U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Halloween!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 11-03-2008, 08:57 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,525 posts, read 7,996,423 times
Reputation: 8079
You're right it's not just guys. But this thread is a PSA for women. I think this situation is more common with women than men.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
By the way, it's not just guys. .
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-03-2008, 08:59 AM
 
24,799 posts, read 26,199,624 times
Reputation: 33272
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
You're right it's not just guys. But this thread is a PSA for women. I think this situation is more common with women than men.
I would agree. I would also add that pushing for a quick relationship is also a warning sign for a potentially abusive spouse.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
973 posts, read 2,061,880 times
Reputation: 1171
Great post Ron! Unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps out there and just as many naive women who are taken in by a handsome face and nice clothes.

When I met my hubby, we worked together so I knew a little about him. When we were out the first time together, I told him I wanted to see his house so I would know he didn't have a wife or girlfriend. I also wanted to make sure he wasn't lying about having a house.

He took it all in stride. Okay, he laughed a little at my concern but said he understood. When we got to his house, I walked straight to his bedroom and opened the closet to look for womens clothes. ( He was grinning like a fool the whole time but I said I wasn't getting involved with any guy who was "taken" and wasn't taking any chances.)

I also made him show me his divorce decree so I would know what was what.
He probably thought I was crazy as a loon but he married me anyway.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,400 posts, read 4,815,654 times
Reputation: 2719
1st- Dont bring 'em home until you've known them for at least 4 months.
2nd- Meet them at the date spot...none of this coming to the door stuff. I mean think about it...if they know where you live then you cant get rid of them nearly as easily. Not only that but if they turn out to be pyscho you could potentially be putting your family and home at risk.

3rd- Follow your gut, cause usually it will tell you when something is wrong.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:03 AM
 
3,105 posts, read 3,594,073 times
Reputation: 521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colddiamond102 View Post
1st- Dont bring 'em home until you've known them for at least 4 months.
2nd- Meet them at the date spot...none of this coming to the door stuff. I mean think about it...if they know where you live then you cant get rid of them nearly as easily. Not only that but if they turn out to be pyscho you could potentially be putting your family and home at risk.

3rd- Follow your gut, cause usually it will tell you when something is wrong.
1 and 2 are really good advice, but I wonder how many people actually follow those...

I figure 3 is a given. Hopefully.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:03 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,525 posts, read 7,996,423 times
Reputation: 8079
I agree also. Thanks for all of your input. Good posts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I would agree. I would also add that pushing for a quick relationship is also a warning sign for a potentially abusive spouse.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:07 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,400 posts, read 4,815,654 times
Reputation: 2719
Quote:
Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges View Post
1 and 2 are really good advice, but I wonder how many people actually follow those...

I figure 3 is a given. Hopefully.
Ive followed those for the most part. Usually within 10 minutes of meeting someone my BS-o-meter has sized them up. That usually determines if I'll have anything to do with them.

Some guys havent liked my little policies though...probably why I havent dated much.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:15 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,177 posts, read 1,993,934 times
Reputation: 447
I don't think it's that we don't ask the right questions, I think it's that we can't imagine that someone who's done all of those things can appear to be normal. I was married for years and had children before I found out the horrors about my husband. There was no way to tell no matter what questions I asked. He came from a great family, was well educated (several graduate degrees), was well spoken, etc...

It turned out that his family had been helping him hide these secrets from me. If the person really wants to fool you, they can. Nowadays, I'm temped to run a background search on everyone who walks into my home. How do you know who to trust anymore?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:19 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,400 posts, read 4,815,654 times
Reputation: 2719
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV View Post
I don't think it's that we don't ask the right questions, I think it's that we can't imagine that someone who's done all of those things can appear to be normal. I was married for years and had children before I found out the horrors about my husband. There was no way to tell no matter what questions I asked. He came from a great family, was well educated (several graduate degrees), was well spoken, etc...

It turned out that his family had been helping him hide these secrets from me. If the person really wants to fool you, they can. Nowadays, I'm temped to run a background search on everyone who walks into my home. How do you know who to trust anymore?
Seems to me thats where your BS-O-Meter should have come into play.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:22 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,525 posts, read 7,996,423 times
Reputation: 8079
You'd be surprised. I can almost bet that if you saw some of the guys that lived in my shelter, you'd never believe they were homeless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV View Post
I don't think it's that we don't ask the right questions, I think it's that we can't imagine that someone who's done all of those things can appear to be normal.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top