Bottom line: would it be better/easier if you were asexual?

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by nimchimpsky

Another option some sexual-asexual couples try for is letting the sexual seek sex outside of the relationship. Not saying you have to do it, but just throwing out another possibility.

I think this possibility is often raised. Highly dependent on the persons involved. To me asexual/asexual makes the most sense in the end.

[Asexualgirl]

Originally Posted by nimchimpsky

Another option some sexual-asexual couples try for is letting the sexual seek sex outside of the relationship. Not saying you have to do it, but just throwing out another possibility.

He did not liked the idea.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by JonathanLB

I think the sexual drive is a huge weakness for most people. I think it makes them do things and make decisions that are in NO WAY in their best interest. Marrying a good looking girl, for instance, making your whole life revolve around this girl, whose looks will eventually fade, is not a good deal for a guy at all. Especially not a successful guy who will always be able to get a younger, hotter girl eventually than his aging wife.

Being asexual would have its advantages. I can understand what you mean about essentially feeling one way, but all of your systems function normally. In my case, I'm a good looking guy, if I work at it I can get quite a range of girls, good looking girls of all sorts, etc. It's never been a problem to get numbers and to get dates *when I feel like putting in the effort* but I often forego that for greater goals like my career because I find it more ultimately rewarding. I don't have a particularly strong desire to be with other people, either, for sex, yes, very high sex drive, but for just "not being alone"? Not at all, I enjoy being alone, much more so than being with girls at least. My problem is that biologically I am very attracted to girls, like as much or more than any other guy, but mentally speaking I don't like girls very much. I will admit that, I just don't like them. I don't think they are my equals most of them, not the ones I meet, and I don't have anything in common with most of them. If you don't respect someone, it's hard to want to be with them, and I don't respect most girls I meet. I meet a few here and there who are pretty awesome, but they are the exceptions. I have 5 or so great guy friends who I really respect and admire, but I haven't met a single girl who comes close to any of them as far as personality, intelligence, just having fun in general hanging out, etc. So I'm doomed to adoring girls for their looks and even the way they talk or smile, all little things about how they appear, but not really liking them very much. I used to think I just hadn't met the right girls, then I finally concluded, no, I'm sorry, I don't really like girls as a group, I'm attracted to them, yes, but I prefer to hang out with guys and prefer to keep my dealings with girls as limited as possible. The irrationality, pettiness, general lack of good taste in most things, it's just too much for me.

As for Portland chicks, good luck with that, they are some of the worst in the U.S. The singles scene in Portland was rated #1 worst in the entire United States, and I lived there for 23 years. All hot girls move out of state for college, they come back later with husbands or serious boyfriends. There are VERY FEW hot girls at all in Portland. And the ones who are there have horrible attitudes because they know they are a rare commodity.

dude you gotta meet the right girl/woman. my wife is beautiful and yes sometimes my life revolves around her but i like it. we have a ton of things in common and we're best buddies. she's basically dumped all of her friends and stuff to hang out with me too. we just love being together period. it's been 8 years and it keeps getting better. i friggin love her sooo much.

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I think this possibility is often raised. Highly dependent on the persons involved. To me asexual/asexual makes the most sense in the end.

I agree, I think asexual/asexual is ideal. I'm just saying some people make it work, though not saying all do. I'm really glad my wife is asexual and there's no pressure to have sex with her.

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by Asexualgirl

He did not liked the idea.

Sorry to hear that. The only other thing I can think of is trying to come up with something he finds sexually satisfying that you're also okay with. Maybe showering together, something that could be sexual enough for him but not too sexual for you. I don't know. I wish I had better ideas--sorry I can't be of more help!

[Asexualgirl]

Originally Posted by nimchimpsky

Sorry to hear that. The only other thing I can think of is trying to come up with something he finds sexually satisfying that you're also okay with. Maybe showering together, something that could be sexual enough for him but not too sexual for you. I don't know. I wish I had better ideas--sorry I can't be of more help!

It is OK, I do not wait that you fix us together with my "boyfriend". He is too horny to do just something and then stop. We are still friends, that is what counts

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by Asexualgirl

It is OK, I do not wait that you fix us together with my "boyfriend". He is too horny to do just something and then stop. We are still friends, that is what counts

Oops, I didn't mean to be trying to "come to your rescue." It just kills me to see people who want to be together but there's a huge wedge in the way. I'm glad to hear you guys are still friends.

[George Dynamo]

One of the things I really miss about childhood... no sexual pressures. Freedom.