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Old 11-24-2008, 10:01 AM
 
3,485 posts, read 4,852,024 times
Reputation: 3832
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Yeah I guess I do like him, I think I've been trying to convince myself that I don't.

He's just so amazingly funny and caring and intelligent and witty and loving and compassionate and attractive. I feel like I could tell him anything, I've never met anyone like him before.
Well that sounds wonderful!!!!
Does he feel the same way, or have you not had that conversation yet?
I would say don't rush the physical relationship, but don't make it such a big deal that it's like an elephant in the room every time you see each other.
Let the relationship develop organically. Sex will happen when it's ready to happen if you can both just relax and enjoy each other's company.

My only question is why are you trying to convince yourself that you don't like him, if you do? Are you worried that he doesn't feel the same?
Because this is how relationships that could have been great, die before they have even started.
Sometimes I think that people talk themselves out of their own happiness for whatever reason. Fear of success maybe?
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,047,411 times
Reputation: 2480
Quote:
Originally Posted by foma View Post
I think the best relationships come when you're friends first. My husband and I were friends first. I liked him, I let it be known and now we've been married for almost 5 years!!

There is a chance, however, that things don't work out. The question then would be, are you ready to handle the consequences?
Good to see you foma, it's been years....

I think it would be easier if they don't work out if sex hasn't been involved initially.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,653 posts, read 4,354,053 times
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you're right about that. it's like he gets the pleasure and you get nothing!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Good to see you foma, it's been years....

I think it would be easier if they don't work out if sex hasn't been involved initially.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,047,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
I agree with your comments "hoboken", I don't understand what it is she wants? I would wait of course until they decide if they want to date. They shouldn't just have sex just because.
I hate games also!!! Just talk it out and decide what you want!!
Oh I don't think we are playing games with each other, far from it. I may not be explaining the situation well enough.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
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no, I think you are explaining it fine, I'm just not sure what you want from the friendship, that's all.
maybe I'm not getting it?



Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Oh I don't think we are playing games with each other, far from it. I may not be explaining the situation well enough.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,047,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Well that sounds wonderful!!!!
Does he feel the same way, or have you not had that conversation yet?
I would say don't rush the physical relationship, but don't make it such a big deal that it's like an elephant in the room every time you see each other.
Let the relationship develop organically. Sex will happen when it's ready to happen if you can both just relax and enjoy each other's company.

My only question is why are you trying to convince yourself that you don't like him, if you do? Are you worried that he doesn't feel the same?
Because this is how relationships that could have been great, die before they have even started.
Sometimes I think that people talk themselves out of their own happiness for whatever reason. Fear of success maybe?
Maybe, fear of success is not something I thought about before, interesting. I just think I went out to the dating world with a belief that I would have fun, the last thing I expected was to find someone I really connect with. So it's a little surprizing and unexpected.

As for his interest in me, I believe it to be there. I'm not worried about him not feeling the same. He's very sweet, for instance if we cross the street he will grab my arm, or when we go jogging he will touch my leg in an affectionate way.

There's definately not an elephant in the room, we can talk about most everything. Like I could talk to him about how I have mixed feelings about this boundary. In some ways it makes me feel safer and in others it makes me feel more inticed. But I was interested to see how many people set a boundary...apparently not many.

I have to say it is kinda wonderful though.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Earth
3,797 posts, read 4,047,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal View Post
no, I think you are explaining it fine, I'm just not sure what you want from the friendship, that's all.
maybe I'm not getting it?
Oh good. I really want someone who I can interact with, have fun with, spend time with and maybe eventually make out with.

A relationship takes a commitment and I'm not sure if I'm there yet.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
3,653 posts, read 4,354,053 times
Reputation: 1454
Aha! well, then I would hold of on sex then. It may unnecessarily complicate things. Just build on your friendship an see where it goes. try not to get yourselves into a situation where physical contact could occur. Eventually, you'll have to decide if you're ready to date or if he wants to date, etc. but for now, I'd say just keep the friendship going strong, just MHO!!!
p.s.- does he have a brother? ha!



Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Oh good. I really want someone who I can interact with, have fun with, spend time with and maybe eventually make out with.

A relationship takes a commitment and I'm not sure if I'm there yet.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:39 AM
 
3,485 posts, read 4,852,024 times
Reputation: 3832
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
Maybe, fear of success is not something I thought about before, interesting. I just think I went out to the dating world with a belief that I would have fun, the last thing I expected was to find someone I really connect with. So it's a little surprizing and unexpected.

As for his interest in me, I believe it to be there. I'm not worried about him not feeling the same. He's very sweet, for instance if we cross the street he will grab my arm, or when we go jogging he will touch my leg in an affectionate way.

There's definately not an elephant in the room, we can talk about most everything. Like I could talk to him about how I have mixed feelings about this boundary. In some ways it makes me feel safer and in others it makes me feel more inticed. But I was interested to see how many people set a boundary...apparently not many.

I have to say it is kinda wonderful though.
Well I think that as long as you are talking about it all and communicating about it, then it's fine. I hope it all works out for you!
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:41 AM
 
Location: 'Shangri-La 'mountains west of Wolf Creek, Oregon
12,059 posts, read 7,914,266 times
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Together go do some fishin' & campin' over at Whiskeytown lake.......................explore the BLM lands & watch some beautiful sunsets & sunrises Together..............................
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