The honest truth... (men, pregnant, partner, casual)

[lola8822]

Originally Posted by SmerkyGrl

That's fair and I suppose the way you spin it makes it less threatening. But any stranger trying to designate themself as "my role model" would normally get me to make a sandwich---a knuckle sandwich!

I know...I hear ya...I'm the same way ....bit of a temper and I don't blame you at all......If I wasn't used to artsy I would have probably reacted the same as you did.....but I guess he's kinda grown on me so I understand a bit more as to where he's coming from.....

[cpg35223]

I mean, who in their single life didn't get a bit of strange with somebody nice and friendly? Did you ever have casual sex and not hate yourself afterwards?

[MommyV]

Originally Posted by lola8822

Yea he totally does of course.....but he came here asking for advice. When you ask for advice you'll get all sorts of sides but ultimatly it's your decision.....all i'm saying is Artsy meant well.....But I do agree, it is Mathguy's decision to make and no one wants to take that away from him.....just advice from a few friends is all

Exactly what I thought.

[2mares]

I've been having a tough time lately with loneliness. Is it too much to ask that I find someone that could also use some general affection? I'm not hurting anyone

Nothing at all wrong with it at all. You wouldnt be human if you didnt feel that way.
Just be warned if/when you do again, it can be adictive.

[MommyV]

Originally Posted by Mathguy

Again, these are FIRST dates from an internet website...I could be an axe murderer for all they know. When it's someone you meet via friends or co-workers or someone you've seen in class for a couple months or have known casually then you have a starting level of trust.

For example, my wife met me via friends....we knew each other a month or so and then started dating. She and I were waking up my roomates by the second or third date if you catch my drift. lol.

Prior to that I had a college friend that I'd known a while who started to date me. Our first date lasted about 9-10 hours and she was on her feet for maybe an hour or two of it.

Did you consider meeting women a different way? I hear great things about the internet sites, and know people that have had great success using them, but it does help to use all options available to you.

If you meet someone at an organization or through a friend, things might move along quicker.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by artsyguy

I'm being serious with you. I hate casual sex. It is the ultimate of greed and vanity imo (besides being a pervert). It is worse than seeing 400 pound people at an all you can eat buffet stuffing greasy food down their throats....

Hey. I resemble that remark........

[Mathguy]

Ok, I was talking with someone privately (thanks, you know who you are) and I got a little clarity.

I think the problem was that I met someone recently that sparked something in me I haven't felt in a while. While they don't really remind me of my wife, the spark does and it made me miss her and sparked a number of emotions in me...including lust, sadness and anger over losing her and the godawful pain of watching her die by inches.

Second, yep, I did come here looking for advice...I reiterate that I have a bad habit of actually listening to people (lol). I appreciate all viewpoints.

I took a drive with my music loud my pedal down and rattled some windows...>500HP has a cathartic effect. I then worked out HARD for an hour and am man enough to admit I even had a good cry. I feel better now.

I'm not going to pick up a bar skank...I'm meeting tons of women right now it's just that I'm at early stages with several of them. If one comes on to me and something clicks so be it but I'm not doing anything dumb.

Best of wishes to all.

[the one]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Oh, stuff it, Artsy, and do (or shall we say NOT do) whatever the hell you want! Some people may be religious and disgusted by your lifestyle.

exactly!!!! some people will cringe at the thought of artsy getting it on period. why are the some of the judged, the most judgemental?



anyhow. i say go ahead. why not have casual sex? its like a reward. a trip to the sporting goods store to buy that fishing rod youve been saving up for.

look at it this way. finally you feel you can have somehting youve been wanting for a while. youve spent time thinking about it. youve saved up. now its time to find the right pole.

of course getting laid with someone who matters more than just a roll in the hay is the ultimate, but sometimes you need to have that release that hangela cant provide.

i say do it. it will also get the kinks out. imagine you wait to do it with someone who matters and it turns out all bad becuase you been out of commission for so long. it could be a deal breaker.

so go out and practice.
if you do find a mate to do the dam thang with, make sure the intentions are clear and you do not lead anyone on.

good luck and be merry

[SandyCo]

MathGuy, I'm glad you found someone from C-D to talk to. Sounds like you got excellent advice, too! If you want something of quality, then you need to be patient, even though it's dfficult. It's also nice to see that you're dating again.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by the one

of course getting laid with someone who matters more than just a roll in the hay is the ultimate, but sometimes you need to have that release that hangela cant provide.

LOL, that's a new one to me!

i say do it. it will also get the kinks out. imagine you wait to do it with someone who matters and it turns out all bad becuase you been out of commission for so long. it could be a deal breaker.

That's a very good point, too.