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Old 12-29-2008, 02:53 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,311,298 times
Reputation: 506

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Finally, a male journalist tells the truth like it is:


My boyfriend and I have been living with each other for years, and we act like a married couple. Thing is, every time I bring up marriage, he freaks out and tells me he's not ready. But the only thing that differentiates us from a married couple is the title. So why does he balk? Am I wasting my time?



The word marriage makes even the most manly man shrivel up like a nudist in a meat locker. There is just something so permanent about the institution and downright claustrophobic. As irrational as it may seem to you, your guy's position probably makes perfect sense to him. He could be with you 20 years, share a mortgage, and sire three children but still feel like he's keeping his options open just because there's no ring on his finger. The fact is, some men just aren't wired for wedlock. You need to find out if your man is one of them. First, ask him how he feels about marriage, if it's something he even sees for himself in the future. Next, coolly and calmly tell him how you feel. Say, "We obviously love each other, but I'm worried this relationship has hit a wall. It doesn't have to be today, but are you ever going to be ready for something more?" If his reaction is positive and he seems willing to start making some decisions, that's a really good sign. But if he's argumentative and unwilling to talk about it, then you might be dealing with a nuptial nitwit. And unless you want to continue living in unwedded bliss, go find yourself a marriage-minded man.
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Old 12-29-2008, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,708,331 times
Reputation: 14495
My husband asked me to marry him on our second date so I'm gonna vote no on this one. If you want a ring on your hand, find someone else to put it there.
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Old 12-29-2008, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,122,397 times
Reputation: 22814
If somebody wants to get married, I don't believe shacking up is the best path to the altar.
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Old 12-29-2008, 02:59 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,311,298 times
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Everyone, this is simply an article, with the answer already on that article!
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:03 PM
 
182 posts, read 542,663 times
Reputation: 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
If somebody wants to get married, I don't believe shacking up is the best path to the altar.

Exactly. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:05 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,415,357 times
Reputation: 47455
IMHO
42 million divorces later since 1975, 75% were involuntary for the guy (she filed).
it is not silly male timidity. good instincts. listen to them.
that same beautiful woman that thinks you are the best thing since french toast will remove
your body parts in a court of law a few years later--- for no good reason at all.
if you really do love and wana marry him do this 1 kind thing
take him to a lawyer and do a contract b4 the marriage, not after. when it is over he will
remember your love and mercy.
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:16 PM
 
11,390 posts, read 12,660,504 times
Reputation: 12419
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
If somebody wants to get married, I don't believe shacking up is the best path to the altar.
That's exactly it.

Why give it all away??

He doesn't have to commit now that it's all there. Duh.
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:19 PM
 
11,390 posts, read 12,660,504 times
Reputation: 12419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
IMHO
42 million divorces later since 1975, 75% were involuntary for the guy (she filed).
it is not silly male timidity. good instincts. listen to them.
that same beautiful woman that thinks you are the best thing since french toast will remove
your body parts in a court of law a few years later--- for no good reason at all.
if you really do love and wana marry him do this 1 kind thing
take him to a lawyer and do a contract b4 the marriage, not after. when it is over he will
remember your love and mercy.
Prenup?

Hmmm?

How ya gonna get her to go thru with that?

Well, I like the idea. Then when she wants it over you just get the paperwork out and seperate the stuff.

I like it.
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:28 PM
 
2,002 posts, read 3,986,402 times
Reputation: 1748
As funnymann said, the boy is ready. No more commitment required. Maybe the girl needed more honesty and some limits established from the beginning.

For example, I lived with hubby not being married for a couple of years but he knew me perfectly well to know I wanted the M word (xD) in a reasonable amount of time.
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Old 12-29-2008, 03:32 PM
 
23,906 posts, read 31,137,585 times
Reputation: 28539
My EX-husband told his best friend on the first night we met...that I was the girl he was going to marry. And he did.

(Not that we stayed married....but hey... )

If you want marriage, and he doesn't...MOVE ON.
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