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I stick by my partner in public no matter how much I may disagree with him. If he punishes one of our kids in a manner that I would not, I still stand behind him and then when the kids are in bed, let him know how I did not agree. You always have to look united even when you are not...no matter what the situation is. I have not been following your threads about your relationship, but I can tell you that the minute my husband does not support me, especially infront of others, is the day he can find the door! [IMO] It is that important to me that we look united as a couple no matter what is going on.
In public I think we do look united for the most part,but I hate keeping up fronts. If something is wrong I tend to want to address it right then and there,not so much in front of family but anywhere else in public yes.
I think StuckPA needs some sympathy because it must be tough to live with a withholding person.
It's not always fake but I'm not here to throw hubby under the bus and he better not do that to me either. That is why I say, stick with me or vice versa in public (infront of others) and when we are alone, you can tell me how dead wrong I am! I'm not talking about politics or things like that either. But, for instance, when my in-laws come into town and they mooch for several days and then finally one day I say we can't afford to allow you to mooch anymore, he better not turn around in front of them and say yes we can!
My hubby and I had hard times in the beginning because his family was so rotten to us so we became "Team Stewart" and that experience and other hardships made us stronger...our kids call the family "Team Stewart" too...That is why I asked. I always wonder if couples think of marriage as a team sport or not.
Usually they do,but I think that's one of the cracks in our foundation.
If I knew that I'd probably be more relaxed
But right now it's an endless cycle and I'm hoping my patience wins out if you know what I mean
Well, maybe you should make a goal, write it down and try to achieve it...then you could keep your mind focused on a tangible task and outcome rather than festering on the what ifs...
Well, maybe you should make a goal, write it down and try to achieve it...then you could keep your mind focused on a tangible task and outcome rather than festering on the what ifs...
Seems I've been living like that for some years now...it's like the wheels started coming off at some point and I just started giving up on things.
It seemed like every time I dared to try and achieve a goal,something got in the way and screwed it up...so I just gave up and started hoping.
I suppose as I get more fired up I might get a second(or third)wind and find other things to try.
Seems I've been living like that for some years now...it's like the wheels started coming off at some point and I just started giving up on things.
It seemed like every time I dared to try and achieve a goal,something got in the way and screwed it up...so I just gave up and started hoping.
I suppose as I get more fired up I might get a second(or third)wind and find other things to try.
I'm rooting for you! Eventually you will get to the point where you will be able to make a decision and follow through. Until then, you are on a learning curve. Hang in there.
So, since I have not been following all of your threads, why don't you leave?
It's a combination of things...but I don't want to wreck the foundations of anything we've already built,as it could change provided we learn to change.
I feel that fate has probably brought us to this place,where we are to learn rather than keep running(as I always used to do,although sometimes it's necessary for sanity). It could also be 'growing pains'...(big ones!)...I've noticed slight changes in our tolerances etc. But I think there's some ways to go yet and perhaps some things we may never agree on...
So I'm giving it a big try before anything else!...
Plus it'll make for quite an impressive relationship resume if it is to be down the road...I battled through things that would probably break most!
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It's Like Quicksand
