Would you? (love, husband, older, separate)

[no8fann]

If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)

When is enough, enough?

If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?

[lincolnparker]

no, never, i never give someone a second chance!

[Mr.Cat]

It depends.

[HIF]

No. No more chances. I would hope that I would look inward to see what made me put up with that treatment for so long, address those issues and then find someone who deserves me and whom I deserve.

[Whyte Byrd]

I gave my ex husband second chances for 19 years so as much as I'd like to say I learned quickly, I didn't. But I'm older and a little wiser now. I feel my options and couldn't put myself through it again. One chance is enough.

[lincolnparker]

yeah. totally agreed!

people just rarely change. I mean there might be a 1% chance that he or she might appreciate a second chance from you and therefore change to make it work, but it rarely happens. Its not worth your time, pain, and suffering to go through it again, because 99% of the time, you are just wasting your time.

Originally Posted by Public_Newsense

I gave my ex husband second chances for 19 years so as much as I'd like to say I learned quickly, I didn't. But I'm older and a little wiser now. I feel my options and couldn't put myself through it again. One chance is enough.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by Mr.Cat

It depends.

I agree.

[Oildog]

Why are you still in this after 5 years of bad stuff? If they havent made changes hit the road already.

[bmwguydc]

As long as it is not a situation that causes harm to oneself, I tend to give people a second chance. But, after that, as much as there might be a familiarity or attraction, third, fourth, fifth, etc. chances rarely have a probability of success. I would not end things on a sour note, however, just let things fade into the sunset cordially.

[cobolt]

Sounds like you've been giving second upon second chances for at least five years. How's that working out for you? This person is telling you that he/she is an eagle and when you say "okay, spread your wings and fly," this person can't. Instead this person disregards you and the relationship. Know why? Because worms can't sprout wings, regardless of how much they claim they are eagles. So, aim high and ditch the worm. Fly with the eagles already!