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Well...it's a different ad, lol. I like it though. The ones that are different stand out. Like Miles said, cut it down. I read up to he 3rd paragraph and just skimmed the rest.
I met my fiance through an ad, coincidentally. Now, I honestly wasn't looking for a relationship. I put an ad up on yahoo personals and was totally honest about every little thing about me. I was curious to see how many guys would be interested in the real me. I didn't plan on responding to any of them since I wasn't looking for anything, but Keith's (my fiance) was the only one I responded to. I don't know why I did, I guess something must have instantly drawn me to him. I didn't even see his profile and messaged him back. We talked, I thought he was trying too hard to be with me and it kind of turned me off. For that reason, I stopped talking to him for about 8 months. We never really had a deep conversation, it was more like hello, how are you, talking about what we're doing at the moment. Informal stuff like that. I somehow remembered his screen name months later (and it wasn't a simple screen name) and messaged him because I was really bored. We talked more and more from then on, to the point where a month later we decided to meet. He had told me he was really interested in me and that he probably would be more so once we met. We went go-karting and to the batting cages, then sat down afterwards and just talked. He was such a gentleman the whole time. He was so sweet, he told me that he was right; he did like me a lot more now that we had met. About a month after that we made it official, then 2 years later he proposed
So, dating sites can work
Great story.
I'd have proposed (or hope that the woman would propose) after a month but other than that, great story.
OK, well, I'm a woman (of "a certain age") and I read the whole thing. It IS too long and, unfortunately, to my ear you sound angry and bitter. While those feelings may be justified, they're also off-putting and I'd hesitate to respond because of the message's tone .....
I wrote what I feel, if it sounds angry and bitter then please remember that angry, bitter, desperate etc are temporary situations caused by constant rejection and cured by love (and I hold to that belief and would prove it) so I think not only should it be understandable but that I'd understand and be very glad to meet any angry, bitter, desperate woman as long as that woman wanted to marry me.
when it comes to young singles, almost all places are imbalanced in favor of women. There are more young single men. Including in NYC. This is because more males are born than females, and because women marry older men on average.
But, there are other things to account for. Homosexuals are (per capita) more likely than hetero/bisexuals to relocate to a large city like NYC, and there tends to be more gay men than gay women in general. So this can help even things out in terms of a ratio of straight single men/women. An estimated 6% of NYC's population is gay/lesbian/bisexual ( Gay village - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia )
This site has a useful gender ratio comparison for young singles: Half Sigma: Unmarried male/female ratio by MSA
It only calculates the ratio from white non-hispanics, due to the other factors that can alter the ratio for hispanics/blacks (migrant workers, incarceration, murder, etc). For unmarried non-hispanic whites aged 25-40, about 45% are women and 55% are men. Non-metropolitan areas have a slightly lower percentage of women. New York City is only slightly above average in its percentage of women of this category (45.6%).
Here is a very neat site: The New, Interactive Singles Map. Or, Looking for Love in All the Statistically Wrong Places.
It has a map showing the rate of single men to single women in each metro area, and you can have it show stats for any age group you wish. Generally speaking, the east coast is more favorable for men (more single women, relatively) compared to the west coast.
For singles aged 18-34, there are "29 extra single men per 1000 people" in the NYC metro area. I'm not certain about the accuracy of that though, because this site only counts singles that have *never been* married... it doesn't include those divorced or widowed. For ages 18-64, there are "17 extra women per 1000 people"... which understates things, because overall there are something like 90 men per 100 women in NYC.
Here is the city-data age graph for NYC:
Anyway, as to whether a gender imbalance can affect the dating scene much? I think it can if the imbalance is significant enough. I've even read a suggestion by either a sociologist or economist that the gender imbalance in urban African American communities may be a contributor to their high rate of out of wedlock births, and fatherless families --- as in, since men have many women to choose from, they don't need to be monogamous or committed to get laid, so they don't form a stable family. This has been researched to happen in demographics of men that are highly valued by women -- men who are very wealthy, with top tier jobs --- they have so many women to choose from that some of them find no reason to commit, since they can sleep around all they want to.
Consider this hypothetical example of a gender imbalance effect. An imbalance of say 9 men for 10 women doesn't sound like much. But lets say these 19 people already formed 6 couples. So that leaves 3 men for every 4 women. Maybe one of the 9 guys is gay... that would make it 2 straight/bi single men for every 4 straight/bi single women. That's a serious imbalance!
For many reasons, young women and older men generally have the most to choose from in the dating 'market', while things are harder for older women and young men.
I wrote what I feel, if it sounds angry and bitter then please remember that angry, bitter, desperate etc are temporary situations caused by constant rejection and cured by love (and I hold to that belief and would prove it) so I think not only should it be understandable but that I'd understand and be very glad to meet any angry, bitter, desperate woman as long as that woman wanted to marry me.
I know that you wrote what you feel...but I believe that you need to get to home base before starting to pour out so much emotion up front, I really do.
Also, temper the bitterness as it's self-defeating and even an equally bitter woman may shy away. You don't have to be deceitful in your range of sentiments but the P/R is important when marketing yourself so that you can get a foot in the door.
I wrote what I feel, if it sounds angry and bitter then please remember that angry, bitter, desperate etc are temporary situations caused by constant rejection and cured by love (and I hold to that belief and would prove it) so I think not only should it be understandable but that I'd understand and be very glad to meet any angry, bitter, desperate woman as long as that woman wanted to marry me.
All I'm saying is that if you want to attract someone, you need to make yourself as attractive as possible -- and bitter/angry posts generally don't do that. Of course, a women who *cares* about you will understand why you feel the way you do, but if you start out bitter, it's going to be difficult to find one who sticks around long to develop feelings for you.
And -- sorry -- proposing within a month really isn't romantic, it's foolish (IMO).
I know that you wrote what you feel...but I believe that you need to get to home base before starting to pour out so much emotion up front, I really do.
Also, temper the bitterness as it's self-defeating and even an equally bitter woman may shy away. You don't have to be deceitful in your range of sentiments but the P/R is important when marketing yourself so that you can get a foot in the door.
Tell me to shut up if you'd rather not hear this.
The bitterness came after all the rejections............I was Mr Nice Guy but NY women (of any age today) don't feel "it" for plain looking nice guys (nor for plain looking angry guys) as I see it; I could be wrong but I myself honestly believe that "chemistry" for women includes looks somewhere.
I have to be honest, I have to be myself, nothing more transparent than phony or fake enthusiasm or whatever it is, so in return I won't shy away from a bitter woman..........there's bitter women out there and I ask too much if I ask or demand a "happy" "wholesome" woman, bitterness is part of life, part of NY life, I have no problem marrying or understanding OR GIVING IN TO a hurt, angry, bitter woman if that woman wants to be my wife. I mean that love makes us all feel better, right? Less angry, less bitter.
Why should I fear a bitter woman? I see them all the time. Some are in bad marriages, others are bitter because they can't find or keep a "good" looking or macho guy. A bitter woman is just as much the norm these days as a "well adjusted" one, if you want marriage like I do then you can't be "horrified" by a bitter woman, just accept her.
All I'm saying is that if you want to attract someone, you need to make yourself as attractive as possible -- and bitter/angry posts generally don't do that. Of course, a women who *cares* about you will understand why you feel the way you do, but if you start out bitter, it's going to be difficult to find one who sticks around long to develop feelings for you.
And -- sorry -- proposing within a month really isn't romantic, it's foolish (IMO).
You have a right to what you feel and I can't be what I don't feel right now.
All it takes is one woman and this is supposed to be a DIVERSE city, right?
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