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You should have known all that before you got into the so called 5 year relationship. That is common sense.
Oh why thank you for that oh so wise advice.
It wasn't all rough. It was a lot of ups and downs. It was hard for me to finally just break up with him once and for all.Looking back it was the best thing I ever did for myself.
You will obviously never have a long term relationship if you think one year is a very long time.
You are not a relationship person and should stick to dating people that are similar to you.
I'm a long term relationship type person where I want my relationships to last years on end. Have I met any person that agrees with my views and philosophies yet? No. I've met a bunch of people like you......nit picky whiny fickle perfectionists that discount the power of a good long relationship.
LOL, Artsy you have done so much preaching on this thread and in others lately, and not in an intelligent way whatsoever, that I don't think someone has to be a perfectionist not to want to date you. They just have to desire a life without constant snarky remarks
A long relationship is only as valuable as the quality of the person it's with. If it's a long relationship with someone you don't get along with well, it's obviously not very valuable. A year is a long time for a relationship to last in my opinion, I generally get sick of the girl before that and I'm ready to be single again. A year without my independence isn't exactly a great deal.
I saw this thread before and thought it was cool, but didn't have too much time when glancing at topics.
First, I have to have the intelligence level in common. B looks with an B personality makes for a higher average than A looks with a D personality (like Anna Nicole Smith was probably wired).
After that, there are three deal-breakers that I can't seem to get past and any, or all, might be present. I think they are reasonable dealbreakers:
1. an ethnicity or race I do NOT find attractive,
2. weight that is TOO FAR out of range, and, last but not least,
3. too tomboyish (Jaime Lee Curtis, she's the "poster girl" for the unappealing masculine yet hetero woman, and I've probably echoed that at least 5x here).
And these types hit up on me with no indication that it's welcomed. Why are these dealbreakers reasonable?
1. I'm caucasian. Everyone is equal in God's eyes, but NOT when you have to soap them up in the shower. LOL.
2. I've been up to about 15 lbs. over my doctor's chart weight, though I'm now half that much overweight...about 8 lbs. over. Bigger shoulders, arms or calves than mine are not appealing
3. I'm more of an analytical, intellectual type so girls/women who are more into rock climbing or golf than I could ever be are a big "turn off"....the funny thing is that even jocks don't seem to like the jockettes....
So, there you go...
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 11-07-2008 at 11:57 PM..
Yes Jonathan I was a bit snarky with you; however, I agree with you. These days a year is a pretty long time. Most people I know have 3 month relationships too.
My point is that I prefer to have relationships with people that can adapt and keep the quality going years on end. But I don't know anybody who is really into that...ya know...
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
LOL, Artsy you have done so much preaching on this thread and in others lately, and not in an intelligent way whatsoever, that I don't think someone has to be a perfectionist not to want to date you. They just have to desire a life without constant snarky remarks
A long relationship is only as valuable as the quality of the person it's with. If it's a long relationship with someone you don't get along with well, it's obviously not very valuable. A year is a long time for a relationship to last in my opinion, I generally get sick of the girl before that and I'm ready to be single again. A year without my independence isn't exactly a great deal.
There are so many reasons why I'm single. I'll list a few:
1. Being an only child, I've spent copious amounts of my time alone. I've had a lot of time to learn about myself, life and people in general. 96% of the time, I'm okay living a life that is virtually free of female companionship, sex, etc. For the other 4%, there's everything else we often desire in others.
2. I do not agree with the 'social design' of dating and choose not to participate.
3. I am convinced that many people haven't a clue of what they truly desire in someone. Their desires change like the wind and I think that's unhealthy.
4. I enjoy the freedom and independence of my life. I am only responsible for myself. I can do anything I desire whenever I want.
5. I lead an unconventional life. I don't subscribe to die-hard beliefs, labels, etc. I feel surrounded by a society of puppets and that's enough to deal with for me.
6. Dating seems more like 'window shopping' than anything else. Few people are interested in the person behind the face, clothes and accessories. We want instant gratification or nothing at all. We want everything to be perfect, when we're not even of perfection ourselves.
My heart was in the right place, but I had terrible judgment. There was a lot of self sacrifice. It seems like it happened overnight; I woke up and became a different person. I found myself wanting to be alone, to have time to myself. I didn't want to be responsible for another person's feelings and I didn't want to be in a position to have to make concessions or compromise to please someone else. I enjoy my own company so I'm never lonely.
Jaime Lee Curtis, she's the "poster girl" for the unappealing masculine yet hetero woman, and I've probably echoed that at least 5x here
If indeed she is a woman....
--------
I'm single because
1) I'm very shy & generally quiet, and that comes off as aloof to others, and it makes it hard for me to meet new people and connect with them. Yes, this is my own fault, and yes, I make efforts to work on it.
2) I like a lot of alone time, and I don't always pursue relationships when the opportunity arises. Again, my own fault. I'd like to believe that I haven't met anyone yet who inspires me to make time for them, but that sounds arrogant now that I type it out.
3) I haven't met anyone who inspires me not to be single , and who pursues me. I see guys and meet guys I am interested in, but they don't always pursue me (see #1 for "aloof") or there's some obstacle like distance. Or, you know, they just don't like me .
4) I have to be pursued because I am shy (see #1 for "aloof" again).
5) I won't return interest in a guy who seems to like me just based on my appearance and who I have nothing in common with. This happens too often.
6) When I do meet guys I click with intellectually and who pursue me, I am sometimes not attracted to them physically. They often pursue me under the "friend" guise, and I hate that too.
7) I notice that guys I am attracted to and seem to have things in common with are not super out-going either, meaning they aren't likely to pursue me (see #1 for "aloof" again).
8) I'm not the kind to go to bars to meet guys, I work for a very small business, and I have a small circle of friends/family. I don't have many networking options, basically. I tend to meet guys at shows I go to (music), but they often live in a different area from me.
1. I live in a huge city where most people do not or cannot take the time to nurture healthy, lasting relationships; and I refuse to settle for fwb's, instant or disposable relationships, etc.
2. I am celibate--meaning I abstain from sex outside the boundaries of a loving, committed, long-term relationship--which makes me more than a bit unusual nowadays. Men tend to lose interest after about three dates.
3. I am focused on my career and my artistic work. I tend to not have patience for anyone who tries to take me away from work or turn me into his instant housewife or caretaker (with no strings attached, of course...lol).
I am sure there are other reasons, but these are the top three.
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