Funny Thoughts or Stories.... (wife, women, love, hubby)

[Mathguy]

Share any funny thoughts or stories here, good to get in some comedy relief amongst threads that are mostly negative here.

I just saw a thread over in Parenting about breast feeding a 6yo.
Errr....if the kid gets much older they are going to have to move that thread to THIS forum.

[Raggy dee Ann]

Originally Posted by Mathguy

Share any funny thoughts or stories here, good to get in some comedy relief amongst threads that are mostly negative here.

I just saw a thread over in Parenting about breast feeding a 6yo.
Errr....if the kid gets much older they are going to have to move that thread to THIS forum.

If the kid gets any older it's gonna have to be posted on a adult site for freaky people

[gizmobizmo]

Well, this is a little embarrassing but those are sometimes the funniest stories........

I am a big fan of vitamins, herbs and homeopathic remedies and preventatives. I should own a healthfood store since I'm there so much.

Anyhow, recently I started one of those "cleanses." The purpose is to flush the toxins out of your kidneys, liver and intestines. My hubby loves to make fun of me when I do this. Last night, we went to Wal-Mart to pick up some incidentals and I saw "Charmin" toilet paper on sale. It was cheaper than any of the others but only in the 24 roll Mega Pack.

I grab one and am moseying down the aisles, trying to find my hubby, who has the cart. When I find him, he looks at the Mega Pack of toilet paper and say, "I guess you need that 24 pack now that you're cleansing!

[Mr.Cat]

I don't know if this is funny but the other day my son Henry and I were wating for the wife to give us a haircut. So Henry being Henry went ahead and got in the bathroom so he could get his first. Then our 3 month old needed a diaper change and the wife got a little distracted and Henry, who is a little impatient stormed out of the bathroom. My 2 year old saw him and all of the sudden yelled out: "Hen-u-ee, you're a retard!!" I froze for a moment, looked at the wife and I had to leave the room because I just couldn't hold the laughter. I did laugh but NOT IN FRONT OF HER. I didn't want her to think it was funny so she will think it was fine for her to day this.

[Rakhi]

I was baby-sitting one of my friends 4 year old daughter. We had to go to the Home Depot to buy some paint and and little girl was sitting in the cart. She is just starting to learn the parts of the human body.

While I was selecting the paint this little one bends over and starts rubbing the hi-knee of a really fat women and starts singing, "big hi-knee, very big hi-knee". It was not so funny looking at the lady's face and I literally had to run after apologising.

[TMTY]

Originally Posted by Mr.Cat

I don't know if this is funny but the other day my son Henry and I were wating for the wife to give us a haircut. So Henry being Henry went ahead and got in the bathroom so he could get his first. Then our 3 month old needed a diaper change and the wife got a little distracted and Henry, who is a little impatient stormed out of the bathroom. My 2 year old saw him and all of the sudden yelled out: "Hen-u-ee, you're a retard!!" I froze for a moment, looked at the wife and I had to leave the room because I just couldn't hold the laughter. I did laugh but NOT IN FRONT OF HER. I didn't want her to think it was funny so she will think it was fine for her to day this.

Mr. Cat I think thats hilarious, put a smile on my face!

[younglisa7]

This one is a little long but it was funny. I have been writing our story and building process online since June. Anyway here is a part when we had our metal roof delivered.


On Wednesday we found out that our metal roof would be delivered. We bought the metal roofing at the farm supply about 3 miles from our property which made it convenient. The only problem was the delivery didn't get in until 4:30. So the owner, David, of the farm supply drove to our place with the delivery man following. Turns out the man driving the delivery truck couldn't make the turn from the county road onto our right-of-way because his trailer was too long. So David came up to get Mike, my hubby, and I to help. We all go back down to the right-of-way with Mike on his tractor and David and I in his truck. I'm sorry to say I didn't have my camera for this fiasco. Anyway the driver pulled into the corner as far as he could while Mike used the bucket of the tractor and put it underneath the trailer and David hooked a chain from his truck to the back of the trailer. Mike lifted while David pulled and they got the trailer cleared of the corner so the driver could now drive in. At that point I got into the truck with the delivery man and Mike and David followed behind. As we got through our gate and almost to the barn the driver says to me "do you see the roofing"? What are you talking about? He says I think we lost it. You've got to be kidding. So we get out of the truck and sure enough our metal roof is sitting in the road. Mike and David are there waiting. Great, now the 4 of us Mike who recently had a hernia operation, David who has a bad back, me who is a little strong but not that strong, and the delivery guy, have to get this metal which is 17 feet long back onto the truck. And you can't bend this stuff. After getting blocks and boards from the barn we finally have enough leverage to get the roofing back on the trailer. We start up again and get about 200 feet and we get stuck because his trailer is just too much for his truck. Oh this is turning out to be a bad day. It is now about 7:00pm and Mike has finally had it and he tells the driver to pull over on the grass and drop the load there. We stake and rope off the roofing so the cows don't damage it and we call it a day. That was our roofing fiasco and it is still on the side of the road as I type this.



Now if you are interested in the disaster when the trusses for our roof were delivered you can see that story at:

http://www.city-data.com/forum/tenne...nnessee-5.html

Scroll down to Chapter 5 for the truss disaster.

[Ivorytickler]

Um....let's just say that you shouldn't crack jokes about bodily functions like farts in front of your kids if they happen to have cell phones unless you're SURE they're not on the phone with someone

I'm, officially, the weird mom

[younglisa7]

Another joke from my husband.


Monday 10-27
Mike worked his butt off this past weekend to get us back on line with our wind and solar. We are living in the house and producing our own power without using the generator. Woo hoo!

We had some errands to run so we loaded the trailer with the household trash and headed to the dump. On the way we stopped at one of Jimmy's(our grader) properties to pay our grading bill. Mike drove us all the way into Jimmy's property and continued up the road even when the gravel stopped. Jimmy wasn't there and there was no place to turn around. Mike says "no problem" and he starts backing up the jeep and trailer. I can't see a thing. Mike starts to pick up speed as we are traveling backwards and he starts yelling "oh no, oh no" as we are swerving. Now I am having a flashback to the day we almost got killed on the 4-wheeler when the trailer jackknifed. I'm thinking, this is it, we are going to flip this jeep over with the trailer. I am in pure panic mode. The next thing I notice is Mike turning the wheel and he is still yelling. Oh great, we're dead now. All of a sudden he stops the jeep and he is laughing hysterically. "The ass". That was so not funny. He says to me "you had to see your face". Oh yeah, I'm sure we would have won the prize in "America's Funniest Home Videos" if we had taped that. I told him "I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day". C'mon you gotta admit, it was pretty funny. Yeah Ok but you're still an ass.

[TMTY]

Most people will think this is dreadfully inappropriate, but i couldnt help myself!

I was at a funeral the other day, my friend’s dad - a car accident, very tragic. I was sitting beside an elderly women and she kept pharting......... I mean proper loud pharting noises, big wet ones! I couldn’t help laugh during most of the ceremony, I had to pretend that I wasn't laughing but crying. People kept look at me sympathetically and that just set me of even more, the bf was mortified!