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Hey everyone. After reading through some of the posts on here I thought this would be the perfect place to get some advice with dating.
I am 25 years old, and recently out of a 3+ year relationship. I've only had a total of 3 boyfriends so not a ton of dating experience.
I have been hanging out with this guy who is 30 years old (he's a doctor) for about a week and a half and we have hung out 4 times. The first date we had drinks and appetizers, the second date we went to a lounge and that was our first kiss, the third date he met me at this school party I had to go to (I'm a law student) and I ended up going over to his place after and spent the night (no sex). Then last night I went over and we played a board game and watched a movie and I spent the night again.
The third date when things were getting hot and heavy, I told him that I really wanted to take it slow and that sex was not an option until I got to know him better. However, I am very sexually attracted to him and last night we technically had sex (you know one of those one thrust deals - I know, I know....) and then I stopped it. When I push him away and tell him to stop, he stops and then we just went back to cuddling and making out.
I'm still going to hold off on having sex for a bit but how do I know if he's interested in more? He says he wants to get to know me better and we have good conversations. I've had a lot of fun with him when I've spent time with him. I just want to get to know him more b/c I'm looking for a long term relationship, not just a friends with benefits thing. How should I proceed? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
If you're interested in a LT relationship, then stop treating him like a rebound. Staying over and being that physical this quick.. well, no secret you're attracted to him, but so far a lot of what you have with him is based off physical. The best and most enduring relationships (friendships, lovers, SO's) are the ones that you actually take time and invest it. You don't spend the night (sex or "no sex") after only knowing each other 1.5 weeks. You do that for one nighters and FWBs.
So far, you're doing a great job at teasing him and giving him some tail to chase, but it doesn't have much substance behind it!
Hmm, I don't know how dating works for most people, guess I can't respond that intelligently. But I do know that (and yeah this kind of shocks me, but whatever) most girls responding to threads about how long they date a guy before having sex, it's between 3-5 dates. Not weeks, not months, etc. It's just dates. And lots of relationships develop after that.
Honestly if I have to date a girl for 3 months before we can even get physical at all, jesus christ, no thanks. Life isn't THAT long. I want to be making some physical progress after 5 to 7 dates anyway, and if it's a date a week kind of thing I want quicker results, like at least some sort of action 3-5 dates in. It doesn't make me think less of the girl. It makes me think she's a prude if I have to wait months for it.
If you're really committed to just wanting to know him better, try to plan dates where you don't have a lot of alone time.
Movies, dinner, bowling, going for a walk downtown, etc.
You should just let him know that you want a long term relationship [if you already haven't] and ask him to tell you what HE wants out of it.
You two might have different expectations.
How much do you two talk on the phone?
It's sometimes good just to set aside time and talk considering you want to get to know him more.
Hey everyone. After reading through some of the posts on here I thought this would be the perfect place to get some advice with dating.
I am 25 years old, and recently out of a 3+ year relationship. I've only had a total of 3 boyfriends so not a ton of dating experience.
I have been hanging out with this guy who is 30 years old (he's a doctor) for about a week and a half and we have hung out 4 times. The first date we had drinks and appetizers, the second date we went to a lounge and that was our first kiss, the third date he met me at this school party I had to go to (I'm a law student) and I ended up going over to his place after and spent the night (no sex). Then last night I went over and we played a board game and watched a movie and I spent the night again.
The third date when things were getting hot and heavy, I told him that I really wanted to take it slow and that sex was not an option until I got to know him better. However, I am very sexually attracted to him and last night we technically had sex (you know one of those one thrust deals - I know, I know....) and then I stopped it. When I push him away and tell him to stop, he stops and then we just went back to cuddling and making out.
I'm still going to hold off on having sex for a bit but how do I know if he's interested in more? He says he wants to get to know me better and we have good conversations. I've had a lot of fun with him when I've spent time with him. I just want to get to know him more b/c I'm looking for a long term relationship, not just a friends with benefits thing. How should I proceed? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Chance2jump said it all. This is a rebound.
And if you've "technically had sex," you can't go back. Even if you 2 weren't naked during the hump-a-thon, that's intimate enough, and if you made out, he touched you and then some.
it'd take a lot of self-control and patience on this doctor's part to accept any request on your part to slow down. As a man who has had women ask me to slow down (and I didn't always listen, and I paid the price for listening to my gonads and not to the woman), I speculate the odds are he won't be patient from now if he got so much so soon.
If it doesn't work out, cut your losses and take your time before getting that intimate with somebody. This from a man who has historically gotten physical relatively quickly.
Hey everyone. After reading through some of the posts on here I thought this would be the perfect place to get some advice with dating.
I am 25 years old, and recently out of a 3+ year relationship. I've only had a total of 3 boyfriends so not a ton of dating experience.
I have been hanging out with this guy who is 30 years old (he's a doctor) for about a week and a half and we have hung out 4 times. The first date we had drinks and appetizers, the second date we went to a lounge and that was our first kiss, the third date he met me at this school party I had to go to (I'm a law student) and I ended up going over to his place after and spent the night (no sex). Then last night I went over and we played a board game and watched a movie and I spent the night again.
The third date when things were getting hot and heavy, I told him that I really wanted to take it slow and that sex was not an option until I got to know him better. However, I am very sexually attracted to him and last night we technically had sex (you know one of those one thrust deals - I know, I know....) and then I stopped it. When I push him away and tell him to stop, he stops and then we just went back to cuddling and making out.
I'm still going to hold off on having sex for a bit but how do I know if he's interested in more? He says he wants to get to know me better and we have good conversations. I've had a lot of fun with him when I've spent time with him. I just want to get to know him more b/c I'm looking for a long term relationship, not just a friends with benefits thing. How should I proceed? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
You spent one night with him, with no sex, and then you spent a night with him and let him stick it in and then pushed him off. If I were this guy I would look for someone who knew what she wanted and wasn't just trying to tease me. It seem that you are just experimenting with your ability to be controlling. Give the guy a break, get your head straight first, and then get back into the dating scene. JMHO
You spent one night with him, with no sex, and then you spent a night with him and let him stick it in and then pushed him off. If I were this guy I would look for someone who knew what she wanted and wasn't just trying to tease me. It seem that you are just experimenting with your ability to be controlling. Give the guy a break, get your head straight first, and then get back into the dating scene. JMHO
Good point, and I'll also say to the OP that: you are LUCKY he didn't ignore your "pleas." Many men would've forced themselves in and finished the act - and if you were to cry 'rape,' I believe the odds would've been against you because you were OK with everything until he began to... enter.
Tanker's right. Get your head straight and think before taking off your panties.
Good point, and I'll also say to the OP that: you are LUCKY he didn't ignore your "pleas." Many men would've forced themselves in and finished the act - and if you were to cry 'rape,' I believe the odds would've been against you because you were OK with everything until he began to... enter.
Tanker's right. Get your head straight and think before taking off your panties.
lol, any guy who does that is a total jerk. If the girl says no, it's over, that's it. Doesn't matter when it happens. It may suck, but no means no.
Just stating the truth... many men will not stop when they've gotten to that point.
I guess so.
I have known some girls who were real teases and for me I dumped them right then. It's just really not cool. Being generous sometimes has its drawbacks, like a girl takes things to a physical level, teases you, touches you, then you start doing something for her, you make her happy, and then she stops. Nothing for you. Or does something for a minute or two, then says that's it, she doesn't want to do anything else. Haha, that's not cool, when you take a guy to that point of being physical then pull back it's unfair I think.
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