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Old 11-24-2008, 10:36 PM
 
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Old 11-25-2008, 12:57 PM
 
Location: TX
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A few of my friends who got divorced definitely regret not having their respective wife sign a pre-nup. There's also the concept of post-nup, too. (I created a thread on this in this sub-forum several months ago.)
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Old 11-25-2008, 01:57 PM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
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^ you must have some ballin' friends........seriously....a pre-nump just means "hey...I know we won't last so can you sign this so that I can ********* before and after we get divorced?" lol

No thanks...plus I like to keep up with my man financially so there shall not be a need for that.

sooooooo tacky.
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Old 11-25-2008, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Austin
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I wouldn't be offended.
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Old 11-26-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: SRQ ~ Siesta Key
4,232 posts, read 8,342,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron. View Post
Let's say you become involved with someone that has signifigant financial assets. Not a whole lot, be enough to where they have no financial worries or concerns.

They had their assts before you became involved. They want to protect their assets and ensure that they are not wiped out in the event of a divorce.

Would you be offended if your spouse asked you to sign a pre-nup?

Edit: One person has assets and the other does not.


PS: Notice I did not say he/she. It could be either or doing the asking. The gender is not important.
I would not be offended....I would expect them to sign my pre-nup as well.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:28 PM
 
Location: TX
5,413 posts, read 10,695,845 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lola8822 View Post
^ you must have some ballin' friends........seriously....a pre-nump just means "hey...I know we won't last so can you sign this so that I can ********* before and after we get divorced?" lol

No thanks...plus I like to keep up with my man financially so there shall not be a need for that.

sooooooo tacky.
On the flip side, people are naive if they think they'll never get divorced. No one gets married thinking they may get divorced later on. But half the time, that's what happens. Some people change or don't change, both of which often lead to divorces.

Asking for a pre-nup doesn't mean you want to get divorced in the future. It means you want each other to be protected if you happen to land on the wrong side of the 50%.
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:47 PM
 
Location: SUNNY AZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
On the flip side, people are naive if they think they'll never get divorced. No one gets married thinking they may get divorced later on. But half the time, that's what happens. Some people change or don't change, both of which often lead to divorces.

Asking for a pre-nup doesn't mean you want to get divorced in the future. It means you want each other to be protected if you happen to land on the wrong side of the 50%.
This is true....
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Old 11-26-2008, 01:51 PM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,422,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
On the flip side, people are naive if they think they'll never get divorced. No one gets married thinking they may get divorced later on. But half the time, that's what happens. Some people change or don't change, both of which often lead to divorces.
On the other hand, it's also naive to think that a pre-nup will prevent a messy divorce. Quite often, parties in a divorce litigate merely out of bitterness. There is no way to use a contract to make your future spouse retain her/his rationality, decency etc. in a divorce. There are some things that a pre-nup just cannot accomplish.

By the way: the divorce rate is less than 50%. Really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
Asking for a pre-nup doesn't mean you want to get divorced in the future. It means you want each other to be protected if you happen to land on the wrong side of the 50%.
Nope. Sorry. Wrong. Asking for a pre-nup does not mean you want "each other" to be protected -- it means you want to protect yourself. If a client hires me to draft a pre-nup, my job as a lawyer is to screw his beloved to the fullest extent of the law. As I previously said, if you intend to ask your fiance to sign a pre-nup, do not tell him/her that your intention is to protect their assets (unless that actually is your intention). It sounds like something conciliatory to say, but inasmuch as negotiating a pre-nup is an adversarial procedure, and you are dealing with legal issues here, it is vitally important that you don't make a misrepresentation. When you are contemplating divorce (as you do when you are negotiating a pre-nup), you are acting as your fiance's adversary; thus any statement to the effect that you are looking out for their interests is actually a lie -- their interests in this instance are adverse to yours. Misleading your future spouse about the purpose of the pre-nup is one of the surest ways to have it invalidated in a divorce.

Last edited by Redisca; 11-26-2008 at 02:00 PM..
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:10 PM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,422,161 times
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By the way: the platitudes that people often offer in favor of prenups are the very reason I probably would not sign one. I mean, people just lie so much when they want a prenup signed. "It's an insurance policy, blah, blah, blah", "It's gonna strengthen our marriage, blah, blah, blah", "It's just something to protect us in the event of trouble", "I just want to protect us", "It's to protect each other" and so forth and so on. Here is the basic fundamental fact: There is no "us" in a prenuptial agreement. There is no "each other". There is only you versus me, just like in a divorce -- and it's not going to strengthen our marriage. If you are worried about your familial castle on the Loire, I understand -- but don't effin' lie to me about what you intend that piece of paper to do. The statements above would in fact doubly offend me: first because they are meant to trick, and second because they would be an affront to my intelligence. Another justification often offered: "If you really love him, why would it upset you if he asked you to sign a prenup?" Indeed, why would it upset me if the person I loved lied to me and treated me as a dumb bimbo?

Last edited by Redisca; 11-26-2008 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:16 PM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
397 posts, read 630,757 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
On the flip side, people are naive if they think they'll never get divorced. No one gets married thinking they may get divorced later on. But half the time, that's what happens. Some people change or don't change, both of which often lead to divorces.

Asking for a pre-nup doesn't mean you want to get divorced in the future. It means you want each other to be protected if you happen to land on the wrong side of the 50%.
That is a great way of looking at it. Especially here in California, if one spouse brought significantly more into the marriage or earns significantly more, it is really quite a sensible thing to do. If you are not ready to have
an open, honest discussion about finances and planning for contingencies (such as divorce etc.), you should probably reconsider the marriage.
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