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Old 12-27-2008, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
283 posts, read 758,030 times
Reputation: 195

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Do men really think that they are going to find true love with a mail order bride? I keep being amazed at all these men who actually believe that somehow it will happen for them, despite all the well documented scams and cases where the women leave after they get a visa.
A friend of mine recently got married to a girl from an Asian country whom he found online. I'm sure that he expected her to be submissive and adoring, but reality is far from that. She is demanding and expects him to support her while she stays at home and is far from submissive. So now he is looking at going to Eastern Europe. He probably thinks that women are different there!
The naivete is really amazing to me. Don't men realize that they are just tickets out of the country into a better lifestyle for these girls? That as soon as they get a visa they'll be looking to leave them, and that true love rarely if ever happens in these situations? I'm sure a woman may end up liking the guy in some cases, but seriously..
It just always amazes me that western men are filled with hopes for romance instead of treating it like a business transaction.

 
Old 12-27-2008, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,857 posts, read 30,111,292 times
Reputation: 19040
MEN are so Naive Period.
 
Old 12-27-2008, 04:55 PM
 
1,818 posts, read 3,086,725 times
Reputation: 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by spyrals View Post
Do men really think that they are going to find true love with a mail order bride? I keep being amazed at all these men who actually believe that somehow it will happen for them, despite all the well documented scams and cases where the women leave after they get a visa.
A friend of mine recently got married to a girl from an Asian country whom he found online. I'm sure that he expected her to be submissive and adoring, but reality is far from that. She is demanding and expects him to support her while she stays at home and is far from submissive. So now he is looking at going to Eastern Europe. He probably thinks that women are different there!
The naivete is really amazing to me. Don't men realize that they are just tickets out of the country into a better lifestyle for these girls? That as soon as they get a visa they'll be looking to leave them, and that true love rarely if ever happens in these situations? I'm sure a woman may end up liking the guy in some cases, but seriously..
It just always amazes me that western men are filled with hopes for romance instead of treating it like a business transaction.
It may work for a few, but you are right, that most are looking for a ticket. As far as being submissive, my guess would be that many American women would'nt fall into that catagory either. Is it not usually an older gentlemen that is looking for a young girl to boost his ego?

Last edited by sassyone; 12-27-2008 at 06:04 PM..
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Sydney, Australia
283 posts, read 758,030 times
Reputation: 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassyone View Post
It may work for a few, but you are right, that most are looking for a ticket. As far as being submissive, my guess would be that many American women would not fall into that catagory either. Is it not usually an older gentlemen that is looking for a young girl to boost his ego?
older men know better :P i dont think older guys purchasing a young girl have any illusions about love. i think its usually younger guys who are too inexperienced and think it's easier to buy a girl than have to put all that effort into actually developing a relationship with one. plenty of western women are submissive! not all of us have the need to be dominating and aggressive
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:13 PM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,185,727 times
Reputation: 6366
I wouldn't let any friend do the mail order bride thing. Never. P**** for a green card? Please....

But then again I probably wouldn't be friends with anyone that would even go for that.

Should ship her back to where her and cheap toys like her came from.
You are basically buying and imported hooker. What do they expect?!
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,940,913 times
Reputation: 13467
Eastern European women ... submissive??? Excuse me while I get on the floor and laugh my ass off!!! I am basically surrounded by Eastern Europeans at every competition I attend and let me tell you - they are very strong-willed and aggressive. I haven't seen one of them yet with a submissive bone in their body! My son is also dating an Eastern European gal and she's no shrinking violet!
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:23 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,601,841 times
Reputation: 7738
I think using those marriage services and trying to marry someone you don't know and can't speak the language is not too bright.

For one thing with these deals is that bringing someone into the country and getting married to them is very complicated and expensive and it's not something you do lightly. I suspect most people do not have any idea what they are getting into when they marry a foreign national. I think for my brother in law his final interview/test whatever it is, is in Feb 2009 and he married my sister in Oct 2003. I'm staggered at all the crap they have had to go through at their own expense.

There are some cases where some of these marriage agency marriages work, so I'm not about to cast judgment on those who do that route. Just that they should be very cautious about what they are doing.

I dated a lot of foreign women that came to the USA on visas to work in ski resorts and also dated while living outside the country. I think most Americans have inflated views of themselves and think everyone wants to live here. I found in all the dating I did, most foreign women were very reluctant to leave all their friends and family behind to come to the USA and start over.

I have a LOT of friends, men and women, that married foreign nationals and in all I know they all are very happy and it is working out. I think much of that is because these types of marriages require even more commitment to make it work than your average marriage.

I do know of one case we had a girl from south america that announced she was here to strictly meet and marry an American. It was kind of a parody really because it was so obvious she was loopy. She finally convinced this one guy to marry her. Supposedly there was a payoff of $10K. How the INS ever let them through in the initial interview I will never know because they were so polar opposite in everything including looks, that it was so obviously a scam. Within a few months she had drained his bank accounts and then hit him over the head with a frying pan. Eventually it cost him a bit of money but she was charged and deported and apparently can never return to the USA.

To me if you really want to have an exotic relationship or action, there are other ways of going about it or meeting people. I mean why do you have to get married in two weeks? Who would do that? I travel to Australia and NZ alot and there are many places to avoid, but a few certain towns, cities, where backpackers congregate and you can easily meet single people from all over the world. And if you do meet people, after you have parted ways you can stay in touch via email or facebook and take it from there. If the conversation peters out via email, then it probably would never work anyways. I like to travel so I like likeminded women that don't mind exploring or getting their hands dirty or have to have their dinners paid for.
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,639 posts, read 40,940,913 times
Reputation: 13467
I don't think you can get married in two weeks. Isn't there some rule that you have to be dating for a minimum 2 years and you have to show proof that you've been dating such as photos of the two of you together, receipts showing flights for the past two years to and from the foreign country? I know someone who had to go through all of this. He literally jumped through hoops to bring his fiancee here from Ukraine. He is a surgeon and of course, she is very beautiful and young. She got here, they married and 5 years later they divorced.
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:31 PM
 
9,846 posts, read 22,601,841 times
Reputation: 7738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
Eastern European women ... submissive??? Excuse me while I get on the floor and laugh my ass off!!! I am basically surrounded by Eastern Europeans at every competition I attend and let me tell you - they are very strong-willed and aggressive. I haven't seen one of them yet with a submissive bone in their body! My son is also dating an Eastern European gal and she's no shrinking violet!
Oh yeah no question. Russian and other slavic women are pretty tough cookies. A lot of them might be beautiful, but as you say they are not shrinking violets.

I don't know who came up with the idea foreign women are submissive. They might use that word because they don't have a lot of hang ups about sex or pay the control card like american women do over sex, but they sure as hell are not submissive.

Any american guy that thinks he's going to get a Russian gal and she is going to be a slave, he's toast.

I know in the Philippines for instance, it is a matriarch oriented society that men are submissive to women. All the women I've seen from there are hell on wheels. I'd never marry a Filipino.

I have found in my world of travels cultures vary quite a lot everywhere so it's wise to know as much as possible if fiddling in foreign relations.
 
Old 12-27-2008, 05:35 PM
 
8,411 posts, read 39,185,727 times
Reputation: 6366
Probably from the pimp that was selling the overseas sugar!

Slavesmen er I mean pimps..OOOh I mean salesmen like to tell you what you want to hear.
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