS. Confused View Post
driftwoodpoint - is understand what your saying. Things in our house are far from comftorable. Like I said, I rather leave now then end up cheating on him, because thats where things are at right now
I'm not surprised at all. Usually and not all the time, but usually, when someone leaves, it means there is someone else in the picture. Just the idea that you have said that...makes me shake my head and want to cry.

I've read these posts, and your first one states, I had my first girl, and I had my second girl....

your very self impossed, unthinking and uncaring about anyone else's feelings but your own. This isn't about you, it's about everyone else who loves you...your children, your husband, your parents, inlaws and friends...your putting everyone in a position of taking sides all for the sake of what you Think to be unhappieness.

Let me ask you this...what is happiness? If it's not in there already, no one else can make you happy, it's not somone else's job to do so.

I'm not trying to hammer you, but more so to be honest and wake you up. This is all about you...and you can't see past your own nose, sorry to say.

You think the grass will be greener out there...you were married as a child, and were fortunate enough to have a good husband. Love and romance is over rated...plus, you think your unhappy now, wait until you go out there in the real world and see what cads there are, only interested in using you for self gratification, then dumping you. And if you should run around while your married, in my mind, that is the most dispicable thing you can do to yourself, your husband, children, etc. Plus the person you run around with, will never be able to trust you.

I'm so sorry for you...and envy you...you have it all, and you have no idea what your throwing away, let alone, the hearts you will hurt, because of your inability to face reality.

Believe me, you have no idea what your doing to yourself and everyone who cares for you. Your attitude towards counseling is "Oh well, I'll pacify him, and it'll make me feel better, so I can say I tried".

YOU have a problem...and no matter what you do, until you come to terms with the FACT that you do have a problem, and get help, you'll never know what happiness truly is.

Happiness, is defined by each individual person...yes, you were married young, but you made the decission to marry, then to bring children into the picture...Do you have any idea how lucky you are? You have two children...I lost 3 and the one child I do have (a son) has been severed by a very jealous DIL. I was unlucky when it came to choosing a mate...but you, you have it all, and your unhappy????? Wait until your 60 and life has passed you by...if you continue like this, you have so much to loose, plus, you think your unhappy now, believe me, it's just begun. Your children will suffer b/c of you, your husband will suffer, you will suffer, not to mention all the other people standing on the outside looking in...your decissions EFFECT so many other people. And when you hurt others, it eventually comes back to haunt you. These decissions your making my dear girl, are life altering...this isn't about deciding what laundry detergent to buy.

Seems like you mind is already made up...and in that, there is no room for change, and the change must come from you, from within...you have to know you have problems...and your problems are not caused by anyone else, but you. Until you admit that to yourself, there is no hope, and you will make a choice that will be harmful to you.

I cannot validate your decissions...they are, to me, very unthinking and selfish. If you leave, you will suffer great consequences I'm sure...and that I'm so sorry for...not to mention, the children...by the way, do you intend to take them with you? Because if your going to leave and start dating, you take a huge risk with the kind of men your going to meet out there...who could be abusive to your children.

While there are some good men out there...the dating game is no place for children. What if you meet someone and invest more time in a different man, then eventually you break up...whose left holding the baggage again...YOur children...why...because they've invested their time in trust and their love in human beings that can't return their love. It's going to surely have a negative impact on them. Children are very vulnerable...and when their trust is broken, it devestates then and could also change them forever.

I'm sorry to be so hard on you, but these are the cold facts...
you leave, before you get yourself straightened out...and unhappiness will follow you for the rest of your days...I fear.

Your doing what is best for you...and only you...and it won't be.

I hope I've been of some help

by the way, I've only gotten as far as this post of yours and refuse to go back in and read the rest...I'm afraid I would be so much more annoyed then I already am.

the man I work with is right when he says...You should have to take a test before your allowed to have children.

He and his wife could not have any...and reading something like this, really puts a stake their hearts.

Creme
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:22 AM
 
Location: in purgurtory in London
3,722 posts, read 4,294,768 times
Reputation: 1292
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
I'm not surprised at all. Usually and not all the time, but usually, when someone leaves, it means there is someone else in the picture. Just the idea that you have said that...makes me shake my head and want to cry.

I've read these posts, and your first one states, I had my first girl, and I had my second girl....

your very self impossed, unthinking and uncaring about anyone else's feelings but your own. This isn't about you, it's about everyone else who loves you...your children, your husband, your parents, inlaws and friends...your putting everyone in a position of taking sides all for the sake of what you Think to be unhappieness.

Let me ask you this...what is happiness? If it's not in there already, no one else can make you happy, it's not somone else's job to do so.

I'm not trying to hammer you, but more so to be honest and wake you up. This is all about you...and you can't see past your own nose, sorry to say.

You think the grass will be greener out there...you were married as a child, and were fortunate enough to have a good husband. Love and romance is over rated...plus, you think your unhappy now, wait until you go out there in the real world and see what cads there are, only interested in using you for self gratification, then dumping you. And if you should run around while your married, in my mind, that is the most dispicable thing you can do to yourself, your husband, children, etc. Plus the person you run around with, will never be able to trust you.

I'm so sorry for you...and envy you...you have it all, and you have no idea what your throwing away, let alone, the hearts you will hurt, because of your inability to face reality.

Believe me, you have no idea what your doing to yourself and everyone who cares for you. Your attitude towards counseling is "Oh well, I'll pacify him, and it'll make me feel better, so I can say I tried".

YOU have a problem...and no matter what you do, until you come to terms with the FACT that you do have a problem, and get help, you'll never know what happiness truly is.

Happiness, is defined by each individual person...yes, you were married young, but you made the decission to marry, then to bring children into the picture...Do you have any idea how lucky you are? You have two children...I lost 3 and the one child I do have (a son) has been severed by a very jealous DIL. I was unlucky when it came to choosing a mate...but you, you have it all, and your unhappy????? Wait until your 60 and life has passed you by...if you continue like this, you have so much to loose, plus, you think your unhappy now, believe me, it's just begun. Your children will suffer b/c of you, your husband will suffer, you will suffer, not to mention all the other people standing on the outside looking in...your decissions EFFECT so many other people. And when you hurt others, it eventually comes back to haunt you. These decissions your making my dear girl, are life altering...this isn't about deciding what laundry detergent to buy.

Seems like you mind is already made up...and in that, there is no room for change, and the change must come from you, from within...you have to know you have problems...and your problems are not caused by anyone else, but you. Until you admit that to yourself, there is no hope, and you will make a choice that will be harmful to you.

I cannot validate your decissions...they are, to me, very unthinking and selfish. If you leave, you will suffer great consequences I'm sure...and that I'm so sorry for...not to mention, the children...by the way, do you intend to take them with you? Because if your going to leave and start dating, you take a huge risk with the kind of men your going to meet out there...who could be abusive to your children.

While there are some good men out there...the dating game is no place for children. What if you meet someone and invest more time in a different man, then eventually you break up...whose left holding the baggage again...YOur children...why...because they've invested their time in trust and their love in human beings that can't return their love. It's going to surely have a negative impact on them. Children are very vulnerable...and when their trust is broken, it devestates then and could also change them forever.

I'm sorry to be so hard on you, but these are the cold facts...
you leave, before you get yourself straightened out...and unhappiness will follow you for the rest of your days...I fear.

Your doing what is best for you...and only you...and it won't be.

I hope I've been of some help

by the way, I've only gotten as far as this post of yours and refuse to go back in and read the rest...I'm afraid I would be so much more annoyed then I already am.

the man I work with is right when he says...You should have to take a test before your allowed to have children.

He and his wife could not have any...and reading something like this, really puts a stake their hearts.

Creme
You took the time to write all that?
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,888 posts, read 30,136,994 times
Reputation: 19062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggy dee Ann View Post
You took the time to write all that?

yes, I did, what's the problem?
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,645 posts, read 38,560,671 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggy dee Ann View Post
You took the time to write all that?
and a great job she did, too.
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:35 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,181 posts, read 3,050,209 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
yes, I did, what's the problem?
I totally agree with you and so do most of us that have responded to her. We only hope and pray that she actually hears what we're all telling her. Although, I truly believe she will not.
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:38 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,888 posts, read 30,136,994 times
Reputation: 19062
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV View Post
I totally agree with you and so do most of us that have responded to her. We only hope and pray that she actually hears what we're all telling her. Although, I truly believe she will not.
yeah, I hear ya, she seems so starved for attention, negative, or not...it's still attention to her? Sad, for her children's sake and for the sake of a good man....very sad....and makes me wonder cuz he is the kind of man I always wanted?????

Why do such complete opposites attract and another perfect example of falling in love with lust and co-dependency...

Nah, she won't listen....
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,888 posts, read 30,136,994 times
Reputation: 19062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad View Post
and a great job she did, too.
wull, many thanks....and so did you

Creme
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 7,008,653 times
Reputation: 6743
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad View Post
and a great job she did, too.
She sure did. I agree with everything she said.
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,645 posts, read 38,560,671 times
Reputation: 11780
I think OP is a lost cause. I feel so bad for her husband and kids.
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:00 AM
 
305 posts, read 372,836 times
Reputation: 47
I have taken what everyone has said into consideration....really I have. But you all are right, my mind is made up. I have to do this. He kind of lost it yesterday and said I just was leaving because now I looked and felt good and I just wanted to be able to go out and shake my ass. He may be right but he said this in front of my girls. (see that is what I am talking about) he says things he should not. I know he is hurting, but you have to watch what is said in front of them. Now this morning, he text me and asked Are you sure you dont love me? Now he just called and apolgized for last night. How do I deal with this?
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