Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, my hubby and I share all our passwords for all our internet stuff...last night, I logged on to check his mail for him, ie with his permisson, and found a new message from a dating site thingy...so what did I do, of course I went and checked it out. I know his password for everything so I was correct when I typed in the user and password...here is the omg part. I find out that four days before he told me that he was in love with me, he registered and set up his profile---stating his SINGLE status. My reaction to this was to ask him when EXACTLY he knew he loved me...I said I was shocked because at this time, I thought we where a "we". He hit the roof...so long story short...He told me that he had saved all my texts and old emails from before we moved in together and was gonna show me that I did him the same way. I called BS...so needless to say, I slept on the couch. The last thing he said to me was "just because I am pissed, doesn't mean I don't love you". My question is...how was I wrong to just say I was shocked that I thought we were something else than he obviliously did? How is that wrong? What to do? He is like, "you just need some space!!!" Now what?
Well, my hubby and I share all our passwords for all our internet stuff...last night, I logged on to check his mail for him, ie with his permisson, and found a new message from a dating site thingy...so what did I do, of course I went and checked it out. I know his password for everything so I was correct when I typed in the user and password...here is the omg part. I find out that four days before he told me that he was in love with me, he registered and set up his profile---stating his SINGLE status. My reaction to this was to ask him when EXACTLY he knew he loved me...I said I was shocked because at this time, I thought we where a "we". He hit the roof...so long story short...He told me that he had saved all my texts and old emails from before we moved in together and was gonna show me that I did him the same way. I called BS...so needless to say, I slept on the couch. The last thing he said to me was "just because I am pissed, doesn't mean I don't love you". My question is...how was I wrong to just say I was shocked that I thought we were something else than he obviliously did? How is that wrong? What to do? He is like, "you just need some space!!!" Now what?
Seriously, how long ago did this happen? You're married now right?
Were you looking for an argument? Are you that insecure?
This is sooooooooooooo sweating the small stuff.
I think that timing is everything. If your SO just happened to tell you he loved you the same timeframe as registering on a singles site really shows he planned carefully. First, boost your trust so that he can play. Sorry, but true. I've been there myself on both ends and know the signs.
I think you were right to bring it up and the fact that he got all defensive about it would be another red flag for me. I don't know that he has done anything yet but I think the signs are there that he's considering it or it could be as simple as him needing an ego boost. Either way, nip it in the bud now and try something to make your lives more exciting.... in the bedroom.
Ooooh, that's not good! Don't do anything harsh but I would sit him down and talk to him when he gets home...perhaps the time away while he is at work will settle him down...btw, he had no reason to be defensive if he did nothing wrong...
Quote:
Originally Posted by msmason8
Well, my hubby and I share all our passwords for all our internet stuff...last night, I logged on to check his mail for him, ie with his permisson, and found a new message from a dating site thingy...so what did I do, of course I went and checked it out. I know his password for everything so I was correct when I typed in the user and password...here is the omg part. I find out that four days before he told me that he was in love with me, he registered and set up his profile---stating his SINGLE status. My reaction to this was to ask him when EXACTLY he knew he loved me...I said I was shocked because at this time, I thought we where a "we". He hit the roof...so long story short...He told me that he had saved all my texts and old emails from before we moved in together and was gonna show me that I did him the same way. I called BS...so needless to say, I slept on the couch. The last thing he said to me was "just because I am pissed, doesn't mean I don't love you". My question is...how was I wrong to just say I was shocked that I thought we were something else than he obviliously did? How is that wrong? What to do? He is like, "you just need some space!!!" Now what?
Seriously, how long ago did this happen? You're married now right?
Were you looking for an argument? Are you that insecure?
This is sooooooooooooo sweating the small stuff.
the month we moved in with each other...yes we are...no I was not being ugly at all...I am not insecure....nor am I stupid...validating someone's honesty in a relationship is not "sweating the small stuff"...I am no child, and this is not my first go-round.
the month we moved in with each other...yes we are...no I was not being ugly at all...I am not insecure....nor am I stupid...validating someone's honesty in a relationship is not "sweating the small stuff"...I am no child, and this is not my first go-round.
Ok, I know that sounded like I was saying those things so I'm sorry it came off like this.
So, now I'll ask....how long have you been married and has he EVER given you real reason to doubt him before?
This is why there is always more to the intial stories.
Well, my hubby and I share all our passwords for all our internet stuff...last night, I logged on to check his mail for him, ie with his permisson, and found a new message from a dating site thingy...so what did I do, of course I went and checked it out. I know his password for everything so I was correct when I typed in the user and password...here is the omg part. I find out that four days before he told me that he was in love with me, he registered and set up his profile---stating his SINGLE status. My reaction to this was to ask him when EXACTLY he knew he loved me...I said I was shocked because at this time, I thought we where a "we". He hit the roof...so long story short...He told me that he had saved all my texts and old emails from before we moved in together and was gonna show me that I did him the same way. I called BS...so needless to say, I slept on the couch. The last thing he said to me was "just because I am pissed, doesn't mean I don't love you". My question is...how was I wrong to just say I was shocked that I thought we were something else than he obviliously did? How is that wrong? What to do? He is like, "you just need some space!!!" Now what?
Doesn't sound to me like he's trying to hide anything - he's shared his passwords and he gave permission for you to check his email. This stuff happened before you were married right - so he WAS single, right??
One thing you need to know about some guys, they like to hedge their bets. He knew how he felt about you, but he probably was a bit insecure about where your relationship was going, so he registered on that site to have a "fall back" plan. Then, it looks like as things turned out he was able to tell you how he felt, you felt the same way, and then he didn't need the fall back plan. I'd take a few deep breaths here and move on.
Ok, I know that sounded like I was saying those things so I'm sorry it came off like this.
So, now I'll ask....how long have you been married and has he EVER given you real reason to doubt him before?
This is why there is always more to the intial stories.
We have been married almost a year, and no outside of lengthy conversations with his ex wife that have been a topic of discussion before, nothing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
