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Old 11-23-2008, 02:17 PM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,515 posts, read 16,125,708 times
Reputation: 8079

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You've said a mouth full!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth70 View Post
The best way to prevent other people from driving you up the wall 24/7 is to live alone. Works for me; I've never had the headache of a relationship.
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Old 11-23-2008, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,577,631 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat View Post
This drives me nuts about my DH! He is such a procrastinator and never follows through with anything. He says "I'm going to quit smoking". He starts Chantix, takes it for about 3 weeks and continues to smoke. UGGG That's just one example, but there are several others. I know he's an adult and I can't control him, but it gets me so mad!
Is that Chantix what they were going on about here recently, to where people who were taking it, were having suicide thoughts, even going through with it, and it was suppose to be a bad thing?
Not that smoking is good for you by no means...
Anyway, have you discussed this with him?
I`m sure that it can get very aggravating hearing him make these promises, to just blow them off later. He needs will power, in order to go through with his promises, and to stop smoking, is definetly a toughy!!
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Old 11-23-2008, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,916,249 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
Dump him like his bad habit.
I'm just comtemplaining dumping you from my friends list. As a matter of fact, there are other similar cases...
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Old 11-23-2008, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,577,631 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I'm just comtemplaining dumping you from my friends list. As a matter of fact, there are other similar cases...
Uh ohhh!!
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Old 11-23-2008, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
12,626 posts, read 31,900,849 times
Reputation: 5419
He started the Chantix about 2 years ago on his own. He started it again 3 weeks ago on his own. Today, he said, I'm going to wait till the first of the year. There he goes, procrastinating again! Sigh!
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Old 11-23-2008, 05:18 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat View Post
He started the Chantix about 2 years ago on his own. He started it again 3 weeks ago on his own. Today, he said, I'm going to wait till the first of the year. There he goes, procrastinating again! Sigh!
Not counting his lack of "tenacity" in his own stuff, sounds like it might be tough for the two of you to even get anything done together. That is, unless you're always willing to be the one who handles the "follow-thru" part.

So I'm wondering if there might be some resentment at that, or maybe you just generally lose respect for him for procrastinating, regardless whether it involves the both of you or only himself.

Either way, I think you're likely gonna have to be the one to adjust, 'cuz it doesn't sound like he's going to change...
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Old 11-23-2008, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
12,626 posts, read 31,900,849 times
Reputation: 5419
Quote:
Originally Posted by mateo45 View Post
Not counting his lack of "tenacity" in his own stuff, sounds like it might be tough for the two of you to even get anything done together. That is, unless you're always willing to be the one who handles the "follow-thru" part.

So I'm wondering if there might be some resentment at that, or maybe you just generally lose respect for him for procrastinating, regardless whether it involves the both of you or only himself.

Either way, I think you're likely gonna have to be the one to adjust, 'cuz it doesn't sound like he's going to change...
Not to sound cocky, but if it weren't for me, alot of stuff wouldn't get done. Yes, he helps around the house, mows the lawn, goes to work when there's work, but I take care of the rest. There is some resentment there on both of our parts. Your last statement is very correct, I just can't convince myself to do it.
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Old 11-23-2008, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,445,312 times
Reputation: 710
I'm not sure what else he procrastinates about but if it's really just the smoking, let me tell you he will not quit until he's ready. It really doesn't matter how much you ask him. If when you married him he told you he would quit then I can see where you're coming from. I can tell you as someone who's quit at least 4 times, it's not something you can do, unless you're absolutely ready. While quitting is different for everyone, it's still extremely difficult. He already knows you want him to stop, if you keep nagging him it's not only discourages from quitting but he may begin to see you as a nag.
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Old 11-23-2008, 10:03 PM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat View Post
Not to sound cocky, but if it weren't for me, alot of stuff wouldn't get done. Yes, he helps around the house, mows the lawn, goes to work when there's work, but I take care of the rest. There is some resentment there on both of our parts. Your last statement is very correct, I just can't convince myself to do it.
It probably also makes you feel crummy about yourself for always having to be a "nag", and some of his "procrastination" could even be a bit of passive aggression in response. Depending on how bad you want to stay together, it might be worth going to a couples counselor before the relationship just becomes too contaminated with this "stuff".
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Old 11-23-2008, 10:04 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,801,703 times
Reputation: 7057
I feel so sorry for you. Life must be very challenging.
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