U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:28 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,524 posts, read 8,330,746 times
Reputation: 8079

Advertisements

No, this message is not an slap in the face to the ladies, it's more like a PSA.

I was at work last night and some of you on CD know that I manage a mens shelter.

Here's the deal............when you meet "Mr. Right" be sure to ask questions and be sure to get the correct answers.

Here is why I say this: The shelter that I manage has a few guys that I would think many women would consider attractive. I find it it odd that these guys meet as many woman as the do. They do in fact meet these women because they show me texts,photos and tell me about their dates.

I always ask the guys: Do these women know you live in a shelter?
Do these women know about your background( ex-con)
Do these women know about your "habit"?(drugs/drinking)
100% of the time the guys always say: NO, I just lie and make stuff up, I never tell them( the women) about me or my situation.

Ladies be carefull is all I am saying because you never know whom you're meeting and taking home with you.

I am not saying all the guys in my shleter are bad but 95% are ex-cons/drug addicts or a alcoholics.

Just because a guy is good looking,well dressed and speaks well, be cautious. Use your head and common sense.

cr
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:30 AM
 
3,415 posts, read 4,588,890 times
Reputation: 1345
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
No, this message is not an slap in the face to the ladies, it's more like a PSA.

I was at work alst night and some of you on CD know that I manage a mens shelter.

Here's the deal............when you meet "Mr. Right" be sure to ask questions and be sure to get the correct answers.

Here is why I say this: The shelter that I manage has a few guys that I would think many women would consider attractive. I find it it odd that these guys meet as many woman as the do. They do in fact meet these women because they show me texts,photos and tell me about their dates.

I always ask the guys: Do these women know you live in a shelter?
Do these women know about your background( ex-con)
Do these women know about your "habit"?(drugs/drinking)
100% of the time the guys always say: NO, I just lie and make stuff up, I never tell them( the women) about me or my situation.

Ladies be carefull is all I am saying because you never know whom you're meeting and taking home with you.

I am not saying all the guys in my shleter are bad but 95% are ex-cons/drug addicts or a alcoholics.

Just because a guy is good looking,well dressed and speaks well, be cautious. Use your head and common sense.

cr
How can you be sure you are getting the correct answers or that the person is lying?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,132 posts, read 57,055,127 times
Reputation: 38368
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
No, this message is not an slap in the face to the ladies, it's more like a PSA.

I was at work alst night and some of you on CD know that I manage a mens shelter.

Here's the deal............when you meet "Mr. Right" be sure to ask questions and be sure to get the correct answers.

Here is why I say this: The shelter that I manage has a few guys that I would think many women would consider attractive. I find it it odd that these guys meet as many woman as the do. They do in fact meet these women because they show me texts,photos and tell me about their dates.

I always ask the guys: Do these women know you live in a shelter?
Do these women know about your background( ex-con)
Do these women know about your "habit"?(drugs/drinking)
100% of the time the guys always say: NO, I just lie and make stuff up, I never tell them( the women) about me or my situation.

Ladies be carefull is all I am saying because you never know whom you're meeting and taking home with you.

I am not saying all the guys in my shleter are bad but 95% are ex-cons/drug addicts or a alcoholics.

Just because a guy is good looking,well dressed and speaks well, be cautious. Use your head and common sense.

cr
BLESS YOU for taking the time to write this - I can only hope the young women reading will take your words to heart. I am very dismayed by how foolish some of the young women who post here really are.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:35 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,524 posts, read 8,330,746 times
Reputation: 8079
You really can't. All I am saying is be careful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by laysayfair View Post
How can you be sure you are getting the correct answers or that the person is lying?

Last edited by Ron.; 11-03-2008 at 09:47 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:46 AM
 
25,274 posts, read 27,405,587 times
Reputation: 34547
Quote:
Originally Posted by laysayfair View Post
How can you be sure you are getting the correct answers or that the person is lying?
Same way you can tell anybody is lying. Over time, the little nagging inconsistencies will begin to add up.

If you don't commit to a relationship after two dates (And, yes, bedding the guy counts), then you should be able to understand more about the guy. Asking to see his place would be a good start. You can find out way more about a person by the way he or she lives than by what he or she says.

Now, I don't mean subject the poor guy to an inquisition. At the same time, I'm amazed at the guys some women have practically thrown themselves at--then hated themselves later for doing it. Everybody knew it was a train wreck, and she wouldn't listen.

The first requisite for dating anybody should be that they have their act together in life. That doesn't mean that they have to make big bucks. But if somebody can't hold a job, has one personal crisis after another, and gets into situations where it's NOT THEIR FAULT, then you will wind up being the next broken heart in that person's life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:46 AM
 
Location: On our boat!
5,682 posts, read 10,518,030 times
Reputation: 3197
Excellent post Ron! I just don't know about some ladies today! Either very nieve or desperate. A lot of women gets so pissed off when a new man, that they have recently met, lies to them like this......BUT, then again, I'll bet there are a lot of women out there that would lie about the same situation. Although, a lot of people who live in shelters sure don't remind me of a HOT looking Beverly Hills type person! I mean, too much drinking/drugs can take that look away if a person has ever had it. Good thing is, rehab/help can bring those "good looks" back!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:48 AM
 
7,532 posts, read 6,257,225 times
Reputation: 6678
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicagoRon View Post
No, this message is not an slap in the face to the ladies, it's more like a PSA.

I was at work last night and some of you on CD know that I manage a mens shelter.

Here's the deal............when you meet "Mr. Right" be sure to ask questions and be sure to get the correct answers.

Here is why I say this: The shelter that I manage has a few guys that I would think many women would consider attractive. I find it it odd that these guys meet as many woman as the do. They do in fact meet these women because they show me texts,photos and tell me about their dates.

I always ask the guys: Do these women know you live in a shelter?
Do these women know about your background( ex-con)
Do these women know about your "habit"?(drugs/drinking)
100% of the time the guys always say: NO, I just lie and make stuff up, I never tell them( the women) about me or my situation.

Ladies be carefull is all I am saying because you never know whom you're meeting and taking home with you.

I am not saying all the guys in my shleter are bad but 95% are ex-cons/drug addicts or a alcoholics.

Just because a guy is good looking,well dressed and speaks well, be cautious. Use your head and common sense.

cr
How do we know you REALLY manage a shelter??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:52 AM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
13,038 posts, read 22,457,440 times
Reputation: 10243
Quote:
Originally Posted by laysayfair View Post
How can you be sure you are getting the correct answers or that the person is lying?
First, don't ever rush into a romance. Take your time to get to know them before even the first kiss. Find out what they do for work and make sure they really have a job where they say they do. Ask him where he lives, check up on that also. And even if a guy checks out, go slow. If a guy is really likes you and isn't in it for the sex (or the money) he will be patient and not rush you into a relationship.

What I don't get is the women who become penpals with prison inmates, even convicted murderers and then fall in love with them!! How stupid is that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 4,780,369 times
Reputation: 1761
Thank you for putting this up, hopefully less women will be passive and take a more active role in protecting themselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-03-2008, 09:55 AM
 
25,274 posts, read 27,405,587 times
Reputation: 34547
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Excellent post Ron! I just don't know about some ladies today! Either very nieve or desperate. A lot of women gets so pissed off when a new man, that they have recently met, lies to them like this......BUT, then again, I'll bet there are a lot of women out there that would lie about the same situation. Although, a lot of people who live in shelters sure don't remind me of a HOT looking Beverly Hills type person! I mean, too much drinking/drugs can take that look away if a person has ever had it. Good thing is, rehab/help can bring those "good looks" back!
By the way, it's not just guys. My best friend and my brother in law both had these kind of women enter their respective lives, and really screw them up as a result.

My best friend met this girl on a Friday and was engaged to her by the following weekend. Yet, the first time I met her, it was apparent to me that she wasn't truthful about things. In fact, she claimed to have gone to the same small college as me, but I didn't remember her face. Over the next six months, little by little, the lies kept adding up. I didn't investigate her, I didn't talk to my friend about her. But he started wondering himself. Finally, I had him over to my apartment to watch a game, and left my college alumni directory conspicuously on the kitchen counter. Returning from the bathroom, I noticed that it had been moved, which means that Keith had looked up his fiancee in it and not found her name.

A few weeks later, a couple of other things happened. She stole some checks, which led to his getting fired from the bank where he worked. He dumped her immediately. The damage could have been much worse.


My brother-in-law got into a worse scrape. He met this girl at a gym working out. She moved in with him within 48 hours. As it turns out, she had just been thrown out of the house by her husband--but she didn't tell my BIL. He only found out after she had married him. Essentially, she stayed with him long enough to get all her credit cards billed paid off, and then cheated pretty flagrantly on him, even saddling him with a lifetime case of herpes. Yet he never listened to us before he married her. So, as one of his groomsmen during the wedding ceremony, I thought to myself, "I'm participating in a train wreck."


So if anybody, man or woman, tries to rush the relationship thing, then that should be a big, fat red flag.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:36 AM.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top