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My family doesn't do any politic during the thankgiving or christmas dinner. The kids will play as kids do and the family mostly catches up on news. The men will watch the college games on televison after watching the parades with the family an kids. I always enjpoy the change of pace really.
Both of our parents have passed, but our siblings remain to carry on the torch, and there's no resemblance. I've posted here before that my wife and I are opposites, and our siblings are no exception.
Most of my sibs are relatively religious christians, while my wife's are agnostics or atheists; mine have all worked hard and succeeded in life-long careers, while most of hers work a few months a year and then draw unemployment and have fun; her brothers are apt to pull out a doobie and pass it around, while mine would be shocked at the idea.
Either group is fun to be around; we just have to be careful who we're with so as not to shock them too much!
So, what's the difference between your family and that of your spouse? Is it really different? Or are your two families pretty much alike?
My dh's family is religious, an affliction, thankfully that he did not catch growing up. Also, being Canadian by birth, his family is of the philosophy that there are just ways that you DO THINGS and that is pretty much end of story (another affliction that my husband did not catch, LOL). My side of the family, on the other hand is very avant garde and flexible and don't do *anything* because you are supposed to. We do not really observe any holidays especially Christmas since we are not Christians and not religious, but one year we decided to go back to his home after the holiday only to discover that his mother had kept the tree up until the end of January and cooked a second Christmas dinner for us so we wouldn't "miss out". Clueless.
His family is pretty outdoorsy too, which mine is DEFINITELY not. Unfortunately, he did catch this affliction from them. So he is outside most days and I am not. LOL
On Wednesday, we'll pack the kids in the Odyssey and tootle three hours to the in-laws for Thanksgiving. Now, during holidays, my family is raucous, fun-loving, argumentative, and are always looking to get out of the house for fun and amusement. We'll throw the football, hit the movies together, and have energetic debates on politics, movies, literature, and half a dozen other things. The conversations turn on a dime, and we're always laughing our collective asses off at something or another.
My wife's family? Utterly different. They all stay in the house for days on end (In a remote part of town away from any bookstores or malls), watching television. Nobody disagrees on anything. I have never heard an argument among these people in 18 years.
For years, Mrs. CPG couldn't understand why she was having to peel me off the walls by the second day. Now, she schedules at least a couple of outings for our nuclear family--something her own family Just. Doesn't. Get.
So, what's the difference between your family and that of your spouse? Is it really different? Or are your two families pretty much alike?
Oh geez! I could have written this myself! My family is the same as yours, and my husbands...I can't them to discuss anything real if my life depended on it. I bring up interesting things, some even pretty mundane (what was your grandmother like? What is your relationship like with X?) and they. just. change. the. subject. To something horrible, like comics. Or television. Or the weather. Oy vey.
My family is just like yours. A holiday isn't a holiday if there isn't a at least 15 people in the house, and more coming in and going out through the day.
I can't compare my DH's fam & mine because most of his family is back in the country DH came from.
But my mothers family (the one I described above) and my father's family were as different as night and day. I only saw my fathers family twice a year, when the grandparents went up to Maine for the summer, then on their way back down to Florida for the winter. There was a big family dinner, my grandparents would ask how school was, I'd hang out with the only two cousins on that side, then be on our merry way for 6 months.
They were strange people and not in the least bit demonstrative. Nothing like my mother's family at all. Now that the grandparents have died, I never see them. I couldn't tell you where my two cousins even live. And they don't seem to care. I frankly don't, because I've got the huge other side and no need for anyone else. (not to be rude, but who needs two more on top of 30)
My ex's family was like your wife's family. Really polite and a little boring. It was like we'd go to their house, there would be lots of good food and a lot of sitting around and not doing a whole lot. They were quiet folks who enjoyed a nice discussion or 'catching up' or gossip, but forget debating - someone's toes could have gotten stepped on!
My family? Oh, geez. It takes a very special outsider to come to our house for the holidays. There is tons of food, lots of loud voices and debates...it's way more, er, lively.
My wife...well, we'd definitely be drinking...lol! They are fun folks.
My Dw was orphaned at 13, she has one sister who is a divorced lives along with cats, a corporate exec in the DC beltway area. Big into politics [women's rights, helping under-developed nations, and outlawing firearms]. These two visitor each other twice a year.
I have 5 siblings. My parents were divorced when I was 15. All of my siblings publicly declared their hatred for our father, while I tried as hard as I could to remain neutral during the process. So none of my siblings trusted me. We still send cards and gifts for Christmas each year to each of my siblings. Some years we may receive one card, other years we get nothing.
When I was still in the Navy I would use my annual vacation time to travel home each year and my mother would host a family dinner. I would be asked about my career, my travels and what it was like to live underwater. I would tell them about subs and explain things. Usually right after desert they would decide that I was the world's biggest 'liar' and had a incredible imagination. They would all laugh and joke, having lots of fun about the lengths that I went to to 'lie' to them about my career.
I was 'slow' it took me a decade before I realized that they really just don't like me.
We often invited my siblings to come visit us, to see our homes as we lived in each different country. We were willing to host them, and show any of them around the countries where we lived. None of them has ever visited any of the homes where we have lived.
I am retired now. 2 years ago my eldest sister died, I returned home to be a pall bearer.
I only return home now to carry each of them to their graves.
During the holidays, I drink. Sometimes I think about men I have known.
On Wednesday, we'll pack the kids in the Odyssey and tootle three hours to the in-laws for Thanksgiving. Now, during holidays, my family is raucous, fun-loving, argumentative, and are always looking to get out of the house for fun and amusement. We'll throw the football, hit the movies together, and have energetic debates on politics, movies, literature, and half a dozen other things. The conversations turn on a dime, and we're always laughing our collective asses off at something or another.
My wife's family? Utterly different. They all stay in the house for days on end (In a remote part of town away from any bookstores or malls), watching television. Nobody disagrees on anything. I have never heard an argument among these people in 18 years.
For years, Mrs. CPG couldn't understand why she was having to peel me off the walls by the second day. Now, she schedules at least a couple of outings for our nuclear family--something her own family Just. Doesn't. Get.
So, what's the difference between your family and that of your spouse? Is it really different? Or are your two families pretty much alike?
Night and day. Different backgrounds, cultures, economic situations, etc. etc. What a train wreck.
My family is big and loud and drinks quite a bit at gatherings. They go to the movies, out to eat, etc.
My husband's family always stays home. He is an only child so it is very different. Every time you go in their house the TV is blaring. I have learned to go for walks to get away from the noise because their house is so small, there is no way to escape it. Either that or I fake illness and lie down in the bedroom and read. His mom just wants to sit and talk. This is my opportunity to listen to stories for the 20th time about their dog that has been dead for 20 years. It's pretty hard to get a word in with her. lol
But I really do like and appreciate my in-laws. They are different than my family, but it is easier to have a meaningful heart-to-heart conversation with them. My family would rather discuss last week's episode of Dancing with the Stars.
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