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Old 12-31-2008, 06:44 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,565,345 times
Reputation: 22474

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Quote:
Originally Posted by betterintime View Post
I kinda knew I'd get this type of respose. I've cut him off sexually, adn I don't plan to see him that oftenanymore. However, Last time I didn't answer his phone calls, he showed up at my door worried about me. His feeling for me are genuine but you are all right. If he cares for me, likes spending time with me and enjoys me sexually this much than why am I not good enough to be with. I don't think He wants to let me go yet I don't think he wants the comitment anymore. I'm sure he loves being able to talk to anyone in anyway he likes without feeling guilty. I need to show him that I don't "need" him anymore. How do you get over someone whom you were sure was "the one". Something I didn't mention was that he has a son. 5 years old now, so I've basically been there since he was 2. God I miss him. Its like loosing a son of my own. to add, his family and I were really close, so close 2 of his sisters are my good friends. I'm afraid I'll never be able to get him out of my life and move on. And Yes... I'm not even close to being over him even after all he has put me though.
I'd just tell him you can't be friends with him, that it's time that he move on and let you move on. There's more for you out there somewhere. You won't find it with him around.
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,622,012 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Sorry, yankee, but I find this concept ridiculous. So does Oscar Wilde, btw. Most people break up precisely because they're NOT friends. Had they been these good friends, they'd stay together and work out whatever problems they have. So what are we talking about...?
Why is this so ridiculous for you to understand? Do you have an ex?
If not, then that just maybe the reason, you can`t understand.
I know of someone who has been married to the same man for 18 years.
She loves him, but she is not in love with him. She says its more like her best friend, not a husband. She said that he feels the same way, but they feel obligated to stay married, for the kids.
They want to get divorced after the kids are grown, but want to remain good friends. You don`t think that they can do this, because they should remain together, because they are good friends, and should work out there problems, because of this?

I should also add, that me and my ex remain on a friendship level. That DOES NOT mean that we still are attracted to each other, or hanky panky goes on between us. It simply means, that we are grown adults, who behave on a grown up level. Geezzz us.

Last edited by yankeegirl313; 12-31-2008 at 06:53 PM..
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,042,435 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Do you have an ex?
No, yankee, I just got hatched a few minutes ago and I'm still wet.

Whatever... all are entitled to their beliefs.
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:53 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,253,323 times
Reputation: 55556
saw one today. me and another guy helped her move. her ex was in a rage.
after the move, she wanted to go back alone and chat with her ex about the plant she took.
jes cant let go. cant do it.
gets girls killed and beat up alot doin that.
the kick in the head is the absolute confidence that she can handle him any time despite the fact that she hired a goon to make sure he did not beat her up when she left him.
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,622,012 times
Reputation: 24104
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
No, yankee, I just got hatched a few minutes ago and I'm still wet.

Whatever... all are entitled to their beliefs.
I thought so....
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:59 PM
 
1,818 posts, read 3,089,021 times
Reputation: 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Why is this so ridiculous for you to understand? Do you have an ex?
If not, then that just maybe the reason, you can`t understand.
I know of someone who has been married to the same man for 18 years.
She loves him, but she is not in love with him. She says its more like her best friend, not a husband. She said that he feels the same way, but they feel obligated to stay married, for the kids.
They want to get divorced after the kids are grown, but want to remain good friends. You don`t think that they can do this, because they should remain together, because they are good friends, and should work out there problems, because of this?
I can understand it, I have been there and done that. My EX and I were married for 15 years and then the divorce. There were several years of barely speaking, but we get along great now...much better than when we were married. I can look back and appreciate the person he was when we got married. We are both happily married to new mates now, in fact he married my best friend and the ex wife of his best friend. It is much better for children when their parents can get along.
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Old 12-31-2008, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
17,619 posts, read 22,575,993 times
Reputation: 14350
Can't we all just git along.........................
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Old 12-31-2008, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,622,012 times
Reputation: 24104
We are!
We are not fighting.....we are just disagreeing, which is ok. Thats the way the ol` World turns, and how we all learn.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,729,518 times
Reputation: 8575
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Why is this so ridiculous for you to understand? Do you have an ex?
If not, then that just maybe the reason, you can`t understand.
I know of someone who has been married to the same man for 18 years.
She loves him, but she is not in love with him. She says its more like her best friend, not a husband. She said that he feels the same way, but they feel obligated to stay married, for the kids.
They want to get divorced after the kids are grown, but want to remain good friends. You don`t think that they can do this, because they should remain together, because they are good friends, and should work out there problems, because of this?

I should also add, that me and my ex remain on a friendship level. That DOES NOT mean that we still are attracted to each other, or hanky panky goes on between us. It simply means, that we are grown adults, who behave on a grown up level. Geezzz us.
The OP's situation is not that of an ex with children who wishes to maintain a friendship for reasons that will benefit her or others. She is still one-sidedly, decidedly, in love with this guy.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:35 AM
 
3,393 posts, read 4,003,643 times
Reputation: 9310
I would agree with the idea that they can remain friends except for the fact that he is sexually using her and manipulating her.
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