U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 11-01-2008, 09:33 AM
16 posts, read 31,205 times
Reputation: 10


Recently, I saw this guy, that..well..we are always flirting with each other but nothing ever happens. I think he is just shy..but he never makes any moves or anything but he has given me tons of signs that he has feelings for me.

I was with him after class this earlier this week and we were just talking and then I had him help me with Math, he is like a Math WIZ! So I told him...I have a test this week, can you help me out? So we went to the library on campus and when we were done...we were leaving and I was assuming we were just gonna go our seperate ways..but he kept talking to me and then he said ohh man I forgot my keys..and we were just heading around the corner from where the table was that we were sitting ( meaning, we were not that far from the keys...lol) and I turned towards him and said..ohh well you should go back for them and he was like..."well are you coming"?

( I was thinking...you need me to come w/you to get your keys?) And I said...Umm..do you want me to--- and then he was like...hold on, and he ran to the table got his keys and ran back.

Anyway, long story short, we were walking out and a girl in one of my other classes stopped me and as we were talking...he was like alight well, I guess I will see you ladies later...and he left. Now part of me feels like...Should I have just blew off my friend and ran and caught up with him, rather then talk to her? It was not like he was acting like he wanted me to stick around. At the same time...he was not letting me leave. My friend was heading to class..so it was not like we could go hang out or anything. So, really...I am feeling like...was it my fault this time...should I have just kept walking with him and not have stopped to say hello.

Maybe something between us finally would have been put out there. Its like I said...everytime we are alone and finally it seems we can just talk things out ( our feelings), something messes it up. EVERY TIME! And the other thing that gets me is that...he didnt invite me to do anything with him after, I mean...he was like walking with me and we were just walking and talking together, and it was so almost random...I was like thinking to myself...so do I go...or do you want me to stay with you, like go grab something to eat or something? It just felt, random..like he was going to do something....and then it just didnt happen...AGAIN...=/
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 11-01-2008, 10:30 AM
Location: a primitive state
9,262 posts, read 18,775,322 times
Reputation: 10604
Do you really want to waste your time with a man who can't step up to the plate? If he were seriously interested he would have stood there and not let you get away.

Just go about your business and remain friendly. If he wants to spend time with you, he will make it a point to do so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 10:39 AM
Location: Las Vegas, NV
321 posts, read 659,164 times
Reputation: 272
Have you thought about making a move? Maybe just ask him if he's hungry after class next time.. If he's interested in taking things somewhere, he would probably at least be willing to go get something to eat. I'm really shy when it comes to this stuff so I'd probably struggle in this situation as well, but maybe you can build up the nerve and give it a shot.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 11:49 AM
Location: down south
514 posts, read 1,381,114 times
Reputation: 636
so we have 40 years of feminism history, yet women still feel the need to wait for men to make the first move?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 11:50 AM
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,196,829 times
Reputation: 3041
Based upon what you've told us he is interested in you but shy and awkward. No surprise, really, and no big deal..you guys are obviously young and just learning your way.

You should make the first move. Tell him you're sorry that "Sally" (the other gal you began talking to) broke up your conversation the other day beacsue you were having fun. Tell him you like him, would like to hang out with him more and get to know him better. I suspect that is EXACTLY what he is feeling but he's probably too shy to say it. Then set up a day and time to meet somewhere off campus (where you're unlikely to run into your friends) during the day -- a coffee shop, for example. Nothing intense or high pressure -- just a casual, relaxing place where the two of you can talk uninterruptedly. Don't wait for him...you take the lead.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 12:37 PM
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,017,974 times
Reputation: 6011
Any guy worth it is not going to make you "chase" him. Move on, there are better guys worth your time. No need to go chasing one like a love-sick puppy. If a guy wants to kiss you, he will. That's what separates the men from the boys.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 12:37 PM
Location: Land of Free Johnson-Weld-2016
6,441 posts, read 12,946,162 times
Reputation: 6340
Awwww this is so cute. Here is my advice:

1. Don't worry about what he thinks of you. He may feel just as nervous and insecure as you do, if not MORE. I think there may still be hope, though as long as he's brave enough to try to get to study with you again. If not, you may have to ask him for more "help" and then do your best to get him to make the rest of the moves.

2. Get the upper hand. What are you wearing when you talk to this guy? When you meet him, make sure to wear some slightly sexy clothes. Not slutty or low-cut, just clingy clothing like a tight sweater a miniskirt (if it's too short, wear leggings) or form-fitting jeans. Don't show a lot of skin, though. You want to entice him in a non-threatening way. Here are some examples:
http://s7d3.scene7.com/is/image/eFashion/BP-R4A00003_256_front?$BP-ex$ (broken link)
YesStyle.com: Women: HAEGAL: Drawstring Hem Balloon Skirt - Free International Shipping on orders over US$150
YesStyle.com: Women: Cara: Ribbon Accent Balloon Skirt - Free International Shipping on orders over US$150

3. Talk Very Little - Now that your prey is mesmerized, you have to shut up. If he likes the way you look, then talking too much will only make him have second thoughts. If there is a silence, FIGHT the urge to say something unless you have to. Instead of talking, try looking down and then looking back at him slowly to try to get him to say something. Once he feels more confident you can talk more.

4. Give him compliments - When he's helping you let him know when he's helped shed light on something that you really needed help with. You appreciate him. Oooh. If he already likes you and finds you attractive, he might start to get the picture that you may actually like him, too.

5. Vive la difference - You want him to see you as a future sexual and life partner, so you should subtly accentuate the fact that you are a girl, even if you are also a "nerd." Do you wear makeup? If not, I would recommend trying a little lipgloss, blush or eyeshadow/liner. Just a little bit, though. Do you wear perfume? Maybe now is the time to consider wearing a tiny bit of appealing perfume.
Some Light Makeup:
http://www.firstchair.com/Media/EditLiveJava/Graham%20Webb%20BtoB%20Reparative%20Model%202.jpg (broken link)

Now that I have given you this advice, good luck! I have to say that it's fun and exciting to have a crush and be plagued by doubt and insecurity, but there's something to be said about feeling comfortable with your guy. What if you have to belch or scratch your butt or be your retarded self while you're dating your crush? Would you feel comfortable doing that with him? After you have worked your womanly wiles on him, at some point he should let you know that he likes you "no matter what" so that you can enjoy being together and maybe get over the insecurity that you have now. If he doesn't do that, I would drop him and go for some easier prey. Sadly, I know that's easier said than done.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 12:40 PM
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,017,974 times
Reputation: 6011
That is the ugliest skirt I believe I have ever seen.

YesStyle.com: Women: HAEGAL: Drawstring Hem Balloon Skirt - Free International Shipping on orders over US$150

I wouldn't be caught dead in it.

That'll look real great on her if she is hippy. Will add about 10lbs to her midsection.

Farting? Belching? Scratching butt in front of a man? EW. Even after 20 years with my ex-husband I would NEVER.

You're advising her to be a hoochie. Not a LADY.

You are telling her to do ALLLLL that (to be the campus scank) except be herself and use her own sex-appeal, then tell her if he doesn't bite to go after easier PREY?

Sorry hun, not all women see men as PREY.

Bad, bad advice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 12:58 PM
16 posts, read 31,205 times
Reputation: 10
Well, He has already told me that he likes me. This is what I am saying, the thing that confuses me. He told me one day after classes, "you know Ali, I like you, and I am happy that we became friends." He has told me stuff like that before...so I know that he likes me and I like him. We had that whole..we were not friends at all before and now..we have kind of gotten to know each other and we became friends. I find that we bring out the better side in each other. But through all of this, all though we are friends now...and we can pretty much talk about anything. Its just like...our friendship never seems to take a turn into a "relationship". I dont know if this makes sense...=/
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2008, 01:08 PM
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,017,974 times
Reputation: 6011
I know what you mean. Just take it one day at a time. Some of the very best relationships are built on a foundation of friendship. Don't over-think it and PLEASE stay away from that balloon skirt. It'll come. If you think it, you CAN bring it. The man, not the skirt. ;-)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top