U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 12-10-2008, 09:49 AM
 
Location: New England
788 posts, read 1,114,124 times
Reputation: 1033

Advertisements

How would I know if my wife were a lesbian? She never really seemed to like sex. Been married 16 years and the last 8 have been nill. Made me wear a condom all the time. I think once was without. IMO she thinks sex is dirty. Guys are pigs

Knows more about sports than most men. Always wears pants. Almost dresses a-sexual, if that makes sense.

Doesn't sleep under the same covers as me. She is on top of 2 layers that are over me.

Has not worn her wedding ring, or any jewerly in about 10 years.

Are there any tell tale signs?


That is first post of my original thread.

Everything in that post is how I feel and it has all turned me right off. I still think it is possible she has lesbian tendencies, but never explored them.

Another thing that was the kicker is this. She went to a spa back in 2000 or so. Got her upper lip waxed. Believe me it never needed it. She must have decided she liked it that way, so she started using a &#&@! razor.

To my surprise one night, I feel stubble. I found it absolutely disgusting.

The COMBONATION of all this has turned me off. I still FIRMLY believe that she could care less about sex. And if you don't want sex, I'm not going to make you have it.

Go ahead and pound me into the ground. I left that part out of the first thread. It is not all my fault, but I'm sure some of you will turn it ALL on me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Did you just wake up in year 16 and think to yourself, "My wife isn't that in to me, no sex in over a decade, and just basically just tolerates my presence....nothing is wrong with me, so she must be a lesbian."

What was she like before you married her? Must women do not go from ultra-feminine(flirty sundresses and stilettos) to she-man lesbo wear (man pants and flannel shirts). That's very extreme. Did she gain weight? Did you?

Why did YOU accept the lack of intimacy for so long? Are you gay? Have you sought that affection elsewhere? Did you make an effort to please her in the bedroom? What was the intimacy level before marriage?

Why don't you believe that YOU deserve a loving relationship? If you believed that you deserved a fulfilling relationship, you would not have tolerated this type of lack of intimacy for so long. You should seek the help of a psychotherapist to help you (individually) because the issue is not just with your wife.
calipoppy, I didn't just wake up to this. It has been killing me for a long time. She was never ultra feminine, never wore heels.

I have not sought the affection elsewhere, but I ran into someone I knew through business. Sparks started flying on my part. Kind of talked with her about my marriage on the surface, hoping for more. Won't go anywhere. Probably a good thing.
After re-reading your post, I know that you are going to hand me my a$$.

Fine. But it is not all my fault. But, I'll take blame



How the he!! do you tell your wife to stop shaving. Like I said, she never needed to. And I will say it again. The combination of everything up top that is in italic is still there.

Go ahead, I'm crunched down with my hands over my head.





 
Old 12-10-2008, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Incognito
6,995 posts, read 13,038,037 times
Reputation: 5305
 
Old 12-10-2008, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 11,318,602 times
Reputation: 9755
I will repeat what several posters have already told you. ASK HER!!!!!! If you dont like the answer--LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You wont be the first man to ever find out that his wife enjoyed "breathing thru her ears" more than he did. Just grab your cohones and ask her!
 
Old 12-10-2008, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Miami, FL
3,440 posts, read 3,223,905 times
Reputation: 2121
God help us....
 
Old 12-10-2008, 10:08 AM
 
25,241 posts, read 27,352,041 times
Reputation: 34479
Well, if she's growing facial hair, I believe that results from a hormonal imbalance. So something's up with that.

But, again, why are you asking a bunch of strangers? Steel up your nerve and simply ask.
 
Old 12-10-2008, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 5,570,855 times
Reputation: 2917
I wouldn't suspect a women that never really liked sex to be a lesbian, just a women that never liked sex. Their out there, I dated one a few times in Miami and I thought, wow this is lame and I moved on. I'm sure shes married to some poor disillusioned guy somewhere too. If you took a car for a test drive and it was blowing smoke would you expect it to improve over time?
 
Old 12-10-2008, 11:50 AM
 
542 posts, read 1,168,706 times
Reputation: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Well, if she's growing facial hair, I believe that results from a hormonal imbalance. So something's up with that.

But, again, why are you asking a bunch of strangers? Steel up your nerve and simply ask.
A lot of women need to wax their upper lip and don't have a hormonal imbalance! I wax mine (although not as often as I should!) but I would never shave it. Waxing/plucking is best...no stubble.
 
Old 12-10-2008, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Chicago, Illinois
3,020 posts, read 5,966,245 times
Reputation: 1311
does anyone find that these problems all originate in the person wondering about it in the first place?

in our small minded society, based off of the television (yes that is right, the entire american society revolves around a box), open minded individuals who are different are seen as an oddity and since gays and lezbos are a punch line on a lot of comedy shows (because they are easy targets and funny), people tend to jump to conclusions and be like she's a lesbian. or he's a 3 dollar bill. bottomline is if people read a little bit more, they wouldn't be so narrow minded. just shut that tv off an hour early one night and see what your mind is capable of. that is unless you are afraid of your own mind's ability...

there is no problem with other people's spouses, the problem orginates in the one who is too small minded to realize the truth in the first place. the problem is there are a plethora of small minded people who jump to conclusions without thinking things through.
 
Old 12-10-2008, 07:43 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
14,702 posts, read 9,986,355 times
Reputation: 15268
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR View Post
How would I know if my wife were a lesbian? She never really seemed to like sex. Been married 16 years and the last 8 have been nill. Made me wear a condom all the time. I think once was without. IMO she thinks sex is dirty. Guys are pigs

Knows more about sports than most men. Always wears pants. Almost dresses a-sexual, if that makes sense.

Doesn't sleep under the same covers as me. She is on top of 2 layers that are over me.

Has not worn her wedding ring, or any jewerly in about 10 years.

Are there any tell tale signs?

That is first post of my original thread.

Everything in that post is how I feel and it has all turned me right off. I still think it is possible she has lesbian tendencies, but never explored them.

Another thing that was the kicker is this. She went to a spa back in 2000 or so. Got her upper lip waxed. Believe me it never needed it. She must have decided she liked it that way, so she started using a &#&@! razor.

To my surprise one night, I feel stubble. I found it absolutely disgusting.

The COMBONATION of all this has turned me off. I still FIRMLY believe that she could care less about sex. And if you don't want sex, I'm not going to make you have it.

Go ahead and pound me into the ground. I left that part out of the first thread. It is not all my fault, but I'm sure some of you will turn it ALL on me.



calipoppy, I didn't just wake up to this. It has been killing me for a long time. She was never ultra feminine, never wore heels.

I have not sought the affection elsewhere, but I ran into someone I knew through business. Sparks started flying on my part. Kind of talked with her about my marriage on the surface, hoping for more. Won't go anywhere. Probably a good thing.
After re-reading your post, I know that you are going to hand me my a$$.

Fine. But it is not all my fault. But, I'll take blame



How the he!! do you tell your wife to stop shaving. Like I said, she never needed to. And I will say it again. The combination of everything up top that is in italic is still there.

Go ahead, I'm crunched down with my hands over my head.



Your problem goes deeper than the fact that she shaves her "mustache". Stop asking irrelevant questions about her sexuality.

Its time for you to ask yourself why you have tolerated her emotional and sexual rejection for so long. At this point it really doesn't matter if she is a lesbian or not. She may or may not be. But you do know that she does not want you.

What are you doing that takes the place of the lack of affection (overeating, drinking, drugs, workaholic, internet porn, etc)? How are you feeling that void? 8 years is a very long time.

What would it take for you to confront yourself? It is obvious that this marriage shipwrecked long ago. I am not saying that your wife is blameless. Do you see yourself living for another 30 years in this same loveless marriage? Cut your losses, seek psychotherapy, find yourself and then find a real love. Life is just way too short.
 
Old 12-10-2008, 09:18 PM
 
Location: NoVa
17,977 posts, read 17,676,031 times
Reputation: 18247
I do not know if I missed it or not so I will ask my question.

Do you feel love in your relationship? I see that you have been w/o sex in your marriage. Have you been without love as well?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top