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Old 11-17-2008, 06:31 PM
 
702 posts, read 1,978,111 times
Reputation: 649

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My husband left last week to move to another state, mainly to find work. We moved to Southern NM about 15 months ago and he never really liked it, complained about everything, did nothing. Meanwhile, I was able to find a good job with a great company, got involved in a few community events, and love working in my garden & yard year-round. He became so bitter and we were so unhappy - the marriage was 100% joyless - he decided to move to Oregon to look for work, and I encouraged it.

But now...it's only been a few days and I feel totally alone. There's no one to yell at, and I get easily spooked at night being home alone. I have two firearms for protection, hope I never have to use them.

There's a million little projects I could be working on and savoring the quiet time I haven't had for so long, but I just feel lost. I know a few people here, but don't have any real friends. I'm more of a loner and most people think I'm weird because I'm so quiet.

Maybe things will be better in a few days after I get used to the new routine. I don't know how long we'll be separated, but I have no interest in moving to Oregon because of the gloomy winters. I doubt he'll move back to Southern NM unless he can't find work and becomes homeless. I had an intense dream last night that he had met someone else and had sex with her. I woke up really depressed.

Ideas for coping all alone? I'm already thinking about taking a class and volunteering once a week.
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Old 11-17-2008, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
11,192 posts, read 24,740,799 times
Reputation: 3967
You'll be surprised, he'll probably be back before you know it. Keep yourself busy and join groups or volunteer. It happened to me 2 years ago. My DH hated FL. He was sure he was moving back to PA. He stayed there 2 months, sure enough, he came back. Actually when he came back, things were a little more spiced up b/c we missed eachother so much. I could never go back to PA b/c of the long gloomy winters either, so I hear ya! Hang in there!
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Old 11-17-2008, 06:48 PM
 
24,843 posts, read 30,252,766 times
Reputation: 11395
Get a puppy!!!!
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Old 11-17-2008, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 5,737,926 times
Reputation: 8560
I hope he comes back soon; couples who are apart like this - well, at first the wife feels like you do; then most become used to being alone so it's difficult when hubby returns.
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Old 11-17-2008, 06:56 PM
 
702 posts, read 1,978,111 times
Reputation: 649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Driller1 View Post
Get a puppy!!!!
No thanks. I don't want the responsibility of having a pet.
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Old 11-18-2008, 04:00 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,002 posts, read 17,782,787 times
Reputation: 5419
How about some gardening, pop in a work out dvd, or join a gym.
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Old 11-18-2008, 04:33 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,265 posts, read 18,784,772 times
Reputation: 10622
Just go about living your life. Gradually you'll get used to it and you will probably like it.

I don't know what to say about your husband. Every time I write something, it's not particularly nice.
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Old 11-18-2008, 02:18 PM
 
83 posts, read 205,815 times
Reputation: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by fnord View Post
My husband left last week to move to ........ l alone? I'm already thinking about taking a class and volunteering once a week.
Be patient and wait for near future..
many times we dislike things, but we find there are good when we look at them from another views.
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Old 09-07-2012, 10:59 PM
 
Location: Virginia
475 posts, read 672,137 times
Reputation: 418
There is always the pool boy or gardner. Just a thought.
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Old 09-07-2012, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Great Plains
25,587 posts, read 29,399,311 times
Reputation: 22713
Quote:
Originally Posted by steven r. View Post
There is always the pool boy or gardner. Just a thought.
Yup, even more so 4 years after the fact.

Last edited by SD4020; 09-07-2012 at 11:16 PM..
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