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Old 01-10-2012, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,884 posts, read 6,789,894 times
Reputation: 5439

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DOH. I didnt notice that! Whoever revived this sucks!
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Old 01-11-2012, 02:38 PM
 
168 posts, read 337,182 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by braveandcrazy View Post
Hi all, I'm new here and I guess I am looking for a little advice . I'm 43 (definately not a couger ) and a there is a certain guy I have feelings for and his 26 (17 yrs difference..OMG!!) When I first me him I didn't know how old he was until a work collegue told me, but before knowing this I was extremely attracted to him (still am). I've noticed him looking at me alot at work and then a few months ago, a friend of mine told him that I liked him (with my permission) , and his response to my friend was "Wow, Awesome".
The next day he went into my friend and asked her how seriouse was it, and she told him its not a joke. My friend said to him do you want me to get her to ring you and he said yes. So the next day I called him because I just had to get it out of my system. I asked him what he thought about what my friend told him ( as I didn't have the courage to tell him myself due to how old I am) and he told me everything is a bit full on at the moment, that he is in an off and on relationship and still having issues with his ex (he has two small children to her and it wasn't a good relationship apparently), he said he would have to clear up a few things before he started anything new. (I took that as a brush off) So I said to him thats fine, at least its out in the open now. I wished him a good afternoon and told him I would see him around, he thanked me for the call.
Two weeks after that call he broke off the relationship with the on and off girlfriend.
He only comes in once a week too work and the other day he looked into my office and just gazed at me! and I gazed back at him (basically we locked eyes) and he did not say anything then left.
I have been picking up a number of signs that he may like me, so with that gaze I thought I would send him a text regarding the look he gave me and if there was something he wanted to say, and he responded saying he was confused about the look I was talking about and he said he hoped it wasn't maliciouse, anyway I replied to him no, it was kinda of a look that you maybe attraced to me (dumb response from me) anyway he didn't reply to it. The next day I sent him my final text telling him I was a little emabarressed by the previouse days message I sent him and I hoped it didn't make him feel awkward and that I obviously misread the situation, he didn't respond to that either.
In the initial stages I could definately see signs that he may like me but he would not have known how old I was, now I think he may know due to the non response from my messages. ( I have been told that I do look alot younger than 43).
Since then he has said hi and has asked how I am and I'll respond with a hi back, but I am now trying to not look at him when he comes into work anymore, because it kills me because I can't stop thinking about him.
This has never happened to me before and I would really appreciate some good old fashioned honest advice. Thanks

I am not into younger men at all, but that is just me. My advice to you would be the same if you were interested in someone your own age.

Do not put all your cards on the table without knowing his interest. Men often respond to women they know are interested in them, but they wouldn't necessarily otherwise be interested in those women. Hope that makes sense!

Keep other people out of it. You are both adults and do not need a go-between to whisper and say hey my friend likes you.

Be careful and take it slow when you work together AND when there are kids involved.

Lots of people are talking about where you are in your life vs where he is in his. I find that this often varies from person to person and is not always age-specific. If two people are compatible and have similar goals, there is nothing wrong with it.
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Old 01-11-2012, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Blah
4,153 posts, read 9,238,689 times
Reputation: 3087
Honestly, the guy doesn't seem all that vested in this relationship...s/he who is less invested has the most power...notice how you're doing all the chasing. Anyhow, I would suggest moving on (sounds like his loss) and don't worry about age differences unless their under 18yrs old. Ironically, I ran across a woman the other day who was easily in her 40's and I couldn't get her out of my head for days. I'm happily married and no plans to on anything else. I guess my point is you just don't know who is going to catch your eye.

Best of luck.
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Old 10-14-2013, 11:42 PM
 
1 posts, read 946 times
Reputation: 15
I am 51 and I have a guy friend that is 36. I like him a lot. We have been friends for 3 years and friends with benefits for the last 2 years, seeing each other once a week and spending an occassional overnight together. We play WWF daily, talk multiple times a week and txt short txt back and forth. He definitely seems into me. He calls me baby and makes suggestive comments. I am wondering if this seems to be more than just friends with benefits. I have met his dad, not mom in a public situation. But not at their home. He does not want anyone to know that he is seeing me, friends or family. Yet he has to see me regularly. Where do you think he is going with this? I have been separated from an abusive and dependent marriage but not divorced for almost 4 years. Not looking for another permanent relationship, but do want to move forward to independence. I just wonder if there is enough for him to hang around or should I still consider this just a friends with benefits situation. Unfortunately I really care about him, I think I love him and he has said that he loves me one time recently. I feel lost to a certain degree, but I really care about him. I sometimes feel like I need to end it due to the age difference and fear of falling in love with him and not being able to have him. How can I tell if he is really cares about me, and possibly hanging with me still waiting for me to **** or get off the pot.
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Old 10-14-2013, 11:54 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,394,806 times
Reputation: 7783
If your instinct and gut instinct feels its wrong and he/she is too young, then he/she probably is!
If not, go for it.
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Old 10-17-2013, 04:57 AM
 
5,802 posts, read 11,837,900 times
Reputation: 4661
You should go ahead, lisabell, and not listen to some people, who, inevitably, would criticize you (but would applaud a 21 guy having a 36 year old wife or gf).
Take my case : I'm 58, my wife is 64, and we've been together 21 years. Before meeting her, I even had a girll friend who was 12 years older than me! I always got along better with older, more mature women, I have a problem with the selfishness of most younger women.
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Old 10-17-2013, 09:06 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,316 posts, read 2,548,222 times
Reputation: 5936
Quote:
Originally Posted by braveandcrazy View Post
Hi again,
Thankyou to everyone for your opinions on my issue, I appreciate all the feedback! Yes I guess I am selfconsciouse of the age difference, because this has never happened to me before. In the early stages I was picking up signs from him that he was attracted to me, no doubt about it, then I started feeling the same way. Someone on the forum mentioned that he could be intimidated by my age and I guess I'm a little intimated by his! Its not really "conventional"..lol
He came into work yesterday and in the morning he said hi and asked how I am, and in the afternoon he made some small talk with me which was nice. He has two small children (single dad) and I find him very mature for his age! Yes I am trying to forget about him and move on, trying that hard it makes me dizzy..lol!
I have been quiet around him and I pick up that he is quite shy. I haven't pushed the issue with him I wouldn't dare, at the end of the day I would like to keep my dignity.
I guess there really is no answer to it only to develope a general friendship I guess. I'm not ready for anything seriouse anyway at the moment.
I'm working on trying to relax when his around, and yes I have felt like a love sick teenager..ridiculouse I know! But it is what it is!
Thanks again to everyone, all of your opinions have given me food for thought!
Cheers!
You can't help your feelings and feeling like a "love sick teenager" again could be fun -- just to experience those feelings again, you know? My take on all this is that it is not the age thing at all...I would forget that.
What I do think is that (1) he was flattered that you were interested, but (2) he quite kindly told you that he had other priorities at that time -- it doesn't matter that he then broke up with his girlfriend unless he came to YOU and told YOU that he broke up with her and then asked you out.
What I think is that if a man is interested in a relationship -- or just dating -- you, he will rearrange anything in order to make that happen.
Enjoy your "fluttery stomach" feelings for him right now, and perhaps a friendship will follow one day, but move on and look elsewhere for an available man to date who WILL move heaven and earth just to get to spend time with you. You -- we all -- deserve that. Best of luck!
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Old 10-17-2013, 09:08 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,316 posts, read 2,548,222 times
Reputation: 5936
Yikes...I just realized this is an old thread. Wonder whatever happened to the OP?
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Old 10-18-2013, 06:33 AM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,295,512 times
Reputation: 2412
Brave and Crazy hasn't been on since Christmas 2008. Time to start a new thread with new characters and broader drama.
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