Scared ? or just lazy? (how to, girls, love, single)

[tfam4]

I moved out when i was 18 i just thinking back then it was not as hard as it is today the cost of living is so much higher now days. i have friends that still have there kids living with them from ages 22 to 27. so i ask all of you are the kids now days just lazy or or are parents just to scared to let there kids grow up

[SubaruFiend]

I'm 25.... I've lived on my own here and there for a few months a time like three times. I LOVEEEEE the freedom, and usually have a better relationship with my parents when I live away from them....... but honestly for me, it's saving me a LOT of money. I'm planning on moving out for good and moving 900 miles away in February (currently live in Chicago, moving to Denver).......

My mom has expressed that she will miss me a LOT. And if I have kids she's sad that her grandkids will be so far away. But I have to do this. I LOVE Denver, and my parents will most likely NEVER leave Chicago (we moved a lot when I was little, so my mom was ECSTATIC when we moved to Chicago cuz almost all of our extended family lives around the Chi)......

I like certain things about Chicago, but the cons outweigh the pros for me. I really love Denver in comparison.

I've been saving almost all of my money for the past six months to make the move. It's going to be really tight the first few months I'm there. But one of the benefits of moving there (and not moving out on my own in Chicago) is that it's like half the price to live out there. And with my company I'll still be making the same salary that I'm making here in Chicago. So It will benefit me a LOT.

I told my mom I'm only a 2 1/2 hour flight away. It really isn't that bad. She's just sad, I know why though. Her youngest is about to go off to college, I'm moving out 900 miles away and the middle child, even though she's moving back in, has plans to move back out for good within the year. So I know my mom is having empty nest syndrome.

I feel like too much of a mooch being 25 and still living at home. BUT I know of lots of people who are older then me living at home....... some families operate well that way. Some do it for financial security. SOmetimes the kids ARE just lazy and won't get out even though they have the means to, and the parents are pushovers and just let the kids squander........

but for the most part it's the economic situation and the ability to pool funds when everyone lives under one roof.

[dragon_fly_12]

Originally Posted by tfam4

I moved out when i was 18 i just thinking back then it was not as hard as it is today the cost of living is so much higher now days. i have friends that still have there kids living with them from ages 22 to 27. so i ask all of you are the kids now days just lazy or or are parents just to scared to let there kids grow up

Neither. Both. Just depends...

Cost of living is very, VERY high right now. Any smart young person putting him/her self through school will stay at home for the benefits of the cost. The lower your expenses, the less non-school related work you need to do in order to get by.

Roommates... Many, many roomie situations go sour quick. Real quick. If you have to have a roomie, why move in with someone that doesn't care if they make your life miserable (or, is insane but you don't find out til after you've moved in!) when you can live with the parental units that you already know you get along with?

With the current cost of living, young people that are in the middle class bracket either have to have a roommate or they barely scrape by on their own. My single friends that make better money than I do (but still middle class and under $30K/yr; all under age 30) are barely making ends meet paycheck to paycheck while living very conservatively. They make it work, somehow, but they work hard to pull it off. One just picked up a 2nd PT job so that she could save up a down payment to replace her car that is pushing 290K miles.

It is easier to stay home until you're in a position to become established. And, believe me... it is just as hard as a young person to stay at home - lack of freedom, lack of personal identity and discretion on how to live, lack of a social life in the privacy from your parents. I was out of my father's house at age 19, but had to move back in at age 26 due to getting laid off....... It was the hardest living arrangement I think I've ever dealt with after so many years of being out. I was grateful for the help, but would never do it again if I can help it.

[HookTheBrotherUp]

I was 17 when I left the nest. I thought I was mature, grown up and able to deal with life. 17! I am now in my mid 40s, and I wonder how the hell that happened.

To this day, I did not think it was strange, but I now have children, and I wonder how the heck I did it at 17.

I think it has to do with maturity. I was confident, and determined to make it on my own when I left home, 5 days after I had my high school graduation ceremony. I knew I had to leave the town where I grew up in.

I struggled, had to decide if I wanted a cheeseburger from McDonalds with a drink or a cheesburger with fries and water to drink. I was poor; I was able to afford an apartment, but not furnish it. I lived on the floor on blankets for almost two years. I hated school, but my employer paid for college, so I thought 'what the heck, the company pays, and gives me time of to attend class'. I went to college because it was sort of provided.

So, when I see kids, or even my newphew living at home, I have to say that there are a lot of lazy people out there.

[orangeapple]

It's cost of living. I moved on my own not long ago and I am mid 20s. I was looking for an apartment & a roommate for awhile.... I finally pushed for a raise on my job and stumbled upon a good deal without needing a room mate (soooo happy to be alone!).
I also wanted to wait & move out when I knew it would be permanent...I did not want have to crawl back home again. Before that, I was in college and then establishing myself in my job, and it made sense to save money on rent & food.

[NotARedneck]

I was 17 when I left. I'm now doing OK but with more support, things might have been better. My youngest brother (15 years my junior) was still home at 27. I should have never got my parents the VCR. They needed him to program it. I told them to kick the bum out but they ignored me. Give him some good advice was their futile request. He eventually left and did OK but if he had faced the economy I did, he'd be a panhandler.

[NotARedneck]

Too many only children exist today. I survived by living with others. Cheap, but you needed to co-operate and pull your weight. Beyond the capacity of today's youth who are used to Mommy doing it all for them! We kicked these types out!

[Dogsarecool]

Originally Posted by tfam4

I moved out when i was 18 i just thinking back then it was not as hard as it is today the cost of living is so much higher now days. i have friends that still have there kids living with them from ages 22 to 27. so i ask all of you are the kids now days just lazy or or are parents just to scared to let there kids grow up

Parents today are called "helicopter parents." They feel if the kid is living with them, they can see what their life will become. This all stems from parents not spending enough time with the kids while they were younger. Daycare and babysitters for the two income families.
Much different than when we were kids and Mom went to the PTA meetings. Both parents went to our band concerts, football games and other functions we were involved in.
We played outside (or told to do so), got involved in social activities at school, we had lots of friends, unlike the children of today who sit in front of the computer or tv playing video games.

[yankeegirl313]

I can remember the things that I done after I moved out!
Hhmmmm... think I will shelter him, or lock him in the basement!
Seriously, if he is a responsible kid, holds down a job, and doesn`t bring wild and crazy girls in my house, and carry on, then for his best interests, financially, he could stay at home, put some money back for when he goes off to college.
Now, if he is just plain lazy, can`t hold a job, and is disrespectful, then he needs to be taught that the things in life is not always handed to you, on a silver platter.
Most kids by that age know it all, and some just want to experience the freedom, and I can do this on my own. It is alot harder nowdays, but hopefully he will use his head, and realize that if he shows respect, and behaves himself, he can stay. Now..I`m talking about a younger age here...at least until he goes off to college.
Maybe he will go to a college close by...its hard to say. I`m rambling!

[restorationpromise]

This is OK - the child should pay rent or room/board at that age. I would not suggest this long term but desperate times may require it - you/they need privicy.