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He probably did really love you it sounds. But starting with someone who is married is always complicated. They fall in love with someone else but then the reality of leaving their children, their home, their routine gets pretty hard in the end. I must admit when I met my husband we were both married. He had already filed (I was not in the picture) and my husband was in a mental hospital and I filed. But the road was hard, dealing with five children between us made it very difficult. Plus we lived in a small town. We have been married 20 years now.
If you are really unhappy then deal with your situation first. Be independent and then find another single person and start a relationship. This is hard on you I'm sure...might be time to move on. Don't let the thought of this person ruin your life or control you.
i just turned 40, have a child and stuck in a loveless and useless marriage for 14 years. 2 years ago, i met a wonderful married man. we hit it off immediately and have so much in common, it is unbelievable. we believe we found our soul mates. we are so much in love and cared about each other sincerely. we were planning to share a life together after we've made our divorces final. unfortunately, although his wife is aware that he is seeing me, his side has been delayed due to his children who are undergoing their final exams in 2 years time. until then, he has no heart to break his family to ensure his children do not suffer the ordeal of divorcing their mom while they are still studying for their exams. we talked about this many times and i had believed him to be sincere and genuine. i do not doubt his love for me is real even to this day. he promised me never to leave me even if his wife refuses to divorce him, he will still live with me in future. i knew we just had to wait.
Recently, we had a big fight where i revealed to the wife the extent of our relationship. it got to him so bad that he broke off with me, there and then without hesitation.
why did he change so suddenly? i told him with this happening, i will still be there for him to wait for him till he settled everything but now he seems to want to go back to the wife instead of wanting me to wait. in other words, he has asked me to leave him for good because he is so confused and cannot bear to put his children in this agony.
what should i do? should i hang on and wait for him or walk away from all this? we had so much going, i cannot imagine life without him. please tell me what to do? has anyone been in a similar situation who can advise me? i would also like to hear success stories on such relationships, not just the negative ones (the ones with bad endings) but good endings or are these relationships just doomed to fail? would appreciate your thoughts.
Maybe because you have no business discussing anything with his wife. It's his marriage with her not yours and you should let him deal with it the way he sees fit.
A couple of things. The OP talked a lot more about HIS family than her own. That tells us where her focus is. Of course her marriage is so bad, she is totally wrapped up in this other man. Also, say he does leave his wife and you and he play house. Will you both ever trust each other? It will always be in the back of your head, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
I disagree with most of the posts in that I don't necessarily think that it was his intent all along to 'play' you. People like to make that assumption and label the married man the 'bad guy'. He may really be scared and confused and torn about the whole thing. However, its not right to string things along like this. Make a decision, for better or worse, and stick to it and suffer the consequences.
Final exams? Oh, my. Time to move on. Work on your marriage- you owe it to your child. Good luck.
I thought the same thing that should have some neon lights that he was just using her
she had to wait two years for the kids to take test - that has to be the dumbest excuse that I have heard
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