Okay. Married Folks Only (Or Ex-Married Persons) (date, Christian, wife)

[cpg35223]

On Wednesday, we'll pack the kids in the Odyssey and tootle three hours to the in-laws for Thanksgiving. Now, during holidays, my family is raucous, fun-loving, argumentative, and are always looking to get out of the house for fun and amusement. We'll throw the football, hit the movies together, and have energetic debates on politics, movies, literature, and half a dozen other things. The conversations turn on a dime, and we're always laughing our collective asses off at something or another.

My wife's family? Utterly different. They all stay in the house for days on end (In a remote part of town away from any bookstores or malls), watching television. Nobody disagrees on anything. I have never heard an argument among these people in 18 years.

For years, Mrs. CPG couldn't understand why she was having to peel me off the walls by the second day. Now, she schedules at least a couple of outings for our nuclear family--something her own family Just. Doesn't. Get.

So, what's the difference between your family and that of your spouse? Is it really different? Or are your two families pretty much alike?

[geekduo]

My family is nuts, his is on its way there. Ok, not really but sometimes it feels that way. LOL

As for your wife's family. Have you tried bringing along some interesting games when you go visit? Maybe you could get everyone going in a good game on Jenga, Uno, or Scruples? Or how about ladder golf. Shake them up a bit.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by geekduo

My family is nuts, his is on its way there. Ok, not really but sometimes it feels that way. LOL

As for your wife's family. Have you tried bringing along some interesting games when you go visit? Maybe you could get everyone going in a good game on Jenga, Uno, or Scruples? Or how about ladder golf. Shake them up a bit.

They're the dullest bunch on the planet. Seriously. I've tried everything.

[PA2UK]

Our families are very different. For one, my husband's mother apparently had him when she was 42! And his dad is a few years older than her. So they are now in their 70s. My parents had me in their late 20s so they are now in their 50s. His dad is unfortunately bed ridden from a stroke and can't speak much so sadly, there's not much to say about him. But his mother is a hermit who thinks she looks so hidious that she won't leave the house or meet new people. She's not hidious, she's just old and apparently thinks she's the only old person on the planet. My parents STILL have not even met his parents because she doesn't like to meet new people! How many couples can say their parents are still alive but never met and there's no financial or political reasons for it?

My parents are still young enough to be active and are very, very social. I know people change as they grow old but I can't ever imagine my mom refusing to meet new people just because she looks old! My mom loves to meet new people. My mom is positive, his mom is negative.

There's also some weirdness in his family I don't understand. They all hate to have their picture taken and there are NO family photos on the walls or table tops in his parents house. My family have always been big on family photos. Not only candids from snapshots but also family portraits. I grew up with family photos on our walls and numerous photo albums. I don't think anyone in my husband's family ever even owned a camera, much less displayed family photos or even kept them tucked away in an attic!

And get this one - my husband thought his mom was only in her 60s until she was in the hospital and and her file which gave her birth date confirmed she was in her 70s! I asked him how he could not know how old his own mother was, he just shrugged! To my family, the idea that we wouldn't know each other's ages is unimaginable.

[geekduo]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

They're the dullest bunch on the planet. Seriously. I've tried everything.

Maybe that is part of what attracted your wife to you. Someone who knows how to have fun. I know that I tend to be too serious and I intentionally seek out friends who are fun. It gets me out of my shell.

As for the family visits, keep trying and meanwhile, keep up the outings for your sanity. Maybe you could get them to drag out old family albums or something? Just keep trying, but don't let it get you down.

[vukinjo]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

On Wednesday, we'll pack the kids in the Odyssey and tootle three hours to the in-laws for Thanksgiving. Now, during holidays, my family is raucous, fun-loving, argumentative, and are always looking to get out of the house for fun and amusement. We'll throw the football, hit the movies together, and have energetic debates on politics, movies, literature, and half a dozen other things. The conversations turn on a dime, and we're always laughing our collective asses off at something or another.

My wife's family? Utterly different. They all stay in the house for days on end (In a remote part of town away from any bookstores or malls), watching television. Nobody disagrees on anything. I have never heard an argument among these people in 18 years.

For years, Mrs. CPG couldn't understand why she was having to peel me off the walls by the second day. Now, she schedules at least a couple of outings for our nuclear family--something her own family Just. Doesn't. Get.

So, what's the difference between your family and that of your spouse? Is it really different? Or are your two families pretty much alike?

This is more like the difference between my Mom's family and my Step-mom's family. My Step-mom's family is a lot like you describe yours to be...lots of conversation, activities..very lively. I go nuts at my Mom's if I'm there more than a couple of hours!

[cricket_factor]

CPG, why don't you go with the kids to a movie after the meal? Or go take a walk somewhere. Your in-laws' dullness comes right through the screen at me. Or bring DVDs to watch. Or cards. Or a telescope. Or binoculars. Or your cellphone - you could call a friend if you get to the end of your rope - maybe they're having a boring time exactly as you are.

[ChessieMom]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

On Wednesday, we'll pack the kids in the Odyssey and tootle three hours to the in-laws for Thanksgiving. Now, during holidays, my family is raucous, fun-loving, argumentative, and are always looking to get out of the house for fun and amusement. We'll throw the football, hit the movies together, and have energetic debates on politics, movies, literature, and half a dozen other things. The conversations turn on a dime, and we're always laughing our collective asses off at something or another.

My family is pretty much like yours....we have a ball no matter what the gathering is for. My ex-husbands was also fairly rambunctious...the only issue I had with their Turkey Day is that they all drank beer, on the table, at Thanksgiving. I hated that. Of course I later found out that half of them had drinking problems...go figure.

[ellie]

Pshaw CPG, we don't have to be married to notice the differences and similarities between our parents' families or between our SO's families and ours. (I've been in a couple of relationships that have lasted much longer than many people's marriages) So *********. LOL

EVERYBODY'S FAMILY IS DIFFERENT.

My mom's family sounds a little like your wife's family. My dad's family is sort of like that but different and a little dumber. My grandfather's second wife's family had even less going on than that. I'm not sure what they did except watch the babies play on the floor and eat. My cousin's family is huge and wild and exciting, but weirdly Christian and charismatic about it all. In general, I can put up with anything for a couple of days.

Two of my ex-bf's families were similar enough to mine not to be all that interesting or challenging. One had a couple of cool brothers, who could carry on conversations about art and politics (thank gawd). I liked that we could drink and smoke if we wanted to... My family couldn't/wouldn't, not on any branch or fork of it, with only one possible exception.

I'd like to have an intellectual debating family. My best friend's family is like that. They sound like your family.

[MooksterL1]

My side of the family is a lot like your side, cpg. It's always fun during the holidays and lots of different activities going on. My ex's side of the family is completely different. It's possible that they were having fun and I just had no clue because they always spoke Hindi. And since I was the only non-Hindi speaking person there, it definitely wasn't a blast for me. Besides I always thought they were talking about me.