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By the time I turned 40, I knew who I was, was proud of who I was and was happy with my place in life. I had accomplished many of my goals and didn't feel like I had to impress anybody. The one word I use to hear a lot was that I was "unique".. I was always the same... HAPPY! I did not wear make up all the time and many men told me I was still pretty without make up where some women look pretty with it and horriable without it.
I think in your 20's and 30's, you are trying to discover who you are and what/where your place in life is. By 40, you know and the inner beauty shows through.
I ask for women over 40 because they have been around long enough to answer this question realisitcally and honestly.
This does not apply to all but moreso in a general sense. I have observed that younger women 18 up to mid to late thirties are somewhat very concerned about their outter appearance, mainly how cute they are.
I notice this more with women in their 20's. It seems that looks are everything or just about everything. NO, I am not saying looks are not important because they are. What I am saying is, it seems to be much more emphasis at 20 than it is at 40.
I notice this at the gym. It seems like the 20 somethings are looking around to see who's looking and the 40 somethings are more focused on their workout and leaving. I notice the 20 somethings are the ones eating up all the attention they get from the male gym staff but the 40 somethings seem to not be phased by it, again focusing on their workout . This is just one example.
I also notice women that are over 40, IMO, really have a great understanding of what being sexy is. I think the 20 year olds confuse sluty with being sexy.
So my question is, how have you changed in the way you view yourself and how important your looks are?
I know looks are important but what I am saying is, at 40 you're probably more concenred with being a more quality person moreso than some young attention seeker.
Thanks for reading
Ron
I think you are right in that many 20 year olds view slutty as sexy which is really too bad. There's a lot of very good looking girls out there and when they display all their goods for the whole world to see...it's obvious they just don't get it.
How have I changed? I was never really in to spending hours on my looks, I always dressed how I wanted to and got plenty of dates. I looked pretty good without trying, back then...that sounds egotistical but its not. So I just did whatever made me comfortable and I think that drew people to me.
However, I was always looking for the wrong person. I ended up in stupid relationships trying to find someone to fill a role that I was missing.
God what a waste of time and if I could, I'd go back and smack some sense in to myself.
Now I'm no longer fooled by the lines and the b.s. and have little patience for anyone who thinks they can fool me with it.
I still dress however makes me comfortable without trying to look like a total rag bag. Easy to get away with that when younger, it's hip and chic, now, when you get past a certain age it looks dumpy. So, do have to be careful there. I think my biggest change though is that now, I'm pretty oblivious if someone is checking me out or flirting with me. I've had friends tell me that someone was doing that and I respond with, "Really?!"
I ask for women over 40 because they have been around long enough to answer this question realisitcally and honestly.
This does not apply to all but moreso in a general sense. I have observed that younger women 18 up to mid to late thirties are somewhat very concerned about their outter appearance, mainly how cute they are.
I notice this more with women in their 20's. It seems that looks are everything or just about everything. NO, I am not saying looks are not important because they are. What I am saying is, it seems to be much more emphasis at 20 than it is at 40.
I notice this at the gym. It seems like the 20 somethings are looking around to see who's looking and the 40 somethings are more focused on their workout and leaving. I notice the 20 somethings are the ones eating up all the attention they get from the male gym staff but the 40 somethings seem to not be phased by it, again focusing on their workout . This is just one example.
I also notice women that are over 40, IMO, really have a great understanding of what being sexy is. I think the 20 year olds confuse sluty with being sexy.
So my question is, how have you changed in the way you view yourself and how important your looks are?
I know looks are important but what I am saying is, at 40 you're probably more concenred with being a more quality person moreso than some young attention seeker.
Thanks for reading
Ron
Not 40 yet but 30's is definitely different than the 20's.
- I tend to see things to the finish line (more goal oriented)
- Looks focused more because its a hobby not a social validation
- More aware of how sensitive even the toughest guy can be
- cooking skills have improved
- obsessed with having a clean house and good order
- less reliant on the opinions of others
- more into monogamy than dating around
- changed my mind on children
- collected a couple degrees in finding out what I want to do professionally and that exposure helped in other ways too
- I don't go running to friends with problems to talk about it. More emotionally independent I guess you would say
- definitely more health focused when it comes to food and avoiding unhealthy items
- When s hits the fan I get calm and TCOB instead of freaking out
- I question people's motivations and character much more deeply
- Much better with money
- Have no problem cutting out toxic people when needed
- Have no problem being open with what I expect from relationships
- Used to dress like a punk back in the day, not now.
I can't wait till after 40...the wrinkles will be worth the exchange of emotional ease.
So my question is, how have you changed in the way you view yourself and how important your looks are?
The other day I had worked half the day before I realized my shirt was inside out. I was also barefoot, I left my shoes in the car, because the chigger bites on my ankles were bothering me.
I really dont give a horses hairy behind as long as Im clean and smell good, or at least dont stink, but then I never really was a girlie girl.
I'm 38 but I'm close enough to 40 to be able to respond.
-Career goals took a backseat to other priorities in life throughout my 20s and 30s but now I'm back in school and in the process of getting my degree. I now look at career as much more important.
-When I was in my 20s I wanted several kids. Now...I have a 10 year old son but I'm done having kids. I love my son very much but I've got too much going on in life to focus on raising another baby. Plus, I love my life the way it is.
-Marriage used to be important to me when I was younger? Now...I'm very independent and if I never get married, I'll be fine.
-I experienced a lot of drama and stress in my 20s and 30s that I forgot how to have fun. Now...I live for the moment. I try to be carefree and free-spirited, with a youthful attitude. I take care of my appearance and I love wearing fun clothes.
The older I got, the more comfortable I've become with talking to people, especially strangers.
Otherwise, I feel that time stopped for me when I entered my 30's... I still dress in t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. I don't wear makeup and I don't do high heels. My hair is usually tied back in a simple ponytail. And most people I meet think me in my 30's.
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This sums it up.
