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I'm sorry, but can I ask what you are referring to as the mostrous screwup? Are you talking about the marriage itself, ever getting hooked up together in the first place, my admitting I was wrong for lying or what exactly? We are talking about repairing our family and our relationship with lots of help from counseling. Not everyone is perfect and I don't believe anyone has a perfect marriage, or are there perfect marriages? If you have one please share about it with me.
You could get married to him again, but put a time limit on it. Have a marriage that is only 1 year long with an option to renew. Include an instant termination clause in the event that either of you finds a better model.
Alternately, you could have a marriage that alternates every other year. You are married for a year and then not married the next year, the following year you are married again. Just remember if you get married to someone else during an off year to include a termination clause in your new marriage.
Alternately, you could each marry two or three different people at the same time and then just hang out with the spouse that you like best at any given moment. That way if you feel he is being controlling, you could switch to a less controlling spouse for a week.
You must think my ideas are silly. It looks like I do not take marriage seriously at all eh? Well. . . . . . . . .
Counselling is a good idea. Learning what marriage is before you try it again might be a good idea too. Why not call Dr. Laura and see what she has to say to you (if you do pleae let us know in advance, I want to listen).
Why do you say counseling is dumb?
What is love, anyway? Does anyone think we are still in love? Could it be we have something worth fighting for and I made some terrible maistakes and bad judgements and choices?
Why do you say counseling is dumb?
What is love, anyway? Does anyone think we are still in love? Could it be we have something worth fighting for and I made some terrible maistakes and bad judgements and choices?
Try attending a marriage conference w/ your ex (eg., google "Weekend to Remember" marriage conference)
counseling is d u m b unless you are way dumber than the counselor
Exactly the response I would expect from you having read several of your innumerable posts! I am glad that the OP recognizes that she needs outside help. I am a very strong person today but owe much of what I became to a counsellor who I found MANY years ago who was the "right fit" for me (a few others before that were miserable failures and fit the bill where your comment is concerned.) Cheers!
You said from your first post.."Well, I think I am still in love with him."
You need to find out for sure, if you are, or you are not, before you consider getting your marriage back....THEN, sit down and make some responsible decisions on what you want out of life, and what the two of you can do diffrently, to make your marriage work.
It takes two, so if you want it bad enough, give up the ex, get your sh*t together, and see what you can do to make it work. Good luck!
Exactly the response I would expect from you having read several of your innumerable posts! I am glad that the OP recognizes that she needs outside help. I am a very strong person today but owe much of what I became to a counsellor who I found MANY years ago who was the "right fit" for me (a few others before that were miserable failures and fit the bill where your comment is concerned.) Cheers!
Your right... my life sounds a little crazy doesn't it?
I had a long talk with the last ex today, and the second ex, also, and I see too many red flags and I need to stay just like I am where I am, grieve this relationship and failed marriage, work on me, and take care of my children and love them with all I have. They are the most important relationships in my life right now. Not what could haves or should haves or what he thinks, or what anyone thinks about me should bother me at all right now.
Thanks!
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