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I believe the previous posters. If nothing else, it sounds like he is getting some enjoyment out of playing with your mind. I would think most men would want someone to stand on their own feet and not feel so desperate.
What do you think would happen if you did not contact him? He is telling you that he wants a divorce and that he is seeing other people. If I were in your situation, I would not allow someone to treat me like this. You deserve someone that loves you as much as you love them, but you have to learn to love yourself first and not allow someone to disrespect you.
Thats it? How did he expect you to just drop everything, after he agreed to make this move with you? Is it that easy for you to just drop your job like that, after a transfer? Hmmm....
It sounds like he is playing the "reverse" game. Give him some space. Good Luck!
That is tough but it looks like you two weren't a good match, didn't get along , and isn't it possible that he is a loser or a big dud? maybe very busy? or very sensitive?
I don't like lack of communication or distance either so I understand your anxiety; however, I think he has moved on and so should you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by turtlesisters
I was with a guy for 5 years and we got married May of 07, we seperated in Oct of 07 after a huge fight. I relocated to the South, and he to the Midwest. We talked on and off for the last year, and now we talk on a regular basis without fighting - the only thing we fight over is not seeing each other. I want to see him - he says he doesnt want to see me. He says he needs a divorce for clarity, and then we would work on getting back together. Last month he started seeing other people. I have asked him numerous times to fly out there for a weekend, and he constantly tells me no, he doesn't want to see me, that we can see each other after the divorce. He says I am forcing him to do something he doesnt want to do by seeing him.
The distance and lack of communication has forced us to grow apart.
I don't know what to do, should I just fly out there and show up and see what happens? Whenever I ask to visit he constantly buys time in one and two month increments.
I know how stupid and dumb this sounds, but it's been a year and I am not hurting or missing him any less.
I regret not moving back to Ohio and Nasvhille with him everyday. The reason I didnt do it was because I didn't want to feel like I loved him or cared about him more than he did for me.
For the last year I've done a lot of thinking, and that was stupid and I regret it. I would rather move to him now, then live the rest of my life without him.
He told me not to move to Kansas City - that he was considering a job offer in Boston or Chicago, and when he decides we can talk about me moving then. I don't know if he's buying himself time, or if it's for real, thats why I think seeing each other would change things.
I regret not moving back to Ohio and Nasvhille with him everyday. The reason I didnt do it was because I didn't want to feel like I loved him or cared about him more than he did for me.
This is the only reason that you didn`t move? Childish, sorry.
I dont think it was childish, I think it was me not wanting to question whether my wants and needs were as important as his. Now thats changed, my choice now is to try to get him back and see if I feel that way, or live the rest of my life thinking I made the biggest mistake ever.
I offered to move there, but hes not sure hes staying there, he said when he decides we can talk about it.
I don't know if he really means that or not though.
I think it was me not wanting to question whether my wants and needs were as important as his.
All that is fine and dandy when you are dating, but once your married, joined as one, well, the head games like this are suppose to stop.
I don`t understand your thinking on this.
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