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Old 11-26-2008, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 53,394,957 times
Reputation: 22748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Misleading your future spouse about the purpose of the pre-nup is one of the surest ways to have it invalidated in a divorce.
Well, yeah, but the sugar-coated excuses are only verbal and outside of any legal agreement. Obviously, nobody's gonna say "I want it in order to screw* you over!" How can a legal case be made out of being mislead?!
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Old 11-26-2008, 02:57 PM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,315,390 times
Reputation: 3744
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, yeah, but the sugar-coated excuses are only verbal and outside of any legal agreement. Obviously, nobody's gonna say "I want it in order to screw* you over!" How can a legal case be made out of being mislead?!
Prenups are treated differently from ordinary commercial contracts, because a prenup is not an arms' length transaction. Overreaching is one of the grounds on which a prenup can invalidated, regardless of whether the overreaching was done in writing or verbally. So basically, yeah, you have to tell your fiance "I want a prenup. The purpose of this document is to protect my interests in the event we divorce, and to frustrate yours. Specifically, [insert what you actually want done without any "sugar-coating"]."

Even in ordinary commercial contracts, you can't "sugar-coat" the truth such that the person will be tricked into signing it. Obtaining assent by false pretenses puts the contract in danger of being voided. Doesn't matter if it is verbal.
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 13,036,759 times
Reputation: 12208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
good honest answer to a good honest question. are you willing to walk out with what you walked in with. if he is smart he will accept your answer be grateful, and move on. many want unconditional love but few find it in a marriage contract or divorce. unconditional love is not to be found in a court of law, law enforcement is to be found in a court of law.
know the law. americans, -----lookin for love in all the wrong places.
(johnny lee - sing it)
We both walked in with nothing. We do get to share the kids I hope! Really, the only material thing of importance to me are our photographs. Which I would have copies made if we parted.

..............Now that I found a friend and a lover ........ I'll bless the day I discover you, oh you.............
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Old 11-26-2008, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
167 posts, read 308,681 times
Reputation: 148
I would sign. I can understand wanting to protect what you have worked so hard for. As much as we would like to believe that love will last forever sadly it just falls apart sometimes. If you have been burned you don't have the level of trust you had before. It is wise to protect yourselves, and your children.
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Old 11-27-2008, 01:26 AM
 
Location: TX
5,413 posts, read 10,470,359 times
Reputation: 1667
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
On the other hand, it's also naive to think that a pre-nup will prevent a messy divorce. Quite often, parties in a divorce litigate merely out of bitterness. There is no way to use a contract to make your future spouse retain her/his rationality, decency etc. in a divorce. There are some things that a pre-nup just cannot accomplish.

By the way: the divorce rate is less than 50%. Really.

Nope. Sorry. Wrong. Asking for a pre-nup does not mean you want "each other" to be protected -- it means you want to protect yourself. If a client hires me to draft a pre-nup, my job as a lawyer is to screw his beloved to the fullest extent of the law. As I previously said, if you intend to ask your fiance to sign a pre-nup, do not tell him/her that your intention is to protect their assets (unless that actually is your intention). It sounds like something conciliatory to say, but inasmuch as negotiating a pre-nup is an adversarial procedure, and you are dealing with legal issues here, it is vitally important that you don't make a misrepresentation. When you are contemplating divorce (as you do when you are negotiating a pre-nup), you are acting as your fiance's adversary; thus any statement to the effect that you are looking out for their interests is actually a lie -- their interests in this instance are adverse to yours. Misleading your future spouse about the purpose of the pre-nup is one of the surest ways to have it invalidated in a divorce.
While a pre-nup doesn't guarantee a clean and friendly divorce, it can solve more disputes than not having a pre-nup can.

You're right about divorce rates being < 50%. I was rounding up. They're actually somewhere between 40-50%. (Link)

I misphrased that. Yes, the pre-nup is to protect one party. I meant if the man and woman each present a pre-nup contact, then they're protecting each other if the marriage ends poorly. I guess the 2 pre-nup contracts would be merged into 1 - I don't know the technicalities.
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