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old advice-are you better off with them or without them? This is a very personal decision and only you know if you can forgive the lapse. But I do agree it would probably happen again. Cheating to me indicates a lack of character.
Should you take back someone who has cheated on you?
It depends, but only you can decide. First of all, are they begging for your forgiveness? Have they said how very sorry they are? Are they willing to go into counseling to figure out what inside themselves compelled them to do such a distructive thing? If not, the chances are great it will happen again.
Been there, done that. I extended a doomed marriage by five years and never did regain the trust I had for him.
It's a horrible feeling that everytime your SO is late getting home- or takes longer on that trip to the store and your old suspicions and fears return. It ties you up in knots and affects every aspect of your existence.
It boils down to the trust factor.. if there is no trust.. and can not be regained (you would know if you can trust them again) then there is no need to continue the relationship. Trust to me is the number one factor in a relationship.. if you have none.. you have no relationship.
I couldn't, wouldn't and haven't. Once a cheater, always a cheater....and it probably wasn't the first time...anyone who cheats on their spouse is the lowest form of slime....they cannot be trusted, they cannot be trusted with your heart....they are insecure and most assuridly for themselves, don't care about the people's lives they hurt or ruin.
Sorry, I have not even the slightest affection or compassion for someone who cheats...and even less for those who cheat with them....
I have a friend who is asking the same question now. I told him this same advice. Chances are if you are the kind of person that doesn't easily forgive and forget, you are never going to get over the fact that your loved one cheated on you. You will always wonder what he / she is doing when you are not around. The thought will always be in the back of your mind (and this friend is like that). On the other hand, if you are easy to forgive and believe in giving second chances, then by all means. I think everyone is allowed to make mistakes, hopefully learn the first time from their mistakes and then you forgive and move on. You need to take some time for yourself and really evaluate the situation. If you know how, when, why it happened (because it's never an accident) then you should use that information and figure out what you need to do. If this was a serious relationship and it never happened before, then maybe you can take that into consideration as well. For me personally, if my fiance cheated on me, it would be devastating and I would have a hard time trusting again. I think if it was a one time mistake and he really showed he regretted that decision then I might forgive but it would be a long time before the trust would come back. If I cheated on him, it would be over, he would not be as forgiving as I - we have discussed this and that's how it is. We are not the cheating types anyway.
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That depends. Is this a spouse or a significant other? If its a spouse, do you have children?
If this is just someone you're dating who can't keep from cheating, I think that's an excellent indication that you should find someone else.
If this is a spouse it requires more careful consideration. If you have kids, you may have more incentive to forgive an offense.
My parents had an episode when I was very young. They worked it out for my sake. It was very rough going for a while, but things eventually returned to normal and there have not been any issues since.
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