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This drives me nuts about my DH! He is such a procrastinator and never follows through with anything. He says "I'm going to quit smoking". He starts Chantix, takes it for about 3 weeks and continues to smoke. UGGG That's just one example, but there are several others. I know he's an adult and I can't control him, but it gets me so mad!
Is that Chantix what they were going on about here recently, to where people who were taking it, were having suicide thoughts, even going through with it, and it was suppose to be a bad thing?
Not that smoking is good for you by no means...
Anyway, have you discussed this with him?
I`m sure that it can get very aggravating hearing him make these promises, to just blow them off later. He needs will power, in order to go through with his promises, and to stop smoking, is definetly a toughy!!
He started the Chantix about 2 years ago on his own. He started it again 3 weeks ago on his own. Today, he said, I'm going to wait till the first of the year. There he goes, procrastinating again! Sigh!
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat
He started the Chantix about 2 years ago on his own. He started it again 3 weeks ago on his own. Today, he said, I'm going to wait till the first of the year. There he goes, procrastinating again! Sigh!
Not counting his lack of "tenacity" in his own stuff, sounds like it might be tough for the two of you to even get anything done together. That is, unless you're always willing to be the one who handles the "follow-thru" part.
So I'm wondering if there might be some resentment at that, or maybe you just generally lose respect for him for procrastinating, regardless whether it involves the both of you or only himself.
Either way, I think you're likely gonna have to be the one to adjust, 'cuz it doesn't sound like he's going to change...
Not counting his lack of "tenacity" in his own stuff, sounds like it might be tough for the two of you to even get anything done together. That is, unless you're always willing to be the one who handles the "follow-thru" part.
So I'm wondering if there might be some resentment at that, or maybe you just generally lose respect for him for procrastinating, regardless whether it involves the both of you or only himself.
Either way, I think you're likely gonna have to be the one to adjust, 'cuz it doesn't sound like he's going to change...
Not to sound cocky, but if it weren't for me, alot of stuff wouldn't get done. Yes, he helps around the house, mows the lawn, goes to work when there's work, but I take care of the rest. There is some resentment there on both of our parts. Your last statement is very correct, I just can't convince myself to do it.
I'm not sure what else he procrastinates about but if it's really just the smoking, let me tell you he will not quit until he's ready. It really doesn't matter how much you ask him. If when you married him he told you he would quit then I can see where you're coming from. I can tell you as someone who's quit at least 4 times, it's not something you can do, unless you're absolutely ready. While quitting is different for everyone, it's still extremely difficult. He already knows you want him to stop, if you keep nagging him it's not only discourages from quitting but he may begin to see you as a nag.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,865 posts, read 10,403,983 times
Reputation: 6670
Quote:
Originally Posted by beckycat
Not to sound cocky, but if it weren't for me, alot of stuff wouldn't get done. Yes, he helps around the house, mows the lawn, goes to work when there's work, but I take care of the rest. There is some resentment there on both of our parts. Your last statement is very correct, I just can't convince myself to do it.
It probably also makes you feel crummy about yourself for always having to be a "nag", and some of his "procrastination" could even be a bit of passive aggression in response. Depending on how bad you want to stay together, it might be worth going to a couples counselor before the relationship just becomes too contaminated with this "stuff".
I feel so sorry for you. Life must be very challenging.
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