Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think I explained the entire situation in all these posts...it is hopeless...and done with, and until you walk in someone else's shoes, it is best not to even try to go there....
I have done everything humanly possible to make this work...she was accepted by my family, and I haven't even gotten into detail with the horrible things she has done...
am I angry...yes indeed...first of all, if my son had married someone decent like you, you and I wouldn't even be having this conversation...
2nd, that he has also enabled this to happen is more hurtful then words could ever describe
3rd, once we all went out, right after they were married...he and she were fighting at the bar...I asked her sister, "What the heck is my son so mad about". She replies, "Ohhhhh he's all pissed of cuz she and I have a bet going, which one of us is going to pick up a guy first". In front of her mother in law...would you have done that...great start right...she intended to follow thru with it, to sabatoge our relationship, b/c at the time, she knew I loved her and trusted her very much.
When he is not around, she snaps at me like I'm a piece of dog dirt...and when he is around, she is sweeter then pecan pie...why do you think she does that?
Sorry, but I really get upset with people who think they know about something that they haven't even had a glimpse of...I'm not a lier and neither are any of the other women here who have been going thru the same thing. I would respectfully ask you to kindly read if you like, but not judge, cuz you have 3 of your own boys yet to contend with...I do hope and pray, you never have to experience this, and yes, that God you and your MIL get along...I had a fabulous MIL...the other one was a pain, very controlling, but, she lost her mother at a very young age, she was forced to raise her brothers...she didn't mean me any harm, she was just being a mom...used to fixing things, controlling situations...and she used to really get to me sometimes...but, I would have never, ever talked to her, like my DIL has spoken to me...ever.
and as far as my suggestions...about spending more time with your DIL or MIL, on a quality time basis, all my friends are like that with their DIL's. They love each other and have great relationships, that is why I suggested it...if you don't want to , or don't believe in it, fine...do what you like, I was just trying to reinterate the importance of keeping in touch, b/c girl, we're not going to be around forever, and you have no idea, just how Short life really is. And you won't until your kids start leaving home to start their own lives...once you reach 50, it goes like the wind!
I have been reading this post from the beginning and I have to say that raising3boys is the first person here to actually make any sense.
Cremebrulee, I understand how hurt you have been in this situation, but you are pushing the boundaries and expecting your son to choose between you and his wife of 11 years.
You don't like her, you have made that clear, but it is his choice to be with her and you cannot go into a relationship with your son or dil with conditions. You have no way to judge that your dil doesn't like you because she is threatened by you, I think you are just trying to make yourself feel better.
As an outsider looking in, and as someone who has had similar experiences with in-laws and family, all you are succeeding in doing is pushing your son and HIS family further and further away from you. If there is constant tension between you and your dil, there is no way that your son is going to voluntarily want to spend time with you. You are focusing too much on things that have happened in the past and I have only heard you say what she has done wrong in all this time. I can't honestly believe that you are completely blameless in this situation, as much as you are playing the "poor me" victim.
Your dil doesn't have to like you, you don't have to like her, and your son can choose to be the grown up that he is and live his life however he chooses, with whoever he chooses.
You admitted that he is the baby and only boy in the family. I think you are hanging onto that and giving your son a "job" in your relationship. According to all you have said, you are requiring your son and dil to do things completely your way. I think you need to just cut the cord and let him live his life.
The more you push, the more he is going to retreat. I think you are digging your own grave in this situation and you can put as much blame on the dil as you want, but he chose her and you just have to live with it! Some dils don't actually WANT to spend time with their mils, and vice versa-- what's wrong with that? If it is not someone you would pick as a friend, why would you bend over backwards to get along. Just because she chose a relationship with your son, doesn't inevitably mean she wants one with you.
I agree with the above poster...You can point fingers all you want... He will not 'accept' you until you 'accept' his wife. I think if you want a functioning relationship with your SON'S FAMILY you are going to have to be the bigger person and make the first move.
the DIL really has the say in the functional relationships. If her kids will be around you, if her DH (your son) will be around you, if they will come over for holidays, if you will be invited to birthday parties. These are all things the wife usually has the final say in. USUALLY if things are not jiving with the wife, they just won't jive at all.
you said it there....and its a vendetta that will surely come back to haunt someday.
Listen...no one can like everyone...but to carry this thing as far as my DIL has, to acutally forbid my son and grand daughter time with me, is not only cruel, but nasty. We don't have to get along, to like each other, but we can certainly respect each other when we're around one another...you don't get up and walk out just because your not getting all your husband's attention.
My son told me once a long time ago, that she was so bad, he almost left her way in the beginning, before any of this started. He also told me a long time ago, that she needed much more attention then most..yes, she has had a difficult life, but so have an awful lot of other people, it's not a reason to be cruel...it's not a reason for the wife to be jealous, b/c while they were dating he and his friends talked about the times we had together when we were young. She took it very personal...why? they were just making conversation.
To actually know and admit, that it's all in your hands, that you can keep the children from her, and her son from her, I'm sorry but you don't seem to get the hurt your causing. not just her, but him...you have also put him in the positon of having to choose, or you have chosen for him...and like I said...those women who have come in here who are DIL's and encourage their husbands to spend time with their families are secure and mature women who understand the importance of family. Her mother in law may not be her favoite person in the world, but at least she is hospitiable to her and she encourages conversation. She doesn't get all mad and huffy and spaze out on her husband about his mother.
She doesn't yell at him in front of his mother...and she surely wouldn't keep the children from seeing her, or not invite her to parties...that is cruel and unthinking...while I understand that you MIL, may have done some very unkind things...adding fuel to the fire by using her boy to hurt her and the children...is not right either.
You are right in every other way...he is your husband, you are his choice, his life, but for both of you, there has got to be a life beyond each other and the kids...you have both got to have your own space, your own hobbies...you cannot be together 24/7.
It would be like, if you husband came home with an all expense paid weekend away with the girls..same thing...
Creme-Honestly, your posts are so filled with sadness and hurt. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. You did say over and over it is hard for and outsider looking in. Unfortunately, that is all it is on the Internet.
Here is the very first thing I have seen "looking in"- the first start of this thread is ...I HAVE A ROTTEN DIL. You have set the stage there. Its sad. I cannot speak for your situation, but I know that if things in any of my relationships no matter who they were with became toxic…I let the relationship die for my own peace. Peace and love is what we all need in relationships. If you do not have that, then the relationship is not good.
Relationships are a two way street. You bring up so many hurtful things that your dil and so did to you ,there is no way of erasing all those events. Its like the tab list keeps on going. How can they live up to what you want if you keep ALL those lists of hurtful things?
I have noticed that you have put lots of energy and thought into ALL of your posts to the people that have answered your OP. Why not try to put ALL that energy and love into REBUILDING the relationship? Write to your son and DAUGHTER IN LAW . Pour your love in the letter. Try not to attack.
I know you mean well and only want the relationship to be strong. Tell them YOU ARE SORRY for everything YOU did. ( Even though you might not think you did anything wrong.) Tell them you want to start of over. DO NOT BRING UP THE PAST.
Be prepared however that your family could possibly think that the relationship is too toxic and they want to let things be.
Remember- You can ONLY control yourself and HOW you behave. Instead of Reacting to the Situation you think your DIL has caused, be PROACTIVE.
I really hope you find the peace in your heart that you deserve with your son and his family.
you said it there....and its a vendetta that will surely come back to haunt someday.
Listen...no one can like everyone...but to carry this thing as far as my DIL has, to acutally forbid my son and grand daughter time with me, is not only cruel, but nasty. We don't have to get along, to like each other, but we can certainly respect each other when we're around one another...you don't get up and walk out just because your not getting all your husband's attention.
My son told me once a long time ago, that she was so bad, he almost left her way in the beginning, before any of this started. He also told me a long time ago, that she needed much more attention then most..yes, she has had a difficult life, but so have an awful lot of other people, it's not a reason to be cruel...it's not a reason for the wife to be jealous, b/c while they were dating he and his friends talked about the times we had together when we were young. She took it very personal...why? they were just making conversation.
To actually know and admit, that it's all in your hands, that you can keep the children from her, and her son from her, I'm sorry but you don't seem to get the hurt your causing. not just her, but him...you have also put him in the positon of having to choose, or you have chosen for him...and like I said...those women who have come in here who are DIL's and encourage their husbands to spend time with their families are secure and mature women who understand the importance of family. Her mother in law may not be her favoite person in the world, but at least she is hospitiable to her and she encourages conversation. She doesn't get all mad and huffy and spaze out on her husband about his mother.
She doesn't yell at him in front of his mother...and she surely wouldn't keep the children from seeing her, or not invite her to parties...that is cruel and unthinking...while I understand that you MIL, may have done some very unkind things...adding fuel to the fire by using her boy to hurt her and the children...is not right either.
You are right in every other way...he is your husband, you are his choice, his life, but for both of you, there has got to be a life beyond each other and the kids...you have both got to have your own space, your own hobbies...you cannot be together 24/7.
It would be like, if you husband came home with an all expense paid weekend away with the girls..same thing...
Creme
I just don't agree....There is no choosing. My husband has different priorities and respects my feelings. I have young kids and they don't go anywhere without me. She (my MIL) has treated me like garbage. Which is fine...but if she thinks for a minute I am going to sit there with her she is nuts. She has made her bed and now she has to lay in it.
I have never made my husband choose anything. I have told him how I have felt and that was it. He does not expect me to do anything I don't want to do. Believe me, this was never a game of keep away or a choice made by my husband...this was a situation my MIL has created, and this is how we are dealing. It is too bad she is missing out on our family...but there is not a person to blame but herself. IF you expect people to just suck it up and deal,,,it is not going to happen. Your son is not choosing his wife over you...She is his family. She is more important...It sounds like your having issues accepting the fact that your baby boy has different priorities...
JUst think about it...If your own MIL was a witch to you...if anyone was a witch to you,,,you would tell them to take a walk.
HOw long have they been married?
And by the way,,,if my MIL called me "rotten" she could for sure take a walk and not let the door hit her in the you know what...I mean geez...
how disrespectful is that? You come on to a public forum and claim your DIL is rotten and wonder why your son is having issues with you?
I just don't agree....There is no choosing. My husband has different priorities and respects my feelings. I have young kids and they don't go anywhere without me. She (my MIL) has treated me like garbage. Which is fine...but if she thinks for a minute I am going to sit there with her she is nuts. She has made her bed and now she has to lay in it.
your husband will do anything to keep you happy and keep the peace, husbands don't want to think they've lost control...and you were absolutely right, when you stated, you have the power to keep him, you and the children away from her. I knew that right when this started, though, I didn't want to believe it. It was beyond believable. It was pre-orchastrated by her and her sister. How'd you like to sit on a plane going down to visit your son and his new wife, thinking everything is ok, and have to sit beside her sister, while she's telling you, during the whole trip that men are simply to be used...you take what you can get from them and leave. And by the way, her mother made a living out of marring men rich men, and then divorcing them, she abandoned her children. All these years, up until my last trip, I always tried to keep that in the back of my mind when she acted out...telling myself...she was not nearly as fortunate as I am, is it any wonder she feels like she has to fight for my son...heck yeah, this was the very first time in her life, she had anyone love her.
Quote:
I have never made my husband choose anything. I have told him how I have felt and that was it. He does not expect me to do anything I don't want to do. Believe me, this was never a game of keep away or a choice made by my husband...this was a situation my MIL has created, and this is how we are dealing. It is too bad she is missing out on our family...but there is not a person to blame but herself. IF you expect people to just suck it up and deal,,,it is not going to happen. Your son is not choosing his wife over you...She is his family. She is more important...It sounds like your having issues accepting the fact that your baby boy has different priorities...
yes, and it is to bad you are missing out on her (MIL). Young wives want for the first time, to be their own boss in their own homes...MIL's are older...as you grow older for some reason, some of them think out loud and say things that are not meant they way they sound, but the DIL, being young, immature, and set on being the best wife and mother she can be to her family, takes it as a personal attack against their characters and off goes the war. Then she does something to hurt back, and women, my friend, never forget...some can be very cruel and vindictive. Meaning to be or not.
When this started with my DIL...I clamed up...I knew what I had to loose, I was so scared I can't tell you...shocked, and shell shocked, I was seeing someone in her that she never showed before...I was so confused.
Again...my son said, she was so bad, when they first got married, he almost left...he was thinking out loud, he used to do that a lot...but naturally, when this all started, he took her side, why wouldn't he...she is the love of his life. This woman, while he was at work, went in and out of the bedroom, pretending she had a headache, she was nasty to me...I didn't know what was going on. Before that, her and her sister left at 10 to go shopping and didn't come home until late that evening, it was dark. So she starts going in and out of the bedroom snapping at me, when I asked her if there was anything I could do...still not aware of what was going on. Then he walks through the door...she runs out of the bedroom, jumps onto a sofa and right over the back of the sofa into his arms saying "HONEY, I"m sooooo glad your home". I laughed, (still not knowing what was going on) he says, "what the heck". But thought it was weird, her recovery?
You do not know the half of it...the games she played, the people she hurt, even at the wedding which I didn't know until years later. She sent a thank you note to my cousin that said, "Thanks for the stuff???" I was so embarrassed. She treated my entire side of the family very short, rude and aloof.
JUst think about it...If your own MIL was a witch to you...if anyone was a witch to you,,,you would tell them to take a walk.
No, I wouldn't and I didn't. I wasn't raised like that. Now a kid yes, but I was conditioned to respect older people. and by the way, when I was young, there were times, my MIL hurt me, took over, was very controlling...it drove me nuts sometimes...and she said some very out right blunt things...but I was young then, impressionable...of course, I wanted them to like me...I wanted to have a relationship with his family, it was huge and most of them were great people. But never, ever did I talk back to her...and I know she loved me...she was just used to being the matron of the family. Now you might find that strange, but it is true.
Quote:
HOw long have they been married?
11 years....and 2 years ago, after my last visit, I couldn't take it any more...asked him to stay away for awhile and give me time to calm down...I didn't want to say things I'd be sorry for later, I didn't want to cause them to fight, there were health problems I was dealing with...I had tried very hard to let her know, I wasn't a threat to her. But, she can't help it...she has had some very tough times...as a child...this is learned behavior on her part...she is so excessively in need of his attention all the time.
When his father and step mother go down to visit...she goes to work and they get quality time with my son...when I go down, she doesn't work and all we do is sit around and we dont' go tour the town, go to shows, etc. there were some things I wanted to do and see while I was there...at my expense...I wouldn't have expected them to pay, but I wanted so much to show them a good time. Nope, she didn't want to do anything but go to the resturants she chose, I was not even allowed to go back to the one which was my favorite...again, I paid for all the meals. I had a very special necklace, bracelet and earrings made for her, helped design it...couldn't wait to give it to her...all the young girls, who are friends loved it and said, she is going to love this. I gave it to her, she shrugged and said nothing and tossed them aside???? That hurt.
Then I tried to help her in the kitchen...asked her what I could do...she yelled at me, Calm down and go away???? I was shocked. Another time, before when I was visiting, she came home from work, never even took off her coat, came in and started slamming every single cabinet door in the kitchen...she was really abnormally angry. I just cowarded, walked back into the living room, picked up the book I was reading to get out of her way. she walks in her bedroom and slams the door hard and never came out. But, when my son comes home, she is sweet as can be. She tells my son, I ignored her...I treated her rudely and yelled at her. As long as I live, I swear, I have never ever yelled at her.
Quote:
And by the way,,,if my MIL called me "rotten" she could for sure take a walk and not let the door hit her in the you know what...I mean geez...
If anyone in your family treated you, the way I've been treated, DIL, SIL, or otherwise, you woud call them rotten..you have no idea what has been going on, none. And I kept trying, because I knew what your other post said, she had the power to take them away from me. I knew the moment I'd confide the truth to my son, what would happen. He doesn't want to believe his wife is doing this...and by the way, not many men would do any differently.
Quote:
how disrespectful is that? You come on to a public forum and claim your DIL is rotten and wonder why your son is having issues with you?
Yes, I have, indeed, and it feels good, I'm hurt and angry and get very depressed about it...of course I'm going to lash out at her, verbally sometimes...she has driven a wedge, between me and my family, she has done everything in her power to let me know I am not welcome...she has rejected me over and over again...and that's ok...but after a while, you can only feel sorry for someone for so long. She is VERY territorial...no one gets in unless she says so, and the few friends she has, the moment they are not there, she talks about them...she is jealous, and yet, she has everything she ever wanted...my son works 3 jobs to see that she is dressed to kill. Once in the winter, my son put one of those warm snow beanies on my grand daughters head...we wore them all the time, when we were kids...you have to dress warm in the winter. She grabs her and pulls the hat off in anger and says, my daughter is not going out of this house dressed like a homeless person.
I havent' even begun to tip the ice burg here...but if someone treated you, like she has treated me...you'd be a little hot under the color as well. She never gets to come into my home again...and what's more if she does, I am going to confront her in front of my son and ask her why she did these things. And by the way, my son told me once, She will never apologize, she is never wrong. And she displays that character...it's everyone else's fault...
Before they were married she snapped at me...."YOUR all he and his friends talk about!!!" something inside of me, sunk...but I denied it, thought she was having a bad day.
Would you erase emails from your husbands friends, would you erase telephone messages from his friends, family, father, mother??????
It was so bad, he went out and bought a cell phone, made her do the same, they use them as their home phones now.
She is a very angry woman, and half the time, I bet she doesn't even know why she's angry. She hurts anyone who gets in her path and doesn't blink twice. Do you know, that my son's father's side of the family cannot stand to visit them more then 3 days...like me...she is very very aloof to them...they are treading on her territory...she doesn't want them there, so she makes it evident that they are not welcome when he is not around.
My son told me once, you never ever want to get on her bad side, she gets even.
And by the way, I've counseled over this, long and hard, and read, and read...and the counseler told me many things about her MO, that helped me understand...
there is no turning back...
I'm sorry you've had trouble with your MIL...and this will probably make you very angry...I don't mean any disrespect...but you have no idea what I'm talking about, I can only say, I wish you were there...to see it.
She hasn't just hurt me, she's hurt his father, his step brothers, my family, she was so rude at thanksgiving dinner, the only family dinner they spent with us, in all these years...she was aloof to my two sisters and brothers, and my foster mom, was childlike, very naive and trusting...this woman treated her like she was a nobody...
Yeah, she is worse then rotten, and I have to try very hard to keep from hating her.
My family are good people...they are warm and kind...my foster mom, gave so much money food and clothes, to struggling neighbors, you'd be shocked. When her father in law came in for some times a month, she was tickled pink, as we all planned for his visit, or her brother in laws and sister in laws...we had a huge family picnic in their honor, we planned day trips to show them the sights and sounds of our area...I have never known such hostility in a family before...
there is nothing more I can do or want to do...I came on here to vent...to let it out...cuz somedays are down days...you never get over it...it's always there, you do second guess yourself, but in your heart, you know you've tried everything. Sometimes...she'd let me see a side of her that was quite enchanting and fun. But, that was only a few times when my son was around. I'm not you, maybe not nearly as strong as you could be...
Do you know, different times when they came home, I took their pictures...and she made a sour puss on several of them....I mean it was so obvious...sad that she cannot control her emotions and hate.
So yeah, she's rotten and a poop and I feel very very sorry for her, b/c someday, her actions will come back to haunt her. She inside, doesn't believe she has done anything wrong, it's all my fault, she makes up lies that I actually think she believes, and if you try to talk to her, once I did, and she interrupted you right away...and started yelling crazy stuff...so, that never happened again.
I have, written my son an apology, and he hasn't responded, so, it is done. I DIDN'T WANT THIS???? Girls at work hug me and call me their mom...they call me on they're days off...I love people...and I gave my DIL more then the benefit of the doubt...and I fed her ego, the more I tried, the more she rejected me, and she loved that...big time....sorry, but it's true.
yeah, I do get on with my life, the best that I know how, but once in a while, I come into a forum and vent...and I'm very sorry if I offended any DIL...but if you don't truly understand, and I struck a nerve, then, maybe there is a reason why...b/c you truly didn't read the things she's done, you've dismissed them. It's your perogative, to do so...but what I really really wish you would do, is just let it alone...allow me to vent without judgement...just leave it be and get on with your life...
I'm allowed to hurt, and sometimes, forgive me, but it feels like my son has died...he is no longer that happy go lucky fun guy...he's nervous all the time...so nervous he's going to **** her off...I was told by his father, that she even gets mad when my son and his father joke around and bust on each other. We always had fun doing that...your only allowed to joke, when she says it's ok. She denies happiness...she denies conversation, she denies feelings...I was literally afraid to hug my son any more for fear she'd get jealous, and the looks...God, she is filled with hate.
I have good friends, many of them are young girls with little ones...they are very successful girls, happy girls, loyal to their families...love their MIL's. I don't talk about this at work any more, haven't for years...but there were times I was upset and they knew it, so I discussed the issue with them...they to, know me well...I'm not the brightest light on the block, but I am surely not the person my DIL would have you believe...and by the way, they come to me and ask me questions about it...and have said worse things about her then I have. They would never do this to their husbands, and I'm talking 6 young girls here. But the difference is, they are mature, they grew up in a very stable home, with grand parents as influences, aunts and uncles...they are confident and enjoy people...my DIL is so insecure...she can't even go shopping alone...she makes him go with her and do it all, or he stops to pick things up. When they first got married, she did nothing...hardly kept a job...he did the shopping, laundry, ironing....mowing, once I went down to visit and there was no food in the frig, cuz he didn't have time to shop.
Whenever I have company, I fill the frig...take them on daytrips...cook for them special meals, bake. Love entertaining and that is the way I was with all my son's friends....camping, fishing, amuzement parks, drive in movies, with a cooler loaded with sandwhiches and sodas...pop corn, would rent movies, make funnel cakes for them....
My friends and I have pajama parties....we all bring something...we go places together, and when they visit, I pay their way...it's the way I was raised. I don't expect her to be all these things...I don't...but I did expect her to not play games and be sweet and coi whenever my son was around, and then snap at me, give me dirty looks, grab things out of my hands, etc., tell me to calm down and go away. Sheesh...never ever once did I talk to her like that, ever. And believe me, I did get angry, but clamed up. Yanno why, cuz she was pushing me to explode, it's what she wanted. Now, she got what she wanted, but I bet, I surprised her by lasting so gosh darn long.
I have moved on, but it does come back to haunt me, now and then, and the counselor said it would...and during those times, I've got to talk about it, got to let it out...so instead of dumping on my friends, I dump in here and it helps especially when I get support from other women who are going through this.
You say your mother in law is hard...why is it so difficult for you to believe there are some real hard core nasty, vindictive, territorial, immature DIL's out there who will do anything to drive a wedge so she can have her husband all to herself. I was married to a man like this once, so I know better then anyone. They do they're best to cut off all your support lines...(family) even if it takes years...they are very patient, when it comes to their goals, and they don't care who they hurt to get it...its the only life they've known...and you cannot give something, you've never known...they have never known family...and they don't care who they hurt...but someday, all the bad karma one dishes out, comes back to get ya two fold....you can't keep hurting people and get away with it...you can't tell people how to think and feel and what to say...my goodness one time I was even told, that I wasn't allowed to talk about a certain subject. I don't like everything everyone says or talks about, but I would never stop them and say, "I don't want to talk about that". God, how rude. She doesn't know how to listen, she is bored to death by intellectual conversation...all she knows is label dresses, make up and diamonds.
I apologize for the rant.
Creme
Last edited by cremebrulee; 11-11-2008 at 03:49 PM..
OK, there are some naysayers on this forum and I am going to address it head on...there are times when situations are exactly as you read them...they are horrible for no good reason. Blaming someone for her DIL or MIL's response is like implying the bully on the playground was somehow justified in picking his target...maybe the kid came from a different background, was short, was fat, didn't have the same values, not as affluent...
Tell me, how are these victims of bullies any different than what we go through? I know in my case, I have done everything I can think of, a mediator AND family counselor has suggested...am I at fault because I have tried?
Creme has every right to call her "playground bully" rotten...actually, I think her word choices are rather kind.
I am so glad you all have amazing relationships with your in laws...must be nice. With that said, you should be more sympathetic to those of is who were not so fortunate. Not EVERY victim "has it coming" to them for a bad deed...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In front of her mother in law...would you have done that...great start right...she intended to follow thru with it, to sabatoge our relationship, b/c at the time, she knew I loved her and trusted her very much.
alone.
