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Just what your planning on doing! Sometimes you just "gotta do whatcha gotta do" for your own family. My wife's family lives in So Calif and we live in NC (for now). We would love to go to So Cal for Christmas, but finances just won't allow it. Anyway, it was OUR choice to move away from her family. Wife's mom is in her late 80's, but we need to save money for a move to Florida. Thank God her family doesn't call her a "loveless daughter". By the way, why does your brother only want YOU there for Thanksgiving with your parents???
Because they never accepted my wife or any of my children.
I told him i wish I could take his invitation but my wife could not possible take care of the kids, her parents and cook dinner. I said I wish I could but I can't.
Why can't your wife and kids go with you? I know that would be a let down for her parents (unless you can take them too and make a big family event of it?) but these are your parents you're talking about, no one should blame you for wanting to spend ONE Thanksgiving with them.
Of course having said that, I could see how this particular year may not be the best choice for that, being that your wife is 8 months pregnant. What if you suggest it for next year instead? Make the plans sooner and not so last minute so you can work out the details better?
Edit: sorry just saw another reply you made before I managed to post this. I guess in light of your family's attitude towards your wife, I don't really blame you for not going.
My mother hates my wife and would never come up. My kids don't even know my parents. My parents don't even know their birthdays.
Then go by yourself and help your siblings cook up a special meal and call it your own special "thanksgiving" - doesn't have to happen on the actual date of thanksgiving - it just needs to happen.
Sorry, your wife sounds kind of selfish to me. As a mother herself she should be more concerned about how your mothers feelings may be hurt.
Why can't you be both a "man to a wonderful woman and father of three soon to be four children" AND a good son? Seems to me that you need some balance in your life.
It is understandable given your in-laws age and health that you would want to do what you are doing with them for the holiday - but why couldn't you meet your brother half-way by arranging another time you would go to visit your parents - say the weekend after? The fact that you just so cavalierly toss being with them off is probably very hurtful to them, and your siblings who don't want to see them be hurt by your callous behavior.
My wife did not know about the conversation until after the fact.
Why can't your wife and kids go with you? I know that would be a let down for her parents (unless you can take them too and make a big family event of it?) but these are your parents you're talking about, no one should blame you for wanting to spend ONE Thanksgiving with them.
Of course having said that, I could see how this particular year may not be the best choice for that, being that your wife is 8 months pregnant. What if you suggest it for next year instead? Make the plans sooner and not so last minute so you can work out the details better?
Exactly. If he plans it right he can be both a good son AND a good husband. There really is no need to try to only be one or the other.
Then go by yourself and help your siblings cook up a special meal and call it your own special "thanksgiving" - doesn't have to happen on the actual date of thanksgiving - it just needs to happen.
I think it's great that you've make the choice of what's best for your wife this year.
But what I'm curious about is the delivery of said decision.
Did you explain that this year it was possible because of your wife's condition?
Did you get all snooty?
I'm sorry, but there has to be more to this story because no one in their right minds would expect a woman so far along in a pregancy to travel.
They knew my wife was pregnant and it was my brother who was snotty with me. When I told him I couldn't he hung up one me.
They knew my wife was pregnant and it was my brother who was snotty with me. When I told him I couldn't he hung up one me.
Again, your brother just sounds frustrated to me. Are your parents infirm enough that much of their care is falling on him? He could just be crumbling under the weight of that pressure. WHY couldn't you offer him a compromise?
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! Sometimes you just "gotta do whatcha gotta do" for your own family. My wife's family lives in So Calif and we live in NC (for now). We would love to go to So Cal for Christmas, but finances just won't allow it. Anyway, it was OUR choice to move away from her family. Wife's mom is in her late 80's, but we need to save money for a move to Florida. Thank God her family doesn't call her a "loveless daughter". By the way, why does your brother only want YOU there for Thanksgiving with your parents???
