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Unless I missed something, they're not legally divorced. I don't think anybody's gonna issue a restraining order against a wife who wants to talk with her (still) husband.
I have one against my obsessive ex-husband. Issued shortly after I filed. Happens more than most think.
Sure you can. Just the same way that an estranged wife can have one issued against an abusive husband. After all, if there's a legal separation here, then it's just that: Legal.
It might work differently in other states. We don't have to do legal separations here. Of course, that's not the point... I'm not saying she should impose herself, but many times there are still issues to be discussed (be it just logistics) and he doesn't have the moral right to cut her off entirely.
I don't think the relationship is dead, I don't think 5 years that he says were the best years of his life, could be gone in one year, regardless of the fact hes seeing people. I think there is a chance.
CPG I think you are compeltely right, corner, space and all.
Why not? 20 of the best years of my life were gone in 6 months when the reality finally hit me that they weren't "the best" for what I needed in the future. I outgrew the "best" and wanted and needed "better." When I told my ex that they were the best years of my life, I just did not want to hurt him that I totally outgrew him. I wanted out without causing too much harm. Which backfired, cause when you tell someone that they gave you the best years of your life. . . they read into it and think they can re-create it, they become obsessive. Truth it, it's just a way to ease the blow of a current reality. It's a twisted solace.
It might work differently in other states. We don't have to do legal separations here. Of course, that's not the point... I'm not saying she should impose herself, but many times there are still issues to be discussed (be it just logistics) and he doesn't have the moral right to cut her off entirely.
Morally, that depends. We have no idea why the fight happened between them. If he is reacting this strongly, something major happened that affected him and why he is listening to his family chirp in his ear. I can bet it was not a fight about the toilet seat lid being left up. Until more info is given about the reason for the final blow-up. . . morality is debatable.
I don`t know. Being with someone for 5 years, and then getting married, for 5 short months...meh....it sounds like they did not split over a major issue like an affair, abuse, etc.
If she would just back off, then she might have a chance...then again, ..maybe not, but she is wanting, and willing to try to save her marriage.
I realize that he has pretty much slammed the door in her face, but if she is willing to go for the fight, then more power to her. She just needs to go about it, the right way, and face what may, or may not happen.
I don`t know. Being with someone for 5 years, and then getting married, for 5 short months...meh....it sounds like they did not split over a major issue like an affair, abuse, etc.
If she would just back off, then she might have a chance...then again, ..maybe not, but she is wanting, and willing to try to save her marriage.
I realize that he has pretty much slammed the door in her face, but if she is willing to go for the fight, then more power to her.
See, I look at it completely differently. He decided that he didn't want anything to do with her, and is still talking to her as a way to cushion the blow. Yes, misguided, I know. The fact that he does not want to see her, no way no how, speaks volumes.
If this is truly the case, you'd have to be truly daft to fly to his house and knock on his door. It's borderline creepy, and will only serve to underscore the feeling that he's being stalked by an ex. Plus, if his family is already having issues with her, he'll be more inclined to listen to them, not less.
In short, the OP needs to chill out and grow up. Because these games only work in Hollywood.
I took a job transfer from Cali to Ohio, he came with me. I was then offered to transfer to Florida. He agreed and was excited; but his parents got all in his head about how we are moving for my job, and how Ohio is closer to his fam, and the cost of living in Florida.
A couple of months before the move he said he didn't want to go to Florida, he wanted to stay in Ohio, we had a fight, but then he was cool - he was talking about going to all the beaches in Florida.
I left Ohio in Aug for my job in Florida, he stayed in Ohio for his until Oct. He came down October 3rd - and was all pissy and riled up because he stayed with his sister in Nashville, and she got all in his head about Florida, how we moved for my job, how I didn't think his job was important, how it was hot and other crap.
The big fight was about how he didnt want to move to Florida. I said I thought he did, that he was excited? He said he wasn't and I should have known better. He told me if I wanted to be with him I would move back to Ohio or to Nashville. I thought he was just upset. The next day he drove back to Nashville and that was it. He thinks I didn't care about how he felt, but I didn't know about how he felt. I was upset because I couldn't understand wtf happened, and that my feelings and what I wanted werent as important as what he wanted.
his friends say that he still loves me and that he doesn't want to see me because it will change his mind about the divorce, and his lawyer said not to see me until the divorce is over.
See, I look at it completely differently. He decided that he didn't want anything to do with her, and is still talking to her as a way to cushion the blow. Yes, misguided, I know. The fact that he does not want to see her, no way no how, speaks volumes.
If this is truly the case, you'd have to be truly daft to fly to his house and knock on his door. It's borderline creepy, and will only serve to underscore the feeling that he's being stalked by an ex. Plus, if his family is already having issues with her, he'll be more inclined to listen to them, not less.
In short, the OP needs to chill out and grow up. Because these games only work in Hollywood.
If she is still legally married to him, then it's not stalkerish to visit him unannounced. Even if the visit doesn't go well, it's a way for the O.P. to face reality. The husband avoiding her is him being a ***** and not stepping up and taking action to legally end the divorce. Currently, both their lives are in limbo.
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..maybe not, but she is wanting, and willing to try to save her marriage.
