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Old 12-02-2008, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,651,690 times
Reputation: 398

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I'm a 32 years old black man and I'm morbidly shy. First I want to note that I'm a decent looking guy.(or so I've been told) I look real young for my age(Been told I look 17/18)I've had 3 relationships in my lifetime. The problem that I find is when it comes to talking to women. I mean once I'm atleast dating the woman I'm fine....I'm not so shy.But Its the initial approach. I've had this problem since I was 12/13. I've missed many a proms/dances over my shyness.I didn't even go to my prom. Its like I'm afraid to be rejected. With my friends I'm like really sociable and friendly. I just find it hard to approach a woman for me. I've always had somebody hook me up or either I was the one approached. Its just the weirdest thing,I get butterflies and all nervous. The funny thing is is I've had several women who were strictly platonic friends and I wasn't shy but I'm morbidly shy when I approach a women I'm interested in. Help.....anyone
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Old 12-02-2008, 06:50 PM
 
1,592 posts, read 3,000,423 times
Reputation: 1152
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarqueseGilmore View Post
I'm a 32 years old black man and I'm morbidly shy. First I want to note that I'm a decent looking guy.(or so I've been told) I look real young for my age(Been told I look 17/18)I've had 3 relationships in my lifetime. The problem that I find is when it comes to talking to women. I mean once I'm atleast dating the woman I'm fine....I'm not so shy.But Its the initial approach. I've had this problem since I was 12/13. I've missed many a proms/dances over my shyness.I didn't even go to my prom. Its like I'm afraid to be rejected. With my friends I'm like really sociable and friendly. I just find it hard to approach a woman for me. I've always had somebody hook me up or either I was the one approached. Its just the weirdest thing,I get butterflies and all nervous. The funny thing is is I've had several women who were strictly platonic friends and I wasn't shy but I'm morbidly shy when I approach a women I'm interested in. Help.....anyone

Read: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie...a great classic...
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Old 12-02-2008, 08:25 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,541 posts, read 19,422,907 times
Reputation: 11442
You aren't the least bit odd in getting nervous around someone you're attracted to. Most people are.

Maybe you need to put yourself in a position where more women can find you. Then let them do the approaching.
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Old 12-02-2008, 08:30 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 862,283 times
Reputation: 339
I never meet a stranger. I get it from my dad. I am a people person & can strike up a conversation with a stranger anywhere. I have never been shy so I dont know what to tell you except look people in the eye & smile wherever you are and say hello in passing. People respond to it.
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Old 12-02-2008, 08:45 PM
 
11 posts, read 28,290 times
Reputation: 17
Default Hi Shy

Hi, just wanted to write and tell you that you are definitely not alone! I have had the same exact problem, which is not a problem anymore because I'm female and my loving man was extremely persistent while we were in high school..we both turn 40 this winter ...but we have broken up many times in or youth and I experienced,well, a whole lotta nothing because if I found someone attractive, with that chemistry, my outgoing self turned suddenly into a wall flower, not one word would I speak, and I would even avoid eye contact,lol...it was so awful! I think it would be even more horrible if I was a man, because there aren't a whole lot of women who are very assertive about flirting, some are good at it, and I envy them, but it seems so rediculously funny to me, I could never do it, instead I'm sure I have come across as cold,lol. Anyway, I had a seven year marriage during a longggggggg break up from my sweety, to a very nice guy who has the same trouble, maybe even worse. It was funny in the beginning because we were not getting anywhere for months though we spent enormous time togeher and I suspected he liked me romantically, he just never would ask me out, so I mustered the courage, some how, and and that was that. But, I clicked with him because I liked that he was reserved?, like me. There are women out there just like you and I think if you searched personals online you might find one just like you, and typing is so much easier to get a feel for someone without being in that uncomfortable situation face-to-face. Good luck and thanks for not being one of those grab-ass guys who really come off as so arrogant to many women, it's refreshing and we like it!
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Old 12-02-2008, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,174 posts, read 16,536,426 times
Reputation: 13385
Maybe you can meet a special gal online, get to know her well, then meet in person. The first time I did that, I got to know a very special lady better than I'd ever known anyone, all through emails. Still, when we finally met I was nervous as hell. We checked into a room, hugged, and then... silence.

"Nervous?"
"Yeah," I replied.
"Best way to overcome that is to get naked."

The rest is history. We were married a year later.
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Old 12-03-2008, 04:03 AM
 
Location: Incognito
7,001 posts, read 18,176,073 times
Reputation: 5442
You need to have a talk with my friend Johhny Walker (black), he's a good motivational speaker.
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,651,690 times
Reputation: 398
Thanks a million......anymore advice?
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Old 12-03-2008, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,001 posts, read 18,176,073 times
Reputation: 5442
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarqueseGilmore View Post
Thanks a million......anymore advice?

But seriously, you just need to get out there and just talk to them. I know some women are coceited, stuck up and think thy're God's gift to men but not all of them. The more intimidating they look the easier they are to establish a conversation. Go ahead.
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Old 12-04-2008, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,651,690 times
Reputation: 398
Sometimes its easier said than done.
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