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Old 12-16-2008, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Hope, AR
1,505 posts, read 2,077,850 times
Reputation: 240

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I knew one. This person quickly became my "friend" and suddenly they needed to borrow money, get rides everywhere, and push me into risky behaviors that didn't benefit me at all. Neither of us had job at the time so he would call me up everyday and try to organize my schedule around doing things for him. He had scars on his wrists from a past suicide attempt. Eventually they were upfront with me that they had actually been diagnosed as sociopathic (among other things) during a stint in some kind of treatment center.
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Old 12-16-2008, 04:56 PM
 
25,248 posts, read 27,352,041 times
Reputation: 34488
Yeah, I knew one guy like that. He was a client contact who was canned. So I called him up after a month or so to find out how he was doing.

As it turned out, he didn't have anything going on, and just couldn't do anything at home with a wife and two kids. So, I said, "Well, Howard, I have a spare office. Just use the space here." So the guy shows up and sets up. Also, his old administrative assistant came by a lot to help out, etc. etc.

Well, this guy had been working on a book about restaurant operations. He brings it to me, and says, "Well, what do you think?" I say, "Howard, why don't I help you pitch this?"

So I write his query letter for him, send it out to 95 agents, and he gets five interested agents back. One of these agents has a hot prospect for his book, so he and I spend the weekend putting together a book proposal. The publisher buys the book. I mean, from initial query to final acceptance letter from publisher, the entire process took two weeks. Now, Howard still had to write the actual manuscript (Which I edited gratis), but that's record time in the publishing world.

Now, get this. The agent sells this book and gets him a six-figure advance. But Howard thinks he can get a better deal out of somebody else, so he's about to play one agent against another. I told him, "No way. It's a small world up there in the biz, and you'll never get another chance like this again." So he stuck with the agent.

Then Howard comes to me with this hair-brained idea for a restaurant. So I look it over and say, "You know, with this book deal, you don't need to open a restaurant. You need to capitalize off your book by opening a consultancy instead." The light bulb came on and he started working furiously on the idea. I wrote the business plan, I committed others in my organization to help with the business plan, and I was going to get a 20% cut of the biz. Now, mind you, the idea for this business didn't exist until I told the guy about it.

So, I connect him with lawyers who are skilled in finding venture capital, etc. etc. etc. I develop the presentation materials, etc. Some of the nicest presentation material ever. In fact, the law firm asked me to start consulting for some of their clients, they were so impressed.

Anyway, we were about to sign our first set of investors when, one day, I'm at the fax machine in my office and this document comes over. It's from Howard's lawyers writing about the shareholder's agreement, which should pertain to me. Yet, according to the lawyer's memo, I'm not one of the shareholders. Now, thinking this was a mistake, I say, "Howard, I'm sorry, but I saw this. Now, according to our written agreement, I am a 20% shareholder in this organization." To which Howard says, "I know. But my lawyers thought that wasn't a good idea." And when was he going to tell me all that?

So, it boils down to this. I pluck this guy out of unemployment, give him an office, play an indispensable role in landing a book contract, and give him a million-dollar consulting idea, and the guy tries to screw me over. So I chuck him out of my office, change the locks, and send him a firebreathing note from my attorney stating that all business plans, and presentation materials were my intellectual property, and were no longer available for his use. He didn't have a leg to stand on, but three months' work on my part was flushed down the drain, simply because he tried to screw me over.

He was hired to manage a chain of restaurants in California, but was fired for being such an a-hole there, and he was caught by his wife having an affair with the former executive assistant (My suspicions about the two had grown over time). Since then, he's stiffed everybody in town. However, the guy has the golden tongue and lies without compunction, so he always can find somebody to browbeat.
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Old 12-16-2008, 04:59 PM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,385,244 times
Reputation: 6709
Strange diagnosis because Sociopaths aren't usually suicidal. Maybe a guy that is borderline or bipolar is suicidal and very controlling. What you described doesn't really fit for a sociopath.

Sociopaths are pretty common in certain fields of work. I see them often. They use, exploit, neglect, invalidate, pick arguments, pit people against each other, dishonor the rights of others, conspire against a scapegoat, and almost always come out on top looking successful and innocent.

What you described doesn't really sound sociopathic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu101 View Post
I knew one. This person quickly became my "friend" and suddenly they needed to borrow money, get rides everywhere, and push me into risky behaviors that didn't benefit me at all. Neither of us had job at the time so he would call me up everyday and try to organize my schedule around doing things for him. He had scars on his wrists from a past suicide attempt. Eventually they were upfront with me that they had actually been diagnosed as sociopathic (among other things) during a stint in some kind of treatment center.
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,250 posts, read 6,691,451 times
Reputation: 5924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lulu101 View Post
I knew one. This person quickly became my "friend" and suddenly they needed to borrow money, get rides everywhere, and push me into risky behaviors that didn't benefit me at all. Neither of us had job at the time so he would call me up everyday and try to organize my schedule around doing things for him. He had scars on his wrists from a past suicide attempt. Eventually they were upfront with me that they had actually been diagnosed as sociopathic (among other things) during a stint in some kind of treatment center.

That is not the behavior of a Sociopath. I know, I was married to a real one.

Antisocial Personality, Sociopathy, and Psychopathy
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:14 PM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,385,244 times
Reputation: 6709
Exactly. Did you see my post?

I know sociopaths and they are slick, smart, and put together people. They have no guilt or concern for the rights of others. That's pretty much a neon sign for the "disorder".

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
That is not the behavior of a Sociopath. I know, I was married to a real one.

Antisocial Personality, Sociopathy, and Psychopathy
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:23 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 17,016,507 times
Reputation: 7254
My friends almost exhusband is a sociopath and he would have suicide "attempts"... ALWAYS after major fights or when he was busted for bad behavior(cocaine, women, gambling, etc) and he would take off for a few days at a time, answer his phone sounding down and out, depressed and then his phone would go dead.

Well, "Suicide Watch 2007) was his last one and it was the same scenario...took off, threatening to kill himself, phone goes dead, and goes missing.

My friend had enough and went to an attorney during his stunt and after he got home from "Suicide Watch 2007" she received a call from a hotel/casino in Atlantic City where he had stayed while he was gone and he had an outstanding bill at the "box"...

So, perhaps the OP's sociopath is not truly trying to kill himself, just threatening it for attention and to scare her to stay with him...just a thought.

BTW, she filed for divorce the day after she got the call from the hotel/casino.
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:24 PM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,385,244 times
Reputation: 6709
Ugh maybe the drugs did him in? Made him go real crazy? There is a mental disorder where you go nuts while on and off drugs.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
My friends almost exhusband is a sociopath and he would have suicide "attempts"... ALWAYS after major fights or when he was busted for bad behavior(cocaine, women, gambling, etc) and he would take off for a few days at a time, answer his phone sounding down and out, depressed and then his phone would go dead.

Well, "Suicide Watch 2007) was his last one and it was the same scenario...took off, threatening to kill himself, phone goes dead, and goes missing.

My friend had enough and went to an attorney during his stunt and after he got home from "Suicide Watch 2007" she received a call from a hotel/casino in Atlantic City where he had stayed while he was gone and he had an outstanding bill at the "box"...

So, perhaps the OP's sociopath is not truly trying to kill himself, just threatening it for attention and to scare her to stay with him...just a thought.

BTW, she filed for divorce the day after she got the call from the hotel/casino.
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Old 12-16-2008, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Hope, AR
1,505 posts, read 2,077,850 times
Reputation: 240
He told me that he was diagnosed as "sociopathic personality" while he was in a treatment center. He was good at manipulating people, although people were on to him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Strange diagnosis because Sociopaths aren't usually suicidal. Maybe a guy that is borderline or bipolar is suicidal and very controlling. What you described doesn't really fit for a sociopath.

Sociopaths are pretty common in certain fields of work. I see them often. They use, exploit, neglect, invalidate, pick arguments, pit people against each other, dishonor the rights of others, conspire against a scapegoat, and almost always come out on top looking successful and innocent.

What you described doesn't really sound sociopathic.
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Old 12-16-2008, 06:06 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 17,016,507 times
Reputation: 7254
Maybe he was faking the suicide attempts for attention after all! They are quite manipulative and this may be his way of trying to keep you in his life through guilt or fear he will try again...don't put anything past him...

BTW, I don't know of a single serial killer or child molester that was not a sociopath...please be careful...
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Old 12-16-2008, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,308 posts, read 8,645,070 times
Reputation: 9485
I was involved with one off and on for 5 years (explains why we were "off and on." ) He eventually hooked up with one of my closest friends and married her (best thing to ever happen to me...and yes, I was in the bridal party. ) He's now a successful lawyer in NY & DC attempting to become a politician. LOL.

Back then I had no idea despite people suggesting he was. It wasn't until he started dating my friend and I was on the other end, listening to her problems with him, that I was able to see it.


This description/profile totally fits my friend's husband: Profile of a Sociopath
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