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My sister and BIL are coming to visit. We own a camper and are going to set it up for them to stay in. The problem is that everytime we visit them, my BIL doesn't allow us to come to their house. It gets my sister so mad! He is not friendly with any of us either. Now that they are coming to visit us, we are being generous by letting them use our camper, but what about allowing my BIL to visit our house? My DH came up with a great point and said my sister is welcome here, but her DH isn not. I can't blame him. My sister keeps asking me if it's OK if they come to the house. I told her it would probably be fine being that we are not that way. My DH said "I don't have to be here if he visits?" or I know he'll just go in the bedroom. My sister is talking about hanging out here and having a barbeque. I don't have a problem with it, but it feels really uncomfortable.
I am the kind of person who treats people the same way they treat me. If I'm not allowed in your house you sure enough won't be allowed in mine. I would let your SIL in your house and let the ungrateful one sleep with the dog outside. How about them apples?
I think the idiot here isn't your BIL. It's your sister.
You need to have a heart-to-heart and find out what his deal is. Then it is up to her to walk in while he's reading the newspaper and say, "It's my family, dammit. They're staying with us, and you're going to like it, or you'll be eating pork and beans and going without any for the rest of your cotton-picking life." Then slam the front door as she leaves.
He sounds like a jerk. But she sounds as if she doesn't have a backbone. But when they come visit, you'll kill them with kindness, because family is family.
Why is your husband being so difficult? It sounds like he is playing tit for tat instead of acting like an adult. If he feels that strongly (maybe more to the story) you need to respect his wishes. Tell your sister that they are welcome to the camper, but not to your house. If she wants to all get together, go out to dinner.
My sister and BIL are coming to visit. We own a camper and are going to set it up for them to stay in. The problem is that everytime we visit them, my BIL doesn't allow us to come to their house. It gets my sister so mad! He is not friendly with any of us either. Now that they are coming to visit us, we are being generous by letting them use our camper, but what about allowing my BIL to visit our house? My DH came up with a great point and said my sister is welcome here, but her DH isn not. I can't blame him. My sister keeps asking me if it's OK if they come to the house. I told her it would probably be fine being that we are not that way. My DH said "I don't have to be here if he visits?" or I know he'll just go in the bedroom. My sister is talking about hanging out here and having a barbeque. I don't have a problem with it, but it feels really uncomfortable.
Have you ever discussed or asked your sister why your BIL wouldn't ever let you in? If I know me, I'd probably be Pee'od at my sister, for not putting her foot down and allowing you to come into THEIR house (you are after all, her sister).
My sister and BIL are coming to visit. We own a camper and are going to set it up for them to stay in. The problem is that everytime we visit them, my BIL doesn't allow us to come to their house. It gets my sister so mad! He is not friendly with any of us either. Now that they are coming to visit us, we are being generous by letting them use our camper, but what about allowing my BIL to visit our house? My DH came up with a great point and said my sister is welcome here, but her DH isn not. I can't blame him. My sister keeps asking me if it's OK if they come to the house. I told her it would probably be fine being that we are not that way. My DH said "I don't have to be here if he visits?" or I know he'll just go in the bedroom. My sister is talking about hanging out here and having a barbeque. I don't have a problem with it, but it feels really uncomfortable.
This makes no sense?????
You go to visit your sister and she doesn't let you into her house??
Is it just the husbands that don't get along? If so, why doesn't your sister just come to visit by herself?
Why would you go visit your sister if you aren't allowed in her house?
I think you should let them both come over. Just because your BIL is a jerk and won't let you come over doesn't mean you should stoop to his level. He might even rethink how he acted in the past when he sees how you opened your home to him. Either way you get to spend quality time with your sister. If her husband is a jerk when he's in your home after you gave it a good try then kick him to the curb. I think you'll feel better knowing that you did the right thing and how it ends up is really up to him & your sister will see that and maybe see her husband a little differently too.
My sister and BIL are coming to visit. We own a camper and are going to set it up for them to stay in. The problem is that everytime we visit them, my BIL doesn't allow us to come to their house. It gets my sister so mad! He is not friendly with any of us either. Now that they are coming to visit us, we are being generous by letting them use our camper, but what about allowing my BIL to visit our house? My DH came up with a great point and said my sister is welcome here, but her DH isn not. I can't blame him. My sister keeps asking me if it's OK if they come to the house. I told her it would probably be fine being that we are not that way. My DH said "I don't have to be here if he visits?" or I know he'll just go in the bedroom. My sister is talking about hanging out here and having a barbeque. I don't have a problem with it, but it feels really uncomfortable.
He doesn't let you in the house or he doesn't want you STAYING in the house as in the whole guest bedroom thing. I can somewhat understand the staying thing if it's going to uncomfortable etc. but to not let you in their house at all? Errr....is he growing weed or cooking meth etc. there? Serious question.
If he won't even let you come to your house, I would basically tell the sis that it's uncomfortable for him to do that and as such if she wants to come then leave him at home.
The problem is he can be abusive to her. That's a whole other story. I know if he came here, my DH wouldn't say anything, he just would rather not talk ot him at all. My sister thinks he's that way b/c his whole family is back in England. She says b/c he's doesn't family, he thinks she shouldn't either. She tried to explain to him that we are family. He just doesn't want to accept that.
If your sister is in an abusive relationship, the last thing you want to do is alienate her. She needs all the support she can get. Let her and her husband into your house, tell your DH to suck it up.
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He is not friendly with any of us either. Now that they are coming to visit us, we are being generous by letting them use our camper, but what about allowing my BIL to visit our house? My DH came up with a great point and said my sister is welcome here, but her DH isn not. I can't blame him. My sister keeps asking me if it's OK if they come to the house. I told her it would probably be fine being that we are not that way. My DH said "I don't have to be here if he visits?" or I know he'll just go in the bedroom. My sister is talking about hanging out here and having a barbeque. I don't have a problem with it, but it feels really uncomfortable. 
